Growing up, every child encounters various setbacks and difficulties. And as parents, it's our responsibility to help them through these times and make them stronger and more confident. However, when it comes to confronting their children, some parents often use the wrong way – just say "no". While this may seem simple and effective, it can actually have a range of negative effects for children. Here are five things to do and don't say "no" to your child.
First things first: Don't always tell your child what not to do
When a child wants to try something new, we can always feel the excitement and anticipation in their excited eyes. If you interrupt them right away and stop them from trying something new with words like "can't," you could be killing them from exploring, learning, and growing.
Conversely, with proper guidance and supervision, many of the so-called can't things can be safely done. Therefore, when educating your child, keep an open mind and give them enough trust, support and guidance.
Second thing: Don't deny or ignore your child's ability to express his or her opinion
Everyone has the right to express their own unique and authentic views and opinions. Even if these opinions may not exactly agree with us or may seem ridiculous, it is important to listen to them and think carefully about them in an equal and respectful manner.
If there are often behaviors such as denying, ridiculing or even suppressing other people's opinions and speaking in a family, it is easy to cause other family members to be silent for a long time or be timid to express their own opinions and lack the ability to take the initiative to solve problems.
The third thing: Don't always limit your time
Time is precious to most families. Therefore, the concept of "time" has been deeply rooted in people's hearts and has been widely used in various fields in daily life. For example, slogans such as "I don't have time" and "Don't waste my time" have become commonplace.
However, in some cases, regardless of urgency, it is difficult to gain a deeper understanding of the deliberate emphasis on time constraints that cut off many avenues that could otherwise lead to in-depth communication or inquiry, and to accelerate the pace of progress. Especially in family education, if you only focus on completing tasks and improving efficiency, but ignore the aspects of coexistence and interaction with relatives and friends and establishing good relationships, it is easy to produce a sense of indifference or even alienation.
Fourth thing: Don't rely solely on external rewards
When we evaluate a person, we usually need to evaluate them based on the results they have made. However, if you set all your goals to obtain external rewards (e.g., money, fame), you may lose your internal motivation.
If the pursuit of external rewards is excessive, it is easy to make it have a collective effect. Moreover, if the pursuit of money, fame and fortune is more important than moral character, it will lead to the deterioration of the social atmosphere.
Conversely, by encouraging internal motors (e.g., curiosity, independent thinking), we can help develop a high level of competition with solid core values.
One last piece of advice: When you must use "NO", pay attention to the method:
It's a big deal as a parental role model. Therefore, when it is necessary to use NO, pay attention to its methods and methods, ensure that the whole communication process is full of positive insight energy, and clearly guide the communication to create a positive image.