Dink's husband of 20 years wants to have a child, and I have been menopausal for half a year, and he wants to divorce I don't want to
My name is Li Jing, I am 48 years old this year, I have been married to my husband Zhang Qiang for 20 years, and I have been living an enviable Dink life. We have decent jobs, good savings, travel around the world every year, and live freely and freely.
A peaceful life is like a pebble thrown into a lake, causing ripples and eventually breaking our original tranquility.
Everything changed because of a serious illness in Zhang Qiang's parents half a year ago. The two old men fell ill one after another, tossing Zhang Qiang, the only child, enough to choke on it, and the hospital ran at both ends. Because I am busy with work and I am not very good at taking care of people, I can only go to the hospital occasionally, which is not of much help.
During that time, Zhang Qiang visibly lost weight, and his originally black hair also had a few more strands of silver. Looking at his tired appearance, I also felt very uncomfortable, but there was nothing I could do.
One night, when I came home from work, I saw Zhang Qiang sitting in the living room in a daze, his eyes red. I walked over, gently put my arm around his shoulder, and asked, "What's wrong?" Is it that the parents are not doing well? ”
Zhang Qiang shook his head and said in a hoarse voice: "Mom and Dad, the doctor said that the recovery is good, and I will be discharged from the hospital in a few days." ”
"Then what are you ......," I looked at him quizzically.
Zhang Qiang was silent for a moment, raised his head, looked at me with complicated eyes, and said, "Quietly, we... Let's have a baby! ”
I was stunned, thinking I had misheard. After 20 years of marriage, we have already reached a consensus that we don't want children and enjoy the world of two. How is it all of a sudden now...
"Hadron, what are you talking about? Aren't you too tired, rest early. I tried to hide my panic and got up to help him back to my room.
"I'm not kidding, quietly, I'm serious!" Zhang Qiang grabbed my hand, and his tone was unprecedentedly firm, "My parents' illness this time made me realize that we can't be so selfish, we need a child, a child who continues our bloodline!" ”
I shook off his hand vigorously, and my tone became colder: "Zhang Qiang, you said it yourself, as long as I have one child in my life, what?" Regret it now? ”
"Silence, ...... me"
"I tell you, no way! I'm almost fifty years old, and I've been menopausal for half a year, how do you let me give birth? "I almost yelled out, and the grievances and anger that had been pent up in my heart for many years completely exploded at this moment.
Zhang Qiang was stunned, he didn't expect my reaction to be so intense. He was silent for a long time before he whispered, "Jingjing, I'm sorry, I didn't know about you... I have consulted with the doctor and we can try IVF and there is hope......"
"IVF?" I sneered, "Zhang Qiang, have you ever thought that even if I want, my body can't bear it?" Do you want me to trade my life for the continuation of your bloodline? ”
"Jingjing, I didn't mean that, I just ......"
"What are you? You're just being selfish! You only think about yourself, have you considered my feelings? "I couldn't control my emotions anymore and tears welled up in my eyes.
That night, we had a big fight, and neither of us would budge. In the end, Zhang Qiang packed a few clothes and moved to the guest room.
In the days that followed, we were like two strangers, living under the same roof without any communication. I locked myself in my room every day, didn't eat or drink, and washed my face with tears.
I can't accept that twenty years of relationship can't be worth a child. I can't accept that Zhang Qiang wants to divorce me for the sake of a child.
I hate him, I hate his selfishness, I hate his ruthlessness.
A week later, Zhang Qiang suddenly filed for divorce, his tone was calm, but unusually resolute. He said he had figured it out, he wanted a child of his own, and I couldn't satisfy him.
I refused, and I told him that even if I didn't have children, I would stay with him until he was old.
Zhang Qiang has made up his mind, and he sued for divorce.
In court, he calmly stated that our relationship had broken down, but I couldn't cry, crying about the bits and pieces of the past 20 years.
Eventually, the court granted us a divorce.
I lost my marriage, I lost my love, and I lost twenty years of my youth.
I hate Zhang Qiang and hate him for ruining everything for me.
When I calmed down and thought carefully about our twenty years of married life, I suddenly realized that perhaps, this marriage had already had problems, but I had been deceiving myself and unwilling to face it.
We are like two parallel lines, seemingly intimate, but never truly intersecting.
I began to reflect on myself, on this marriage, on my love.
Perhaps, letting go is the best relief for each other.
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