Hello everyone, I am the family education instructor Guo Ma~
A girl in her 30s in the neighborhood is divorced, because she looks good, her family conditions are okay, and she only brings a daughter, so there are not a few people who come to kiss.
Then, the girl looked at each other for more than a dozen, and none of them were satisfied.
Many people have gone from "helping to talk about matchmaking" to "not getting used to it", thinking that a second-married woman, what is there to be so picky?
As everyone knows, the reason why she divorced was because she was fed up with her ex-husband's family.
The ex-husband's family was found according to the standards of the past: there is a house and a car, the boy has a good job, and the living conditions are definitely excellent.
However, when I got married, I noticed that my in-laws quarreled when they met, and when they didn't meet, they had their own homes.
Such a native family also makes the son's personality a little strange: while he is unclear with others outside, he does not allow any contact information of the opposite sex in the girl's mobile phone, and on the other hand, he only gives money and ignores the child's growth.
Eventually, the girl got divorced.
She said: "When I sit in a BMW, I cry, why don't I become the one who buys a BMW?" ”
Therefore, even if she is no longer married, she is not willing to compromise.
The family has a daughter looking for a partner: the garage is no longer a measure, and the in-laws can only marry if they have these 3 things
If there is a daughter in the family, there is generally a premise for marriage, that is: there is a car and a house.
In fact, it is not difficult to understand that such a standard can at least ensure the quality of life of her daughter.
However, in terms of the current social situation, although cars and houses are also important, they are no longer the standard.
Because, today's people no longer only pursue the material level, but also the spiritual level.
The in-laws have these 3 things, and the daughter can really live comfortably when she marries.
Number one: Boys have a sense of responsibility
I saw a sharper but true comment on the Internet: Most of the families who lived in poverty and dogs in those days were because of an incompetent father.
If a man cannot become the breadwinner of a family, then the family must be in crisis.
Although it is said that such comments weaken a mother, it is undeniable that marrying such a man with no sense of responsibility, no matter how powerful and strong a woman is, she will be very tired.
Underneath this review, there is one more comment.
In the opinion of this netizen, if you don't talk about learning a craft, you can save money if you keep doing it, and you can save money over the years.
In the final analysis, it is actually whether a man has a sense of responsibility or not.
A responsible man will find a way to create better material conditions for the family;
A responsible man will be considerate of his wife and take care of his children, rather than thinking that everything else is his wife's business except making money;
A responsible man will protect his family!
So, when you find that a man has no sense of responsibility and no pity for you, let's find a new one!
After all, marriage is for two people to have a better life and support each other, not to be a nanny or a punching bag.
The second thing: a good family of origin
Austrian psychologist Adler: Happy people use childhood to heal their whole life, and unhappy people use their whole life to heal their childhood.
This is to say that the influence of a family of origin on a person is very great.
Case in point: patriarchy.
My friend Xiaomin is an only child, married to another place, and everyone over there has several children, and most importantly, they have a patriarchal preference there.
So when Xiaomin gave birth to 2 daughters in a row, and her in-laws and husband urged her to have three children and give birth to a son, she directly said: "Either life continues like this, or I will take my two daughters back to my parents' house." ”
Unexpectedly, her husband directly slapped her: "How can you talk to my parents?" Do you think you're going to give birth? ”
In the end, they got divorced.
Wu Zhihong once said: Filial piety and the preference for sons and daughters, which are inseparable from filial piety, eventually became the root of almost all common pathological psychology.
And isn't this filial piety and patriarchy also given by the original family?
A good family of origin, good parents' feelings, a good family growth environment, and a relaxed education for children, so that children's psychology and character are very healthy.
However, in a bad original family, the child will have a different unresolved knot of the original family, and this knot may bring endless shadows to the new family.
So, getting married is really not a matter of two people, but of two families.
The third thing: three positive views, good family style
As the saying goes: the upper beam is not correct and the lower beam is crooked.
So what is the so-called three views and family style?
Loyalty, self-discipline, sincerity, diligence and thrift, filial piety, etc., all belong to the family style, and this word and deed are imperceptibly teaching children to keep moving forward.
We all know the story of "Yue Fei Jingzhong Serving the Country", but before Yue Fei Jingzhong served the country, there was a "mother-in-law tattoo".
This is the influence of a mother's three views on Yue Fei's family style.
In life, such examples abound.
There was a matchmaker who said goodbye to his cousin before, and the boy was good-looking and also had a craft. Originally, I thought it was a godsend, but as soon as I inquired, I gave up.
Because, this boy's father and uncle are all "three hands", but the rural people have no monitoring, and what they lost is not important, so they are all gone.
Later, I heard that this boy went in because he stole fish from someone's fish pond and sold them for money, and was photographed by surveillance. At the time of his arrest, he was still selling fish on the street.
Therefore, before getting married, you must have some contact with the boy's family, and it is best to get to know the other person's family.
Many times after marriage, the source of contradictions is left by the three views and family style.
Written at the end of the article
Before getting married, whether the daughter is doing well depends on how the original family is;
After getting married, whether the daughter is doing well depends on whether the in-laws and husband are doing well.
Therefore, parents must let their daughters take care of it, not praying that their daughters will be rich and wealthy in the future, but praying for peace and happiness!
PS: The picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted!