Text | The wind stops at night
Original · Plagiarism must be investigated
The pillow person, in just 3 words, has identified the following in the hearts of countless people as a matter of course for the relationship:
1: Between the people next to the pillow, the distance between the hearts is the closest, and they are the closest people in the world;
2: People who share joys and sorrows, support each other, and achieve each other;
3: It is a person who reproduces offspring for society in a broad sense and nurtures love in a narrow sense;
4: It is a person whose heart is in one place, who uses his strength in one place, who does not deceive, does not use, and does not harm!
However, people's subjective determination is really ridiculous in the face of reality and then human nature!
Go deep into the relationship between the people next to the pillow, especially the current relationship between the people next to the pillow, you will find that no matter how sworn the people are, there are obvious traces of the self-interest of the majority and the altruism of the minority!
Moreover, even a small number of altruism cannot escape the final self-interested investment truth!
The essence of the relationship between the people next to the pillow, the dirty and realistic human nature:
1: If you see human nature clearly, you will no longer be the person who blindly "works hard and complains".
The relationship between the people next to the pillow is also inseparable from the reality of value exchange!
In just one sentence, it seems to be a deliberate sharp weapon, which pierces human nature, but in fact, it is the most real relationship between people next to the pillow!
There are always people who say that as long as the people next to the pillow do not touch the principle and the bottom line, they can be healthy and happy!
However, if you look closely, you will find that too many of the final separation or mutual consumptive injuries between the pillow people in real life come from some seemingly trivial things!
And these little things are all the equality of value exchange and the psychological imbalance caused by it!
The people next to each other are trying to use their own ways to exchange the chips in their hands for the things in the other party's hands.
This exchange may be material or spiritual, but in any case, it reveals the realistic side of human nature.
Therefore, the imbalance that cannot be exchanged has caused all the chicken feathers!
Don't say "I work hard", in fact, behind the hard work is expectation! Expectation is the trend of value and the need that arises!
Seeing these facts, you will no longer be troubled by why, why, and how!
2: The value exchange between the people next to the pillow is often toxic "emotional manipulation"
For the needs and expectations of some people, it is a naked emotional manipulation, which is unacceptable and morally recognized!
So much so that when some people want to use each other's emotional weaknesses to achieve their own goals, they will push their marriage to the point of precariousness! Like what:
Some people will make the other person feel guilty by creating quarrels and indifference, so as to force the other person to meet their own requirements and be unconditional.
This kind of emotional manipulation will not only make the victim feel miserable, but also gradually shatter the foundation of trust between husband and wife.
Between the pillow people, some value exchanges are positive and equal, and sometimes they are accompanied by negative demands for selfishness.
In short, no matter how the form of value exchange between the pillow people changes, it cannot change its true essence is the reality manifestation of human nature!
The relationship that is not pictured does not exist, and the obvious relationship is between the people next to the pillow!
When people fail to face up to the needs and desires of humanity and reality, they will fall into endless contradictions and struggles.
No one will really give without any intention because of the word "love", and no one will really tolerate all the flaws of the other party because of a single "emotional" component!
The relationship between pillow people who keep saying that they are equal, in fact, when you dig deeper, there is no equality at all!
It's just that who is more willing to stand in the perspective of gratitude and contentment, and do less care! However, this does not mean that the exchange of value can be omitted entirely!
When less care becomes a big deal because of the increase in the imbalance of psychological superposition, once the contradiction between the pillow people breaks out, it is "irreversible"!
Therefore, we will see that between the pillow people who fail in the value exchange, they will be verbal and cold and violent, betrayal, and their marriage will not be guaranteed!
So, in the face of the dirty and realistic relationship between the people next to the pillow, how should we allow ourselves to accept such a reality to avoid consumption and backlash?
1: Have the ability to be independent and find your own sense of value;
2: Learn to express yourself and listen carefully, and stick to your own reasonable bottom line and principles, and do not be a hypocritical and generous person;
3: Keep a clear head at all times, and don't take it for granted that the emotional component is defined;
4: Look at the relationship from human nature, look at people's hearts from reality, and don't paint cakes for yourself!
If you do this, you won't feel that the relationship between the people next to you is difficult to manage!
Love is the purgatory of people in the world. Whether it's love or friendship, the right time and the right person can achieve positive results!
About the Author:
He is a high-quality author in the field of emotion, a professional counselor, and has provided valuable and meaningful help to many counselors. I have rich experience in marriage, relationships, interpersonal relationships, etc., if you have any emotional confusion, please feel free to consult me.
Topic discussion: Can you see and accept the reality of the person next to you? Let's talk about it in the comment section.