Interpersonal relationships, there is always a "close distance", you can't keep the same distance from everyone, for the vast majority of people, in interpersonal interactions, often according to their own likes and dislikes to decide how to get along with people.
This self-centered mode of communication usually follows the law that "the closer the deacat, the farther away the disliker" - for the person we like, we will unconsciously get close, and for the person we hate, of course, the farther away the better.
In the face of someone you hate, you can refuse without hesitation, but if you are very close to the other person, refusal will become a very difficult thing, and you can't even say a word "no". However, the best relationship between people is not getting closer and closer, but two words!
Some people believe that the better the relationship, the closer it should be. In fact, many people act according to this idea when dealing with interpersonal relationships.
For example, when I first went to college, I was very close to a roommate, whether it was personality or hobbies, we had a feeling of seeing each other late, from the beginning of the first sight, to talking about everything, and soon became close friends, eager to stay together all the time.
When it was almost the end of the semester, I wanted to spend more time studying, but my roommate was not so nervous and always pulled me out to play, because the relationship was too good, I was embarrassed to refuse, and when it came to the exam, we both failed in the exam.
But her family background is very good, and she can not care about studying at all, while I am different, if my grades are not good, it may be difficult to find a job after graduation. So from the second semester, I learned to say "no" and keep a certain distance from her, although she didn't understand it at the time, but now, we still have a good relationship.
Just imagine, if I didn't know how to say no at that time, maybe after graduation, it would get worse and worse, and when the level and gap between us became bigger and bigger, the relationship might become weaker and weaker. The relationship between people is not a temporary closeness, which means that such a relationship can always be maintained, so when it is time to say "no", you must resolutely say "no".
No matter how good the relationship between people is, there must be an upper limit, and many people feel that the closer they get along, the relationship will continue to heat up and get better and better. In fact, we can recall that our best friends have not let each other's friendship rise to a higher height because of the passage of time;
Even the love between men and women, from the beginning of the hundred and obedient, to each other know how to say "no" later; From holding hands for the first time to staying together day and night after getting married, although the relationship is getting closer and closer, the heat of the relationship is getting calmer and calmer. That's why there is a saying: plain is true!
The most important thing about getting along with people is not that the relationship is getting better and better, but two words - long-lasting! Just like love, no matter how good the relationship between two people is, it is just a marriage, this is the upper limit, it cannot continue to heat up, and it is impossible to become more and more passionate, so the true meaning of love is how to maintain it for a long time.
In fact, the most important thing in any kind of relationship between people is the word "long-term", and only those who know how to refuse and know how to say "no" can really go to the end. Remember: no matter how good the relationship is, learn to say "no"!