For ordinary people, learning is the most convenient way to succeed.
Especially for many children in mountain villages, studying hard has basically become the only way for them to get out.
Therefore, parents nowadays are very concerned about their children's learning. In order to provide better conditions for their children, many parents will choose to accompany them in the county.
This seemingly simple thing is tormenting for the accompanying mothers, some of them are depressed, and some choose to cheat......
Nowadays, there is such a phenomenon in the countryside, the children in the village go to school in the county seat from the beginning of kindergarten, all the way to the primary school, junior high school, high school, during this period, they are accompanied by their mothers and grandmothers. Some of them rent a house in the county, and if they can, they will choose to buy a house in the county.
Among these accompanying mothers, some of them are lucky enough to find a suitable job in the county to kill boring time and subsidize their families by the way.
But more often than not, you can't find the kind of career that can not only accompany your children, but also take care of your work.
They left the work and environment in which they had lived for many years and came to a very unfamiliar environment, where they had no relatives and their daily task was to cook for the children.
Therefore, for most accompanying mothers, their lives are not only full of great pressure, but also very monotonous and boring.
But even so, many of them are not recognized by their families, and some even say that they are lazy to do it, but in fact, only they know whether they are tired or not to be a companion mother.
Sometimes tiredness does not necessarily mean physical tiredness, but psychological tiredness is the most devastating.
Because physical tiredness may be solved by resting for a day, but psychological tiredness can lead to illness and even make people lose hope in life.
On June 14, 2020, the Xingchenghai Police Station in Huludao, Liaoning Province, received a report that someone had jumped into the sea and committed suicide.
The lady was very emotional, saying that she had no hope for her life.
It is understood that this is a mother who accompanies students, and the reason for her emotional breakdown is that her son is approaching the high school entrance examination, and she is very nervous and anxious.
But her son didn't think so at all, she persuaded the child to hurry up and study, but the child didn't think so, but played with his mobile phone there.
Thinking that she had given everything to spend with her child, and that the child had reciprocated her with such an attitude, she felt very desperate.
In the end, under the persuasion of the police, the lady gave up the idea of suicide.
His son also realized his mistake and promised to study hard in the future. But perhaps only the mother herself knows how much she has paid for her son, and how many emotional breakdowns she has gone through to make this suicide happen.
Whose fault is this? Is it because they expect too much from their children or are they too ignorant?
Perhaps for many accompanying mothers, they don't know if it's worth it.
For many accompanying mothers, psychological fatigue is the most terrifying than physical fatigue. Accompany the children every day, every emotional change of the children, every test score affects their hearts.
When children grow up, they can't talk too much, because they don't like to listen to too much. But after all, they are children, and their self-control is still limited. Say less, and they will go astray.
gave everything to the child, but in the eyes of the child, he became the person who was often angry and irritable.
In the eyes of the accompanying mother, he is like a psychopath.
There was once a mother who cried and said that once, she had an illness, and she felt so good lying on the hospital bed, because at this time she finally didn't have to care about anything.
But soon, she began to worry about whether the child had eaten well during her illness, whether she had neglected her supervision, and whether the child's school had been wasted.
It can be said that the child has become her everything, and those concerns for the child have trapped her in that small one-third of an acre.
Such a predicament makes accompanying mothers not only a group with a high incidence of depression, but also the group with the highest rate of female cheating.
In 2019, some of them conducted a survey on the cheating rate of Chinese women.
The results of the survey showed that 1 in 7 women had cheated. However, in the occupational survey of these cheating women, it was found that the proportion of full-time mothers, especially accompanying mothers, was the largest.
Because the husband who accompanies my mother is not by her side, life is indeed relatively boring. In their world, the daily thing is to take care of the children. These trivial things that are repeated over and over again have been done year after year.
They will also get tired of such a single life.
In addition, when children are away from school, they will have a lot of free time. When people are idle, they have all kinds of thoughts in their minds. As the child grows up, the psychological distance from himself becomes more and more distant.
Because he went to study abroad, he didn't have a close friend around him.
If you don't have any hobbies to distract yourself, you will feel that the time you stay is very long and difficult, and you will feel extremely lonely and lonely after a long time.
In addition, with the development of the Internet nowadays, the Internet has become a good way for people to pass the time of boredom. There are many dating apps on the Internet, and there are many boring people who like to shake the people nearby when they are idle, and it is easy to have accidents when they come and go.
In addition, accompanying mothers often do not have extra energy to make money, so they have no economic initiative at all, and they are usually troubled by various trivial matters at home, and their psychology is extremely in need of release and love.
Although they are forced to stay at home all day, they still have a desperate desire for the outside world.
At this time, if a man appears by her side, even if it is just a simple greeting to her, her heart will be easily moved.
Of course, there is another reason for the high cheating rate of accompanying mothers, because their husbands are not by their side, their physiology and psychology are not satisfied, and they are extremely lacking in emotional value.
In fact, children's education cannot just rely on the wishful thinking of parents, and whether or not to accompany them depends on the situation.
Not all children are suitable for schooling, and learning is not the only way for children to succeed.
For those parents who have to accompany their parents, the husband should give his wife enough love and respect, after all, it is not easy for you to make money at work, and it is not easy for her to accompany her when she goes out to study.
Husband and wife still need to understand each other, after all, a healthy family can raise a healthy child.
Reference: CNKI "Taking Children as a Business: The Love and Pain of Accompanying Mothers in the County" Han Jingjie