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#长文创作激励计划#许多人认为, if a man takes the initiative to do housework in the family, it is a sign of caring for his wife.
However, a social research institute in Norway has come to a conclusion that subverts common sense: the more housework a man does, the easier it is to get divorced!
More than 20,000 married men were selected as a sample for statistical survey. The results found that in all age groups of 20~80 years old, boys who are responsible for housework are more likely to choose divorce.
Why is this happening? Why is it not conducive to the continuation of the marriage that does housework often?
took on housework, but was disgusted by his wife
Xiao Wang told her best friend that she has been getting more and more tired of her husband recently.
Xiao Wang herself is a working woman working in Beijing and just got married the year before last. My best friend was very surprised when she heard that she was "bored" with her husband, because the man who married Xiao Wang was recognized as a "good man" by everyone around her.
Everyone knows that Xiao Wang's husband was loyal to Xiao Wang before he got married, and after marriage, he took care of the housework of the family. From buying a new house to decorating, he never asked Xiao Wang to do any work.
Even after the two got married, all the meals at home were made by Xiao Wang's husband, and Xiao Wang was at home, which can be described as "ten fingers do not touch the spring water".
It's too late for the people around her to envy her, why did Xiao Wang start to dislike her husband?
Xiao Wang said bluntly: "I don't think he's self-motivated." ”
It turned out that although she was taken care of by her husband in life, she couldn't make money at work. Seeing that other people's husbands are busy with their careers and making a lot of money every day, she looks down on her husband more and more.
When my girlfriend heard about it, I didn't know what to say.
In fact, whether it is in the traditional women doing housework or the now popular men doing housework, in the family, the people who are responsible for housework are often the most easily ignored.
In modern society, work is stressful, but the salary is pitiful. For ordinary workers, housework and career can often only choose one or the other, and it is impossible and unrealistic to take care of both.
In this case, both men and women who focus on housework often mean being disconnected from their professional life and from the workplace society. But such a person often waits for the "dislike" of the other half.
In fact, from the perspective of Xiao Wang's husband, perhaps he chose to take the initiative in housework, not necessarily out of a sense of responsibility, and even a helpless choice, or an evasion.
The sense of responsibility in the family is not necessarily reflected in the housework alone. It is also possible that the man who chooses to take on the housework is out of a "escape mentality".
Going out to work and making money is not necessarily easier or better than housework. On the other hand, men who choose to do housework at home may also be trying to avoid family responsibilities.
In addition, if the husband in the family chooses to take on the housework, and the wife has the absolute right to speak in the economy, the wife may "look down" on her husband and feel that he is "unproductive".
In fact, not only in modern times, but also in ancient times, men who chose to "get rich" often had to bear the cold eyes of their wives and mothers' families after marriage, and they couldn't hold their heads up at home.
But everyone has self-esteem, and self-esteem has been hit, so how can we talk about happiness in married life?
Men should not do housework
So, should we maintain the traditional idea that men shouldn't do housework?
Actually, not really.
In modern society, both men and women are pursuing their own careers. In today's workplace, it is no longer only men who can get jobs, but women also have an indispensable social responsibility.
After starting a family, it is inevitable that the marriage couple will face another problem: family responsibility.
In the traditional family model, who is responsible for making money? Who is in charge of the housework? This becomes the core issue of family responsibility.
This problem had to be solved, so in the traditional family model, the man with better physical strength was basically responsible for earning money to support the family, while the woman was responsible for washing and cooking.
However, in modern society, mental work is gradually replacing physical labor and becoming the mainstream of people's work. The traditional family model of "men work, women take care of the family" is also gradually being impacted.
In modern society, we can see more women running between high-rise buildings and leaning over computers; You can also see more men in aprons and busy in front of the stove.
Is this a good thing for society? I think so.
There is no doubt that this is a kind of progress at the social level: the division of labor in society is no longer based on gender, but is gradually becoming pluralistic and liberalized.
But at the same time, the new social structure brings with it new challenges. Especially for ordinary families, the division of housework seems to be a trivial matter, but to a large extent, it affects the happiness and harmony of family relationships.
For example, a province in mainland China released a set of survey data. The data shows that among all the factors in the family, the trivial matters of life have become the most important cause of family breakdown.
And housework is undoubtedly an important part of the "trivial things in life". How to do housework and who will do it is a topic that every ordinary family can't avoid.
As we all know, South Korea's suicide rate is among the highest in the world all year round, and the suicide rate of Korean women is the highest in the world. According to a study by Yonsei University in South Korea, the structure of housework distribution in South Korea accounts for a large part of the reason.
According to a research group at Yonsei University, nearly twice as many women who commit suicide are "dissatisfied with the distribution of household chores" than satisfied. Clearly, the impact of housework on their mental health is enormous.
And in our other neighbouring country, Japan, the impact of housework on marital relationships is also reflected in another way.
There are two figures for married women in Japan: one is the proportion of "housewives" who are fully responsible for housework, but the proportion of cheating women.
Compared with suicide in South Korea, Japanese housewives are more likely to choose cheating under the pressure of housework.
As a result of gender swapping, married men have higher suicide and cheating rates in countries with a higher proportion of "househusbands". This logic also explains the results of the Norwegian Institute at the beginning of the article.
Why are men who do a lot of housework more likely to cheat? It's because of the pressure of doing housework, that is, it's easier for people to cheat.
But at home, housework can't always be done by no one, so who should do the housework?
epilogue
As the saying goes, "it is difficult for a clean official to cut off family affairs". In fact, the distribution of household chores, like other jobs in society, should not be determined solely by gender.
The happiness of a family needs to be built by two people working together.
In the family, housework is a responsibility that every member of the family cannot escape and should not be a burden for one person.
In the face of housework, the husband and wife can reasonably distribute it according to their own situation, which is the best way to achieve family happiness.