Text: Meat
The statements in this article are based on reliable sources of information and are detailed at the end of the article
In order to rely on the elderly, the elders will choose to give birth to multiple children, so that they can add an insurance for the "retirement and death" in the future.
But this notion no longer seems to be applicable by now.
A pair of Kochi parents in Shanghai raised their three children and sent them abroad to develop, but after the old man died, none of them were willing to come back to see the old man off.
Their approach made netizens scold them for being disloyal and unfilial.
And whether raising children can prevent old age has also become a new round of debate.
Can 3 children prevent old age?
Recently, a news broke out on the Internet, an old couple in Shanghai sent their 3 children abroad, and they retired but no one took care of them.
He didn't see his children until the last moment of his life.
In some people's minds, it is a great honor to be able to study and live with their children abroad.
The same is true of this old couple, the two old men are professors at a famous local university, there is such an atmosphere, and the children are also very competitive, admitted to American universities, and settled in the United States to live.
Since then, none of the three children have returned to China to visit their parents.
After the two elderly people retired, they could only move to a nursing home, because their retirement salaries were very considerable, and when choosing a nursing home, they deliberately chose a more senior one.
The two of them, who were originally tough, could often choose to travel for recreation, and slowly as they grew older, they could only nest in the small world of the nursing home.
Chats with children can only be supported by mobile phones.
Due to physical reasons, the two gradually began to live on both sides of the hospital nursing home, during which the nursing home communicated with their children, but they both refused to visit on the grounds that they were busy with work.
Until the old lady fell ill and died, the children did not come back.
At this time, it was the old gentleman's aftermath that was in charge, and after his wife left, without the company of his children, he was even more lonely and depressed.
A few years later, the old gentleman also passed away in a nursing home.
At this time, there was no one around who could deal with the aftermath, and the nursing home informed the children of the bad news, but they still said that they did not have time.
This kind of thing is put on other people, no matter how busy they are at work, they must be by the side of the elderly and send them to the end.
However, it is clear that these three children do not have such awareness.
The children left their father's funeral in the hands of the nursing home, and said that money was not an issue.
After receiving feedback from the family, the nursing home began to deal with the aftermath of the elderly wholeheartedly, and at the time of the final farewell, the children started a new way to send them off: online send-off.
I thought that the father-daughter relationship would end like this, but I didn't expect the old man to have an inheritance to deal with, and when the children learned of such news, they all rushed from abroad to deal with related matters.
The old gentleman who revealed the news to the media also directly said that most of the families who have settled abroad now have such problems.
Some people don't even reply to their children's phone calls after they go abroad.
He also said that such a life in old age is not as good as some parents who have children in China to support the elderly.
Netizens who know about this incident are also talking about it.
Some netizens expressed their understanding of this, because of time and employment environment factors, tossing back and forth will only pay more energy, and people cannot be resurrected after death, and it is not necessarily necessary to send them face-to-face to the end, which is the interpretation of family affection.
Some people think that this situation is much better than those parents who are gnawing at home.
But the vast majority of netizens believe that no matter what kind of reason they usually have not to come back, after the old man is gone, no matter how big it is, he will have to stand aside.
Among them, some netizens summarized the core of the matter, and it is a very common existence.
Because of the differences in the educational problems of the two countries, in the face of emotional problems, the way of dealing with them is different, and foreign countries are relatively more free and do not care about emotional connections.
After living abroad for many years, you will be exposed to the local culture.
And like this, there are not a few empty-nest parents who go to work and live abroad because their children go abroad, and the former "old people have something to rely on" has become an empty word.
There is a lot of media that has focused on the new type of empty nesters.
Going abroad is emotionally disconnected
In order to allow their children to get better development, parents with financial conditions will choose to send their children abroad for development, and some people choose to settle abroad after completing their studies.
Among them, there is filial piety to take the old man to live abroad, but the old man can not adapt to the local environment at all, and can only return to China, but the children who have their own life circle abroad will generally not give up all the choices abroad to return to China.
When talking about their children to the people around them, most parents will tell others how good their children are and what achievements they have achieved abroad.
I don't say anything about the loneliness of living alone.
When the reporter did relevant interviews, many elderly people expressed their views like reporters.
After their children became adults, they chose to study abroad, and for the sake of their children's future, the old couple chose to respect their daughter's wishes to take them abroad.
At first, when I first arrived abroad, because of the language barrier, the child often felt pressured and chose to contact his parents by phone to complain about the latest situation.
But as time went on, I gradually adapted to life abroad, and I changed from frequent chats with my parents to small talk at a fixed time every day.
After completing her studies, her daughter chose to stay and work locally, and she also got married and had children abroad.
Every time this issue is mentioned, the old couple regrets sending their children abroad in the first place.
Although I video chat with my grandchildren every day, I have never been face-to-face, and I am not as kind to my grandchildren as the children in the neighborhood.
The old man said that he was originally a very optimistic person, but after experiencing these things, he became a little depressed.
Now I can only rely on participating in community activities every day to relieve my mood.
When faced with the happiness of children, netizens have polarized views.
Some people think that children are born free, and raising children is not to prevent old age, as long as the children are happy, then they will be very happy.
The other part is the exact opposite.
Nowadays, more and more people think that "raising children to prevent old age" is a kind of moral kidnapping.
When the reporter interviewed the elderly, the old people said that the current era is different from before, and they used to accompany their parents no matter how much money they had.
Today's parents would rather go to a nursing home later than live with their children.
Everyone's choice is different, and no one else can interfere in whether or not to support their parents.
I don't know if raising children can prevent old age, but the most important thing to have is to establish the correct three views.
Source: Hongguan News 2024-6-28 June 26, Shanghai
Dawan News2017-12-20 What should empty nest parents do if their children are abroad? Some parents bluntly said that they regretted sending them abroad
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