The first principle of getting along with people is "hello, hello, hello, everyone".
There is no need to have conflicts with others and make grudges; There is no need to argue with others. Only when both parties give face and steps, you cooperate with me, and I cooperate with you, will the relationship be harmonious.
Dealing with acquaintances and keeping these six eyes more is a real high emotional intelligence.
01
Keep your distance and don't get into the "hedgehog effect".
If people get too close to each other, it is a disaster. Everyone is like a hedgehog covered in thorns, hurting each other as soon as they get close. This is known as the "hedgehog effect".
Just imagine, even if it is a husband and wife who share the same bed, after getting along for a long time, they will look at each other unpleasantly, and all kinds of quarrels, how can they be outsiders? Getting along with outsiders makes it easier to offend the hedgehog effect.
If you contact him too much, he will dislike you; If you get too close to him, he will dislike you; If you talk to him too much, he will think that you are like a dogskin plaster.
A relationship, as long as there are signs of "hate", is not far from being broken. In this case, we might as well keep our distance from others and try to maintain the stability of our relationship.
02
Be mysterious, and don't inspire the "evil of human nature."
Why do acquaintances dare to take advantage of honest people? Because honest people lack a certain sense of mystery. In other words, honest people have been seen through and touched, and they have naturally become soft persimmons that can be handled.
The old fritters in the rivers and lakes basically have a very deep city, which is not the same as honest people, so no one dares to bully these old fritters. If others can't see through you, they will naturally not dare to act rashly against you.
The essence of the castle is mystery. The rivers and lakes are the battlefields, and the cities are the armor. The difference between you wearing armor and not wearing armor is not ordinary.
When dealing with anyone, don't dig your heart and lungs, but keep a sense of mystery. Only in this way can we avoid the attack of "human evil" from happening to us.
03
Be nosy and avoid being "hated and disliked."
As the saying goes, "To manage the affairs of others, you must have a heart of misfortune." It means that if you take care of other people's affairs, then you need to be mentally prepared to be targeted and retaliated against.
Here's an example. It's not good for relatives to scold her husband, and that's not okay either. If you are troubled and scolded, then others will think that you "don't know how to behave", I can scold my husband, but you can't scold my husband.
The same thing. Relatives said that there were a lot of household chores and it was tiring. If you talk a lot, just break the casserole and ask others about trivial matters, then others will hate you and think that you are deliberately provoking trouble.
It's not easy to get along with a relationship. It is possible that if we say one more word, we will offend others. In that case, it is good to respect the lives of others. And the premise of respect is to take care of other people's affairs.
04
Words are overwhelming, avoid "crazy bars" with others.
In real life, many people like to take advantage of their "mouths", and they have to "win" others in some things, otherwise they feel uncomfortable inside.
Is it really appropriate to compete with others in terms of mouth? In my opinion, it is not quite appropriate. Because it's an impulsive act and an emotionless one.
How to understand it? First of all, if you compete to win over others, you will only have a grudge with others, and there will be no other benefits. Secondly, as long as there is the first time to raise the bar, there will be countless follow-ups. Not necessarily.
When it comes to speaking, there is no need to seek to be better than others. Others think that if we want to say that, then we just do what they want. Anyway, what others like to say, we don't want to offend others, just don't hear it.
05
Combining rigidity and softness, we must make others "feel awe".
Children get along, because everyone has no scheming, naturally there is no need to have any precautions. But adults are different, perhaps, you will get along with wolves in sheep's clothing.
Wolves in sheep's clothing like to bully the most, those who have no means and are defenseless. As long as others don't fear you, they will want to violate you and do bad things to you.
If we want to avoid being violated, it is actually very simple, and we need to "stand up". It is necessary to have both the heart of a bodhisattva and the means of vajra. The two are one, and others will respect us if they feel that it is very expensive to bully us.
To make others feel that there is a cost of loss, others will not act rashly. This is called "psychological deterrence". As the Art of War says, attacking the heart is the best.
06
Grievances and grievances are clear, and we must know how to "one yard is one yard".
When getting along with others, don't take other people's contributions for granted. In this world, there is no such thing as a matter of course, only "the grace of the water is reciprocated by the springs".
Get along with others, try not to confuse kindness with resentment, repay kindness when it is time to repay kindness, and take revenge when it is time to take revenge.
However, for ordinary people, it is too difficult to achieve "clear grievances". Human nature is forgetful, pursues advantages and avoids disadvantages, and generally "takes revenge", which is why there are so many tragedies.
If there is a vengeance, he will not repay the non-gentleman, and the grievances will be clear. How others treat us, then we treat others as we do to others, one thing is one thing, one report is one report, and that is enough.
Text/Shushan has deer