Text/Flying Fish
It is often said that children are always the hearts and minds of their parents, and they can never let go.
Therefore, parents worry about their children all their lives, revolve around their children all their lives, and have no life of their own at all.
In fact, parents and children are mutual, as parents, don't think that children are their own world, you also have your own life, have your own world, and children will also have their own life, learn to let go, is a homework for parents, only learn to let go, in order to be more conducive to the maintenance of family affection.
When we get old, our children grow up, and after the age of 50, we have to learn to let go, don't worry so much anymore, and have more time to manage our own lives, which is the best.
People over 50, please stop doing these three things to your children immediately, many people have suffered, don't know.
1. Don't interfere in your children's lives anymore.
Many parents still interfere in their children's lives after their children have become married, and they still have to live with their children, and they live together to dictate and interfere too much in their children's lives, and the children are very embarrassed and don't want to turn their faces, so they can only endure it all the time.
In fact, parents interfering too much in their children's lives will only allow conflicts to accumulate all the time, and one day they will erupt, leading to a good family relationship.
In "The Old, the Young", the man's parents live in their son's small home, and the woman's mother and younger brother also live in this small home, so there are constant contradictions, the male and female protagonists are actually very filial people, but no matter how filial they are, they have no autonomy in life, and they have to be controlled by others in everything they do, and they feel very suffocated.
Even at home, I don't even give Internet access and can't do work, so conflicts continue to erupt.
Originally, it was already difficult for the elderly on one side of a small family, and the elderly on both sides had to live in, you see that my child is not pleasing to the eye, and I look at your child is not pleasing to the eye, and the parents of both parties are arguing with each other, and they are interfering in the child's life, and it is the child who is embarrassed.
Far-sighted parents, in fact, will not live with their children, after the children get married, have their own small family, let them live on their own, do not delay their two-person world, so that the contradictions will be reduced a lot, and the children will not be unfilial to themselves.
On the contrary, if you interfere too much, you will be opposed and disliked by your children.
2. Don't plan your children's life anymore.
After the age of 50, the children have reached adulthood and already have their own ideas and plans, so they should no longer make private decisions to plan their lives for their children.
Before you do anything, as long as it is related to the child, you should still discuss it with the child, ask the child's opinion, respect the child's ideas and choices, and don't make decisions for the child privately, otherwise the child will hate you.
Just like Meng Mingwei in "Pyrotechnics", she has always come according to her own wishes, asking her children to follow her own ideas, and when the children have graduated and worked, they can't choose the industry they like.
When she saw other people's children working as teachers in her hometown, she felt very honored, and she wanted her daughter to come back as a teacher, so she called her daughter's boss privately and asked her to resign for her.
After my daughter found out, she didn't want to quit her job or go back to being a teacher, so she turned her face with her mother and didn't even want to go home.
Meng Mingwei always denied her daughter's choice, not only did she not support it, but also said everywhere that she had no future, and wanted to plan her life for her and let her daughter follow her route, which was obviously not good, and would only break the relationship.
Don't impose your own life script on your children, and respect your children's choices is the foresight.
3. Don't give all your money to your children.
When people are old, in fact, there are very few ways to make money, and they should keep their money bags, don't just give money to their children, even if the children ask you to ask for it, you don't want to give it casually, but keep it for yourself, and tell your children to be self-reliant and rely on themselves.
remembered Uncle Yan in "An Family", who used the money he had saved in his life to buy a house for his son, thinking that he could live in a new house, and he didn't add his name to the house book, but he didn't expect that after his son got married, he didn't let the old couple live in.
Uncle Yan and his wife, they are still old and have no place to live, which is very distressing.
You must know that money is your own hole card and an important condition for ensuring your life.
Don't overturn them all, keep some for yourself, so that you don't suffer all the hardships.
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