Spring in Zhejiang always comes exceptionally early. The March sun gently shone on the streets, and the sea breeze carried the salty and wet smell of the coastal city. I stood on the balcony and looked at the bustling crowd downstairs, feeling a little satisfied.
"Mom, I'm done with my homework, you can check it." My daughter's crisp voice came from behind me, interrupting my thoughts.
I turned around and smiled and said, "Okay, baby, show Mommy." ”
This is my life, ordinary and happy. I am 45 years old this year, and I have walked hand in hand with my husband Xiao Zhang for 20 years. We have a pair of lovely children, the eldest daughter is 12 years old this year, and the younger son has just turned 8 years old. Although life is not rich, we still live a warm and happy life.
However, on this seemingly ordinary afternoon, a phone call completely shattered the peace.
"Hey, little sister." The big brother's heavy voice came from the other end of the phone, "Dad, he... Critically ill. ”
I froze in place, my phone almost slipping. "What? How so? I asked, trembling.
The eldest brother sighed, "I had a sudden cerebral hemorrhage two days ago, and now I am in the hospital." The doctor said... The situation is not so rosy. Can you come back soon? ”
After hanging up, I sat down on the couch as if I had been drained of all my strength. The kind face of my father came to mind, and I remembered the phone call he had made last month.
"Girl, can you come back for the Chinese New Year this year? Daddy misses you. Father's voice was full of anticipation.
But because of my busy work and financial pressure, I politely declined my father's invitation. "Dad, I've been so busy this year that I may not be able to go back. I'll take the kids back to see you when I have time. ”
Looking back now, remorse and guilt came flooding in and almost overwhelmed me. How could I miss the opportunity to be with my father for those trivial reasons?
Holding back tears, I immediately called the leader to ask for leave. "Manager Zhang, my father suddenly fell seriously ill, and I need to go back to my hometown immediately. The kids have to come with me, too, and they may need to take a week or so off. ”
The leader heard the choking in my voice and was very considerate: "Don't worry, things at home are important." If there is anything you need help with, just say. ”
After hanging up, I hurriedly packed my bags and woke up the children who were taking a nap. "Baby, we're going back to Grandpa's house, hurry up and pack up."
"Why do you want to go back all of a sudden, Mom?" The daughter asked, rubbing her sleepy eyes.
Fighting back my tears, I whispered, "Grandpa is sick, we have to go see him." ”
After packing up, we set out on our way home. Sitting on the high-speed train, I looked out the window at the scenery flying by, and my heart was full of mixed emotions. Regret, worry, fear, all kinds of emotions are intertwined, and I can't breathe.
I closed my eyes and tried to remember my father's voice and smile. He was always so kind, even when we children were unfilial, he never complained. Thinking of this, I couldn't control my emotions anymore, and tears flowed silently.
"Mom, why are you crying?" The son's concerned voice came.
I wiped my tears and smiled reluctantly, "It's okay, Mom just remembered something." Sleep a little longer, and I'll call you when the time comes. ”
The train continued to move forward, carrying my heart and my father's thoughts to that hometown that I cared about. I secretly prayed that I could see my father at the last minute, even if it was just to say "I'm sorry" and "I love you."
By the time we arrived at the hospital, it was too late. My father lay peacefully on the hospital bed, as if he had just fallen asleep. I stood on the edge of the bed, tears blurring my vision, my heart filled with remorse and pain. Why didn't I come back sooner? Why didn't I cherish the last chance to get along?
The smell of disinfectant water filled the room, mixed with a sad atmosphere, which made people breathless. The eldest brother stood by the window, bowing his head and sobbing; The eldest sister sat on the chair at the end of the bed, crying silently; The mother sat beside his father, holding his cold hand tightly. My brother is still on his way.
A heavy atmosphere enveloped us, and no one spoke. Suddenly, the mother broke the silence.
