Novel serialization (19) "Open the Iron Door: The Sun Strands" (author Liu Ling)

When she heard the first cone cry, she didn't have the joy of being a mother at all. She really didn't want to cry about it, so she just endured it silently. If it hadn't been for someone else, she probably really intended to carry out this silence to the end, like the slogan that most people are familiar with. Both of them became more ascetic. The plane fell in Öndörkhan, and immediately exploded and burned, and the figures were charred in the flames. She ran to the southern jujube grove outside the village and threw herself on the humus soil and fallen leaves, crying as if she had been holding back for a long time, until she was hoarse from crying, and even had the idea of strangling the mentally handicapped boy to death for the first time.

When she grabbed her husband, she used her fingernails to scratch blood on her thighs, inner thighs, arms, wrists, and even her belly. She gritted her jaw bone with her teeth, holding back her squeak. She didn't want to give up on herself, and she didn't want to end her life easily. A voice shouted to her, a different way of living.

I said, "It's weird, she never regretted it." ”

"I don't understand, but regret that you find it useful? Maybe they weren't born careerists. At least she's not! ”

Undoubtedly, he is not the kind of person who likes to play with intrigue.

"We have to change our way of living."

"Times have become strange to her."

"He would have been more surprised if he had a chance to come out alive."

"Why do you always like to jump from one extreme to the other, it has become a kind of return to the past life."

"Force yourself to admit your mistakes."

"The original way of living also has historical value."

She said to Zhu Yun many times, I still don't want to listen to any advice from you. Little cub, you are a little cub, the milk stinks and has not dried, you don't understand it at all. He complained about her many times, and she sneered at Zhu Yun and warned him, don't think that it was a big deal to die once. She died the same way, and twice.

She grabbed a vase on the table casually, smashed it on the ground, and wanted to hit him, almost breaking the teacup that Zhu Yungang was holding in his hand. Unfazed, he stood up and slapped the water and tea leaves on his body. Zhu Yun suddenly reached out and grabbed her two wrists, dragged her over and kissed her on the mouth. Then he pretended to rape her. Finally quieted her.

They are equally enthusiastic about this approach and like a little more exciting.

It's endless, it's almost a turn. He said:

"Looks like I have to go."

"I'm afraid I can't control myself and I'll kill people."

"After a while, your husband will come back, and I can't leave."

He's still a cub, and he can't even please women.

"You should have been gentle." She said.

"But you're more like my mom."

Zhu Yun had always hoped to have a mother.

"Haha, mother-lover complex."

She begged Zhu Yun and begged him not to go.

"I just want to get away from you, the farther away the better."

He will not come back and go with his parents. Probably won't be back until next Friday. Every once in a while, he would go to Guangxi alone to see them. She guessed that her husband was arguing with them. After he was released from prison, he lost his job.

"His dad had lung cancer and was dying."

"I want to stay with you for no use." Zhu Yun said.

Zhu Yun slept on the sofa and let her sleep in the bed. However, in the middle of the night, Zhu Yun still touched the bed from the sofa to sleep. The bedroom door wasn't closed at all, and neither of them slept that night. The two of them continued to perform a rape drama about each other. Zhu Yun stayed at her house for four days, and the two went downstairs to eat and then went home to have sex. On Wednesday morning, she said to Zhu Yun:

"You should go, he'll train back in the evening."

"Why do you have to be my turn, you clearly told me that you and him have long been married to each other."

"Not really. But he will still turn against you, not only because of his self-esteem, but also because of his pain. She said.

Zhu Yun said: "I won't laugh at him. ”

"Aren't you looking for a job?" She said, "Then it's better to go to work in my small restaurant on Chuiguan Hua South Road!" ”

As if he had to obey the arrangement, he had no choice. Zhu Yun worked as a handyman in the hotel. That's all he could do, and after about two years, he felt like he had really become a third party. Zhu Yun felt that there was no meaning, so he said goodbye. But after many years, he still can't forget this middle-aged woman who taught him to have sex. Every time he thinks about her, Zhu Yun will be very warm. He may have burst into tears in an instant.

To be honest, this is all I know about the love of Zhu Yun's boyhood. I was inexplicably flustered. Back then, in their room in the courtyard, Ding Ke and I listened to Zhu Yun's story, and our bodies spasmed. From this and that, we probably thought that it was difficult for us to predict the future. Is this situation between me and Dink considered love? Zhu Yun suddenly woke up from his past and returned to reality.

However, the strange atmosphere will not be able to change for a while. Everyone in the room stared into the distance, and behind the thick fog, there were distant, rolling mountains. Including the past and the future, everyone can only turn a blind eye to escape from reality.

Zhu Yun told me that many people actually came to the small restaurant to find his sister at that time. One person even said that he loved her very much. He also cried in front of many people in the restaurant

"I really love you." He said drunk.

