In the journey of life, father's love is like a beacon that illuminates our way forward. It is not only the warmth of home, but also the bridge between us and the outside world. The role of a father has an immeasurable impact on shaping our personality and the way we approach intimate relationships.
From a psychological point of view, fathers are the template for us to learn the rules of society and build relationships. A father who gives his children a sense of security is able to raise children who are confident and able to face the challenges of intimate relationships. Boys learn a sense of responsibility and moral judgment by observing their father's behavior; Girls, on the other hand, build a sense of self-identity through their father's attitude and learn to say "no" firmly when necessary.
However, paternal love is not always perfect. In East Asian cultures, fathers are often absent from their children's lives because they are busy with work, and this absence can lead to low self-esteem and a desire to prove their worth through their partner's "performative love." Behind this desire is a lack of recognition and security for the father. Boys may become less responsible, while girls may develop anxious attachments and become oversensitive to their partner's actions.
In families with strained relationships with their fathers, children may grow up to pursue flawless intimacy with zero tolerance for mistakes. Behind this pursuit is the fear of the father's accusations and the illusion of a perfect relationship. Such children often feel uneasy in relationships, always looking for contradictions and shortcomings, and find it difficult to experience true happiness.
However, excessive paternal love can also be problematic. If the father is overly involved in the child's life, the child may not be able to be independent, and women may be inclined to choose an older partner because they are looking for a "father figure" who can give a sense of security. The relationship may lack true understanding and empathy, but it is difficult to part with familiarity.
Fortunately, each of us as adults has the ability to grow and seek fulfillment, even when fatherhood is absent or excessive. We can find support through our relationships with family and friends, and by establishing a sense of boundaries, we can gradually become spiritually independent of our father and find our own place.
The power of fatherly love is enormous, but it also needs moderation. A father who can step back at the right time and let his children learn to be independent can develop a more sound and independent personality. Proper fatherly love is the most valuable asset on our way to growth. Let us cherish this love, and at the same time learn to grow ourselves and move towards a more fulfilling life.