Hello everyone, I'm Inspector~
Although the saying "children avoid their mothers, and daughters avoid their fathers" has been circulating for a long time, many parents don't seem to care.
After all, it is the child who has been brought up by himself, and he has formed a habit of taking care of him since he was a child, so some small things and details in life are always easy to ignore.
A friend of mine is a full-time mother, and since the child was 3 months old, she quit her job to concentrate on taking care of her son, so the relationship between mother and son is particularly deep and close.
Now, her son is 16 years old and has grown into a taller boy than his mother, but their mother-son relationship has been questioned by those around him.
Once she went to pick up her son from school, it happened to be her son's birthday, she held flowers at the school gate and waited for her son, after the son saw his mother, he rushed over happily, and naturally hugged and kissed his mother, the two of them were very intimate.
Another time, a few of us mothers stood together to chat about the experience of taking care of children for so many years, and she said to us with a little pride:
"My son can't take a bath by himself, he needs my help to rub his back, he is mainly used to me next to him to flush water and rub bubbles, so, this habit can't be changed, no, yesterday, he took a shower out of the bedroom door, ran to the living room and asked me to dry his body and help him dress."
Hearing her words, several of us looked at each other and were speechless.
Although no matter how old a child is, he is still a child in the eyes of his parents.
However, after all, the child is an independent individual, he will grow up, and he will have his own independent space and sense of autonomy. If we always treat him as a child and are reluctant to let go, then the child is likely to become a "giant baby", without the ability to be independent, and social, marriage and work will be affected.
The bottomless mother-son relationship, who is ruined?
We need to recognize that as children grow older, the intimate behavior between parents and children should follow a certain "scale" and "bottom line", otherwise it will not only affect the physical and mental health of children, but also hinder their future life and career.
Excessive intimacy between mother and child may make children too dependent on their mothers or others, which can easily have a negative impact on children's physical and mental health, and should be highly valued.
As each child grows up, they need to establish independent individual boundaries, which is conducive to the formation of a healthy sense of self and personality.
And for children who have already reached puberty:
Excessive intimacy can disrupt the boundaries they are building, which can affect self-perception and gender role formation.
In addition, intimate behavior may also cause psychological burden and distress to children, and even cause physical problems such as precocious puberty, which seriously affects their healthy growth.
Therefore, parents should respect their children's individual differences and appropriately control the "scale" of intimate behavior.
The act of mother-child intimacy can disrupt the normal boundaries of family relationships and cause discomfort and conflict between members.
Intimate behavior between family members should be based on mutual respect and trust.
However, for children who have grown up, if parents still kiss and sleep with them too often, it may cause discomfort and even conflict in the relationship for other family members.
This is not conducive to maintaining a harmonious relationship with the whole family.
We should be aware that as children grow, the division of roles and interactions in family relationships should change accordingly to ensure that the boundaries between family members are properly maintained.
appropriate control of intimate behavior;
In fact, it is more conducive to cultivating children's independence and self-management awareness.
After entering puberty;
Children are facing a critical transition from childhood to adulthood, and they need to gradually learn to live independently and manage themselves.
However, if parents continue to maintain an overly intimate way of interacting and are reluctant to let go, it will hinder the development of children's independence.
Therefore, we should take the initiative to give children more personal space and autonomy, and guide them to build a sense of self-management, so as to lay the foundation for independent living in the future.
For children, parental intimacy is acceptable.
However, as children grow up, enter adolescence and adulthood, if parents still maintain an overly intimate way of interacting, it may be considered as a violation of social morality.
This may not only cause moral judgment from others, but also have a negative impact on the child's future social interactions.
Hot Mom Quotes:
Although children are the treasure in the hands of parents, we must also grasp the "distance" and "scale" of getting along with children at different stages of growth.
We should slowly take the initiative to adjust the intimate distance between ourselves and our children, set a good example for our children, let them establish the correct three views, and establish a sense of self-management and the ability to live independently.
I hope that every child can grow up to be a confident, sunny and yearning person.
Parents, what do you think about this?
(Picture from the Internet)