In "The Story of the Rose", who do you think is the best man?
Is it Zhuang Guodong, who has been obsessed with his feelings for Huang Yimei for 20 years, or Fang Xiewen, who is very good at making money and has a bigger and bigger career, but still has a deep love for his ex-wife?
In my opinion, the best man in the play is Huang Zhenhua!
Although Huang Zhenhua had a brief desertion in his relationship with Su Su, it was because Su Su bought a house alone without telling him, after the cold war between the two, Su Su went on a business trip, and then Huang Zhenhua and Bai Xiaohe made an appointment to go fishing.
Huang Zhenhua also went to teach Bai Xiaohe how to make fish, and the two talked very happily.
Fortunately, Bai Xiaohe still has no feelings for him, but he has a little idea of "borrowing sperm to have children", and as soon as her tentative words came out, Huang Zhenhua's little bit of beautiful little thoughts about his first love was repelled at once!
After Huang Zhenhua was violently criticized by Su Su's best friend and his own sister Huang Yimei, he immediately woke up.
But when he reconciled and kissed Su Su who returned from a business trip, Huang Zhenhua's eyes still stayed for a moment when he swept the fishing rod, which can be regarded as mourning his unstarted first love, and it can be regarded as a small nostalgia and unfinished. @第一滴露珠原创文章
However, just because Huang Zhenhua has deserted once, he can't be considered a good man.
After all, the kind of man who has never had any thoughts and thoughts about the opposite sex in his life (including the kind of fleeting thoughts that come to mind) may not exist at all in this world, or the probability of existence is too low, and may only appear in idol romance dramas or that kind of pure love novels and TV series.
Human nature is complex and has instinctive weaknesses. It is not despicable to desert for a while, as long as you overcome the weakness and ugliness of human nature, you are still a good man.
Isn't there a marriage expert abroad who said a very famous sentence: In this world, even the happiest marriage will have 200 impulses to divorce and 50 thoughts of strangling each other in a lifetime.
In Dewdrop's view, as a man, Huang Zhenhua has at least three significant advantages.
The first advantage: respect for your girlfriend and love for your girlfriend, not out of that instinctive possessiveness.
Huang Zhenhua has great respect for Su Su and will discuss everything with Su Su.
Born in a scholarly family and well nurtured by his parents since he was a child, he has almost no machismo. Occasionally, if you have an attack, you can recognize your mistakes in time and apologize and correct them in time. @第一滴露珠原创文章
For example, when Su Su bought a house, he didn't discuss it with Huang Zhenhua, and he didn't even mention it, until the house was bought, and he told Huang Zhenhua.
Huang Zhenhua was also angry at the time, thinking that Su Su disrespected him and did not treat him as a boyfriend and family.
In fact, Su Su is also at fault in this matter.
Because Su Su has always been used to being alone and self-reliant, she takes it for granted that since this house was bought for herself and is a pre-marital house, she naturally does not need Huang Zhenhua's consent.
But at least, Su Su should have spoken to Huang Zhenhua in advance to let him understand his thoughts.
Although Huang Zhenhua was angry because of this incident, he finally figured it out, apologized to Su Su, and took the initiative to take over the drudgery of helping Su Su do a full set of decoration.
The second advantage: Huang Zhenhua does not have the "virgin complex" that many men in China have, let alone the idea of treating his girlfriend as a personal item.
Su Su (Su Gengsheng) in the play, when she was 16 years old, was sexually assaulted by her stepfather, when she told Huang Zhenhua about this tragic incident that made her have nightmares for many years, Huang Zhenhua was more distressed by Su Su and angry at her beast stepfather, and did not discriminate against Su Su because of this, let alone the instinctive thoughts of some men in reality who "feel that their girlfriends are not clean". @第一滴露珠原创文章
In the long history of China's thousands of years of feudal culture, women's chastity used to be a problem that many men cared about, and for thousands of years, it has caused countless love tragedies and female tragedies.
But with the progress of the times and concepts, Chinese men nowadays are no longer as obsessed and entangled in whether their girlfriend is the "first time" as in the past.
Because if a man is entangled in a woman's first time, then a woman can also ask a man rhetorically: Is it the first time for you? If not, what right and right do you have to claim from me?
Middle-aged and elderly people with traditional concepts may think that the current premarital cohabitation and other behaviors are a kind of moral regression, but in this era, the characteristics of young people who generally marry late and have children later determine that they can no longer have sex after marriage as in the past.
In the past, people got married before the age of 20, or even at the age of 17 or 8, but now, those who marry early have to be 23 or 4, and those who generally get married at the age of 26, 7, or even 30. @第一滴露珠原创文章
The pressure of going to school, working, and buying a house is heavy on young people, and marriage has become a more luxurious topic, and therefore, although premarital cohabitation cannot be said to be correct, now both young and old, can only actively or passively recognize its prevalence.
However, many men still can't accept that their girlfriends have been sexually assaulted.
It stands to reason that his girlfriend was sexually assaulted by a bad man, it was the fault of the bad man, the girlfriend was not only innocent but also hurt, as a boyfriend, you should sympathize with and feel sorry for your girlfriend, why do many men break up and get angry instead, and even break up with their girlfriends because of this?
The reason is that these men subconsciously do not regard their girlfriends as an independent individual, a person whom he truly respects and cherishes, but regards his girlfriend as his beloved "personal belongings". @第一滴露珠原创文章
Let's ask, knowing that his girlfriend has been sexually assaulted, how many people can do what Huang Zhenhua in the play does?
Even Su Su in the play was divorced once, and Huang Zhenhua accepted this fact calmly after being depressed for a few days.
Moreover, Huang Zhenhua's most commendable quality is that he did not feel that he was superior to her because Su Su had the experience of being sexually assaulted and divorced, and he could accept it, so he felt that he was higher than her, on the contrary, Huang Zhenhua said that he didn't care about Su Su's past after experiencing that marathon run with Su Su, but he then asked Su Su:
"Will you accept me?"
Express your own wishes, and then respect and inquire about the wishes of the other party, such a man is truly respectful of his girlfriend!
If this matter were replaced by Fang Xiewen and Rose, it is estimated that Fang Xiewen would look at Rose with a condescending and noble look: "What, do you still have to think about it?" You've been through so many things, I don't care anymore, what else do you want! Find an excellent man like me who doesn't care about your past, and you can burn high incense! "@第一滴露珠原创
Huang Zhenhua's third advantage is that he is ambitious, but he attaches more importance to his family.
Huang Zhenhua and Su Su are a bit strong and weak, but Huang Zhenhua did not feel inferior because of this, or deliberately dragged his wife's career back, on the contrary, he was very supportive of his wife's career and was happy to see his wife's excellence.
Huang Zhenhua himself has a certain degree of dedication, but he attaches more importance to the happiness and harmony of his family.
He is neither like Zhuang Guodong who can sacrifice love for his career, nor like Fang Xiewen, who is afraid that his wife is better than him, and he will not be as selfish as Fu Jiaming, knowing that he has a terminal illness and wants to start a relationship with Rose, the four male protagonists in the play, Huang Zhenhua is undoubtedly the one with the highest comprehensive quality and the best character. @第一滴露珠原创
Discussion Questions:
How many men in reality would be like Huang Zhenhua, who doesn't care about his girlfriend's marriage history and experience of being sexually assaulted?
(Text/First Dewdrop)