The people who came to find him were men and women. It seems that they all returned to the city in batches from some distant place.

I couldn't help but ask, "What are those guys?" ”

"I never wanted to ask!" Zhu Yun said.

They developed an unbreakable bond with the Educated Youth or when they went to Vietnam to help the guerrillas and the Viet Cong. When those people came all the way to the hotel, they immediately and immediately became confused, some crying, some laughing, and most of them were drunk. Everyone is like crazy, and most of the women smoke and spit smoke rings. The gang made such a fuss that they almost alarmed the police station. There is no doubt that all of them are intellectuals, a few of them are studying in college or have graduated, and many of their comrades-in-arms have joined the Viet Cong guerrillas. They have fought and Zhu Yun is not clear. I imagined what would become of this group of people when they grew old one day? If their generation had a strong conviction, then I would be cold to stay here.

"I can't imagine the future." Zhu Yun said cautiously.

They are actually the same generation, and there is no generation gap.

"The story is intricate from the beginning to the end of us." I said, "And then to the back, it should be a new generation, and in fact, no one can hide from it." It's just that there is still a fundamental difference between us and them, they are willing. And we are forced to come to labor camps! ”

"Voluntary? Haha, may the dream come true. ”

A third person in the room chimed in, don't just leave a few cold black and white photos. I was very surprised by that. I kept squinting my little eyes and looking at them from afar through the glass lenses. Real life was in my confusion, letting the hot wind blow through and carrying away the smell of blood, leaving perhaps only scars on our naked bodies.

"But it really doesn't matter." I said to Zhu Yun.

Because as long as everyone is still alive and not dead, time will go on. "Our dreams keep going." Although, reality deceives everyone. "It's not a scam at all, and life is completely different for every generation."

Fortunately, those who came to the hotel to cry and toss those people got married almost half of the time early. With their families and their children, it is not just a simple dream, but also a drag and a stumbling block. She kept explaining to Zhu Yun that they just hoped that they could rely on each other in that bad environment. "The pressure on all of them is estimated to be too great." She cried quietly and told Zhu Yun the truth.

Of course, people don't actually want to believe it. She would also prefer not to believe in the tragic end that followed, even if she deceived herself. "It's not bad to pretend not to believe."

For salvation, pull a hand and save your soul that is about to sink into the swamp. "My generation has had a lot of bad fate." She said. In fact, actually doing it, letting the soul get bailed, I'm afraid it was never just an illusion for them.

"I live like the walking dead myself."

She grabbed Zhu Yun's fingers in the middle of the night, sweating all over, babbling nonsense, and even, her fingernails pinched the skin on the back of Zhu Yun's hand. Sometimes she thinks of him as her own grown son, and suddenly falls into some kind of madness, despair, and self-blame. At that time, many students in the courtyard also had this problem, and the causes were different.

They rely on chaotic and unorthodox venting, pretending, or reluctantly, relieving their own pressure. Adopt a variety of techniques and behave strangely. I can't help but think of the young man in the fairy tale who tore live birds and sometimes swallowed goldfish. His cheeks were blue and his body was like chaff. The lights of the fence shone on the faces of the students walking in the large playground, and I also noticed the blue color of the corpses, and the cold spots of light were jumping gently and in a trance.

I could only hold my breath desperately, and when I walked, it was almost as light as the wind. We live in this courtyard house that is close to madness, and if her son is not mentally retarded, then in what direction will her love life develop? I can't make an accurate judgment as to which way the scales can be tilted! Zhu Yun and I prefer to believe that God's arrangement may be mysterious, and when the law code is shelved, the ending will be different. It is indeed better to comfort each other. She has a big picture, and he is also a little kind. It immediately reminded me of the time I was eight years old, on July 21, when I read from "Today in History" that I had been hit by a bullet in my left chest.

"Enough." I almost screamed.

Sow madness or sheep epilepsy, also known as epilepsy, may also have intermittent seizures. I don't know how to cope. (From the street where the cannon was fired from time to time, the chaos, the complete chaos of the square in front of the black building, I ran home out of breath.) Fleeing the scene, I was left alone. My parents were walking around a corner of the city and setting up ambushes. They were trapped in the night with red medallions and Nasser badges, perhaps behind barricades. They devoted themselves to guarding the headquarters of the rebels, and at the same time guarding the victorious fruits of the revolution. They are preventing the opposition from attacking, preventing the class enemy from sabotage, and resolutely arresting all the bad guys, or ordering them to evacuate and send them to the countryside. Avoid the crowd from letting stray bullets kill them and streak corpses on the streets). I didn't dare to think about these complicated things, and I probably couldn't have imagined that wide at the time, given my age.