I find that there are a lot of theories of redemption that are well known today, such as the rollercoaster theory that we are going to talk about today.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
Before talking about the roller coaster theory, let's first talk about a loss aversion, which is also known to everyone in redemption, the so-called loss aversion psychology, that is, you will feel disgusted by the loss of what belongs to you,
To give a very simple example, a piece of clothing, although you may not have worn it for a long time, but when you can't find it, you may still have a feeling of pity, and you will feel that it will still be useful.
From the psychology of loss aversion, there is also a school of redemption, which is to use the ex's loss aversion psychology to recover, for example, after the breakup, he is very good to the ex, and then suddenly withdraws, so that the ex has a loss aversion. Or find the opposite sex to stimulate the ex, so that the ex feels that his person has been snatched away by another person of the opposite sex, and then the mood swings compound.
Here I would like to share with you a knowledge point that what works theoretically can be useful in practice, but it is necessary to consider various practical limitations.
In terms of what we're talking about today, loss aversion can help some people recover, but we also need to note that many of our predecessors don't eat it.
Let me give you an example:
This boy and his girlfriend are in an online relationship, it is an online dating that has not yet met, and they have been talking on the Internet for more than three months, and they were originally discussed to meet next month, but the girlfriend finally hesitated when she decided to meet, and there are many reasons for hesitation, and the first time she saw a netizen was more afraid, and the girl herself was not experienced enough in love, and she was not sure how she felt about the boy, etc.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
Although they talked for more than three months and often had video chats, the girls were still more reserved and told the boys that they were still gone.
As a result, the boy couldn't hold back, he was angry for a while, he got angry with the girl, and then there was a more fierce quarrel, and finally broke up.
If it's just this step, it's okay, it's not very serious, but this boy saw the disgust and loss psychology, so he wanted to find someone to stimulate this girl, so he posted beautiful women in his circle of friends, screenshots of chatting with other members of the opposite sex, etc., his idea is also very simple, he thinks that girls like themselves, and he will definitely make girls turn back.
The result was as he expected, the girl did react a lot, and she was very angry, and many behaviors showed her reluctance to the boy, and the boy saw the girl's reaction and knew the girl's mind, so he always came to mention the reunion, but no matter what, the girl just didn't agree, and then the reaction became more and more cold.
The boy felt that there was no hope of redemption, so he found me and asked what to do next?
When we see this process, it is not that the girl does not have an aversion to loss, and it can also be seen that the girl also has true feelings for the boy, but why does this method not work in this case?
Xiaoyu said to redeem
The reason in this case is also very simple, in this case, it is obvious that the boy should take a more gentle approach to deal with it, and learn to dispel his girlfriend's concerns, rather than using to stimulate the girl's disgust, the girl feels that the relationship with him is risky, and as a result, the boy also strengthens the girl's concerns, that is, the direction is wrong, and the result is wrong.
This is also the confusion of many people in the process of redemption, thinking that many theories sound very reasonable, but why can't they do it when they come here.
Everyone should also remember today's conclusions, what works in theory, and learn to consider the constraints in reality. Only by calming your anxious heart and patiently analyzing your own situation can you find a method that suits you.
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