#长文创作激励计划#
"Don't get too close to the mother of your child's classmate, otherwise it will be a disaster!" Colleague Qin Qin said angrily;
It turned out that Qinqin had a good relationship with her classmate Nini because her daughter had a good relationship, and the two families also made an appointment to play together, and after coming and going, Qinqin and the other party's mother also became friends.
In her opinion, having a good relationship with the other mother's mother can also promote the friendship between the two children, and can also keep abreast of the child's situation at school.
But Qinqin, who is bent on treating each other as a friend, is very uncomfortable because of the child's birthday.
Here's how it happened:
The two children are also very fateful, both have birthdays on the same day, and the other party's mother proposed to let the two children celebrate their birthdays together, and the cost is shared, and Qinqin readily agreed.
After that, the other mother's mother invited other mothers and children in the same class to attend the birthday party of the two children as a "hostess", but did not mention that the children of the Qinqin family were also little birthday stars.
And he also repeatedly said to Qinqin not to mention it in the mother group, saying that the two children were celebrating their birthdays together, because they were afraid that other mothers would prepare gifts, and they were embarrassed.
Qinqin also felt that it made sense, until the other mothers who were invited came to ask what gifts they should prepare for each other's children. Qinqin realized that her child had actually become a companion, and no one knew that her child was also the birthday star of the day.
Qinqin, who felt very aggrieved, asked other colleagues if they wanted to continue to celebrate their children's birthdays together.
Wenwen's mother has never advocated too close relationships between parents, especially being girlfriends, and people who have never suffered losses will do this.
The daughter has a slow and introverted personality, she has a good friend and a lively personality.
Once after taking the children to meet outside the community, the two children played happily together, and the two mothers also chatted together.
I said politely: Your Niuniu has such a lively personality, I really envy it, it would be nice if our family Wenwen was as lively as Niuniu.
Unexpectedly, she directly made fun of my child in front of everyone for being timid, having poor grades in school, and not being liked by teachers.
At that time, I was angry, and I made up my mind to stay away from her, so I replied directly:
"Your children are smart and lively, I envy them! As for our children, they are a little slow to burn and temporarily lag behind in learning.
But she's a self-respecting child, she's my baby, and I care about her. I hope you don't belittle her in front of others, derogating her in public will only hurt me, and will not raise your worth. ”
Since then, I haven't had an appointment with her, and the two children have drifted apart.
01. Why don't you get too close to your classmates' parents?
My personal experience is: don't get too close to the parents of your classmates, if there is no problem, everyone will be happy; Once something goes wrong, it will be difficult to end it, and you may also wronged your children and suffer yourself.
The reason for this is that most children, especially young children, find it difficult to maintain a good relationship with a classmate, and there are too many uncertain factors.
Once there is a conflict between the two children and the relationship deteriorates, you will be caught in the middle and be in a dilemma, and the mother is selfish in the face of the child's problems, and will be towards her own child, this is human nature.
The second is that the two children are in the same class, in fact, there is a competitive relationship, and it is difficult to have a real friendship with a competitive relationship, and there will be many entanglements of interests.
As the saying goes, "when the forest is big, there are all kinds of birds", some parents are, when your child is not as good as her child, you can be friends; Once she overtakes her child, she will think of all kinds of ways to drag your child into the water.
To be honest, I really don't recommend getting too close to the mother of my child's classmate, and when I meet, I just say a few words of greeting, and try not to have a deep friendship as much as possible.
02. Get along with classmates and parents, and these principles must be observed
If your child already has a regular friend in the class, and you have to keep in touch with the mother of your child's classmates, 4 "life-saving" suggestions will be given to you.
(1) Make an appointment to go out and drive
No matter how good your relationship with the other person is, when you go out to play, try to drive yourself, stick to the AA system for expenses, and don't owe each other money.
My colleague Sister Li went out with the mother of her child's classmate some time ago, in fact, she didn't really want to go, but she couldn't stand the other party's warm invitation, so she answered.
Originally, they were going to go out in their own cars, but the other party said that just the two adults and two children, they could sit in their cars.
At the beginning, the two children played quite well, but when it came to watching cartoons, there was a dispute, and the classmate's mother was in the way of face, so she put on the cartoons that Sister Li's children loved to watch.
Then the little girl in her family was unhappy, humming and chirping along the way, and said that she wanted to drive Sister Li and the child out of the car, saying that she didn't like them.
Sister Li's children were also angry, and kept telling Sister Li: Mom, let's go back, we won't play with them anymore.
After calming the emotions of the two children, when she arrived at the zoo, Sister Li bought tickets on her mobile phone in advance. But the other party's children didn't know, so they shouted for Sister Li to give money, which made both parents very embarrassed, and then they didn't have fun that day.
Since that time, the two families have not made an appointment.
(2) Don't complain about teachers or schools
A class can often share information and communicate with each other. But if you complain about other parents, teachers or schools, it is possible that every word of your complaint will become the other party's after-dinner conversation, and you may not be able to know when someone is used as a gun.
Take 10,000 steps back, even if you are known, it may be due to the child, the teacher and other interests, you don't even have the courage to go to her to confront her face-to-face, you can only swallow your anger for the sake of the child.
(3) Maintain boundaries and do not share private matters
Don't tell each other about the conflicts in your family, the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are fine, especially between husband and wife.
She may promise you not to share with outsiders, but that doesn't mean she won't share with her husband when she comes home.
If you accidentally hear it from your child, do you believe it? Every minute the whole class will know about this, and then it will be your child who will be hurt, and the two of you may become a joke.
(4) Put your own baby in the first place
If your child is bullied by classmates, don't think that you are familiar with the other parent, so you will not pursue it, and just have an attitude of indifference, which is not right.
In addition, in front of your children, don't blindly belittle your own baby in order to praise each other's children.
Children in the same class are inherently competitive, and there is a gap in information between parents. Therefore, there is no need to tell the other parent all the information that is beneficial to the child, such as the number of school admissions and admission paths.
In short, I will not have deep friendships with my children's classmates and parents, and my children's circle will be left to the children to judge and choose, and let the children be the protagonists of their own social circles.
As for parents, you can usually take the baby to play, occasionally fight to eat, drink, and play, you can play, and you can go back to your home to play, which is good! What do you think?
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