"We have to handle the funeral," her voice was a little hoarse, "Xiaofang, Xiaolan, you guys should pay 30,000 yuan each." ”
My eldest sister and I looked at each other, both a little surprised. $30,000 is not a small amount for us, especially at a time when the economic pressure is so great. I was about to speak, but my eldest sister spoke first.
"Mom, is that too much? At home..."
Her mother interrupted her, "Your father has been diligent all his life, and he will have a good scenery when he leaves." Besides, aren't you all working people now? ”
I bit my lip, feeling very uncomfortable. While we do have jobs, we don't have a lot of money. The education expenses, mortgage, and daily expenses of our two children have stretched us to the limit. I'm afraid that the 30,000 yuan will have to use our savings.
However, looking at my father's serene face, I knew I couldn't refuse. "Okay, Mom. I'll figure it out. I whispered, and the eldest sister nodded helplessly.
The mother didn't seem to be very satisfied with our reaction, and snorted coldly, "You children, you are really unfilial. As soon as your dad left, he started to think about money. ”
This sentence was like a knife that pierced my heart fiercely. I can't help but think back to the memories of my childhood. At that time, although the family was not wealthy, my mother always favored her younger brother. I vividly remember that when I was admitted to high school, my mother said that the family had no money to continue my education.
"Why do girls read so many books? It is only serious to go out to work early and save for my brother's tuition. Mother's words still ring in my ears today.
In this way, I had to drop out of school, while my younger brother made it all the way to college. Even after I got married, my mother still asked us for financial support from time to time. Every time we disobey, we will be accused of unfilial piety.
These memories flooded back, and I felt a wave of sadness and injustice. However, looking at my father lying there, I couldn't bear to argue about anything at this time. My father was industrious and simple all his life, and he never complained about anything, and I couldn't let him go uneasy.
"Mom, don't be angry. Xiaofang and I will figure it out. The eldest sister comforted softly, she always knows how to take care of her mother's emotions better than me.
I took a deep breath, swallowed the bitterness in my heart, and said, "Yes, Mom." Don't worry, we'll take care of Daddy's funeral. ”
The mother's expression softened a little. She gently stroked her father's hand and whispered, "You see, the children are very filial. You can go with confidence. ”
Looking at my mother's rickety back, I suddenly realized that she was also expressing her grief in her own way. Perhaps, in her concept, a solemn funeral is the last respect for her father. Although I don't agree with her approach, I understand her intentions.
At this moment, the younger brother hurried in. Panting, he pushed open the door, and the moment he saw his father, tears instantly welled up in his eyes. "Dad—" he choked and knelt beside the bed.
The mother immediately turned to her brother and comforted her softly, "Don't cry, your father is walking peacefully." Her tone was so gentle that I was a little jealous. Even at such times, the mother's preference for her younger brother is still so obvious.
My eldest sister and I looked at each other silently, and we both saw the helplessness and relief in each other's eyes. Over the years, we have become accustomed to this kind of discrimination. Now, we are more concerned about how to make my father walk decently.
The eldest brother came over at this time and gently patted me and the eldest sister on the shoulders. "Don't worry," he whispered, "Daddy's funeral, we'll all bear it together." ”
Hearing the words of my eldest brother, I felt a touch of warmth. At least in this family, there are people who understand our situation. I nodded, trying to squeeze out a smile.
In the days that followed, we were busy with funerals. Although I was still a little reluctant in my heart, I still tried my best to cooperate. Whenever I look at my father's posthumous photo, I tell myself to be strong. My father devoted his life to his duties and never complained about the hardships of life. Now, it's our turn to repay him for his efforts.
Although family conflicts still exist, at this special moment, we still put aside our differences for the time being and completed this final goodbye together. I knew that this might be my father's last wish—to see us live together and work together.
With this in mind, I tried to calm my inner turmoil and focus on the matter at hand. After all, no matter what happened in the past, the most important thing now is to let my father walk peacefully and with dignity, which is the last thing I can do for him as a daughter.
On the evening of the funeral, I sat alone on a stone bench in the courtyard of my hometown, looking at the sunset on the horizon. The spring wind still carried a little coolness, blowing away some of the sorrow in my heart. The old pear tree planted by his father in the yard was full of white flowers, and the petals fell in the wind, as if to see him off.
At this moment, the phone suddenly vibrate. I took it out and saw that it was a bank text message reminder: I received a transfer of 50,000 yuan. I was stunned for a moment, and before I could react to what was going on, my eldest brother's call came in.
"Little sister, have you received the money?" The eldest brother's voice was gentle but firm.
"Rogered, but... What's going on? I asked, a little confused.
The eldest brother sighed, "That's the case, I discussed it with my younger brother and decided to divide the funeral expenses and the gift money of relatives and friends equally. The 50,000 is your share. ”
I didn't know what to say for a while, and a warm current welled up in my heart. "Big brother, this... That's too much. My eldest sister and I only paid 30,000 yuan each, this money..."
"Don't shirk," the eldest brother interrupted me, "you and the eldest sister are already burdened. Besides, how can there be any reason for the daughter's funeral to be paid? ”
Hearing this, I couldn't help but choke. Over the years, it has accumulated to swallow. The grievances and helplessness that have accumulated over the years seem to have found an outlet at this moment. "But... Mom said..."There was a choked sobs in my voice.
"Mom's old notions should have changed," the eldest brother's tone became serious, "although Dad didn't say it, I know he has been feeling guilty all the time. He always feels indebted to you and the eldest sister. "
I was stunned, I never thought my father would think like this. Tears flowed imperceptibly and dripped onto the screen of the phone in his hand.
The eldest brother continued: "Actually, my father often chatted with me in his later years, and he said that what he regretted the most was that he didn't insist that you and your eldest sister continue to study. He said that if he could do it again, he would treat all of you equally. "
Hearing this, I couldn't control my emotions anymore and started crying. The grievances, unwillingness, and loss over the years all turned into tears at this moment. I cried so sadly, as if I wanted to cry out all the negative emotions over the years.
My eldest brother waited quietly on the other end of the phone for me to calm down. After I calmed down a little, he spoke again: "Little sister, Dad is gone, we have to unite even more." I hope that starting with my generation, we will completely abandon the old patriarchal mentality. Your children will be treated equally in the future, just like my own. "
I took a deep breath and tried to stop my voice from trembling, "Thank you, big brother. It's true... Thank you so much. "
"Don't say thank you," the eldest brother's voice softened, "we are family. What difficulties will there be later, just say. "
After hanging up, I sat there for a long time, letting the tears flow silently. The afterglow of the setting sun sprinkled over the courtyard, gilding everything with a layer of gold. It dawned on me that this might be my father's last gift to us – to re-examine our family relationships, to put aside old notions and to get along in a more enlightened and equal way.
I stood up and gently stroked the trunk of the old pear tree. I remember when I was a child, my father used to sit under this tree in his arms. At that time, his eyes were always full of love, without the slightest bias. Perhaps, that is what my father really thinks in his heart. It's just that under the pressure of reality and tradition, he failed to stick to his heart.
Thinking of this, the resentment in my heart gradually dissipated, and was replaced by understanding and pity for my father. I secretly made up my mind that I must cherish the support given by my eldest brother, and strive to create a more equal and harmonious family atmosphere, so that my father's regrets will not be repeated in the next generation.
The spring breeze brings the faint aroma of pear blossoms. I took a deep breath, as if I felt my father's breath. I know that although he is gone, his love has always been there and will continue through us.
When I walked out of the yard, I was surprisingly calm. I felt a sense of hope and strength that I had never felt before. I believe that under the leadership of my eldest brother, our family will become more united and better. This may be my father's last wish, and we will finally fulfill it.
I looked up at the sky, and the sunset was like fire, lighting the way home. I know that no matter how bumpy the road ahead is, as long as we are connected as a family, there is nothing we cannot overcome. Our father's love and teachings will always guide us forward.