A song of three worship Hongchen Liang once exploded on the Internet, and there were many dances that danced this song, the editor once saw someone comment under this song, in fact, there is nothing wrong with an arranged marriage, it is better than being single all the time, and the arrangement is arranged; Some studies even claim that the divorce rate for arranged marriages is actually similar to the current divorce rate
In contrast, arranged marriages have at least had marriages, and at most they have lost love, and I would like to say that if you really think so, it would be naïve to think that arranged marriages are just the loss of love
arranged marriage
You must know that arranged marriage is the root of all evil, and as for how it became the root of all evil, we have to start with the concept of marriage. Although modern people do not know exactly when marriage appeared, the emergence of marriage must have been accompanied by the emergence of patriarchal society and private ownership. After all, men don't want to work hard to farm and hunt, and in the end, the surplus value will be used by the children of the old king next door
In primitive societies, considering the average life expectancy at that time, as well as the danger of hunting, many adult men's parents may not see that their children have a significant other half and died, so in the early human society, most of the strong were respected, and only the strong had the right to mate, of course, the strong people would not monopolize all the mating rights, and the rest was free love, that is to say, free love appeared earlier than arranged marriages
At that time, the tribal leaders didn't care how you were good, and it was a big deal to have babies and reproduce the tribe quickly, but after the emergence of private ownership, it meant that those with more resources would become aristocrats, and the emergence of nobles meant the emergence of arranged marriages. After all, unlike before, the status of people in a tribe was almost the same, and the Shang and Zhou dynasties not only appeared nobles, but also divided the ranks of nobles, such as princes, scholars, and so on
Aristocratic imagination diagram
Primitive society
The concept of a good match also appeared in the Shang and Zhou dynasties, and parents did not want their daughters to marry someone lower than their own rank and suffer. But I can't stand the young man Wang Ba looking at mung beans, looking at the eyes, what princes' daughters look at the sons of slaves, princesses of a country like ordinary people, this kind of love story is a favorite episode, if it really happens, it will cost the parents their lives
In order to avoid similar incidents, the parents of the aristocracy first began to hide their daughters in the boudoir and did not see men with foreign surnames, so that young girls could not meet a single person. Then it was up to the parents to decide who the girl would marry, which became the safest way for the aristocratic community. As civilization continues to evolve, there is a growing complication between people
The nobles found that marriage can not only be used to reproduce the offspring of the family, but also as an alliance to bundle interests, after all, the two noble families decided to conspire to do a big one, what to do if they are sold when the time comes, but if the two parties are in-laws, the possibility of being sold by the other party is very small, and it is more convenient to communicate with each other
Everyone's beautiful imagination picture
Recreate ancient marriages
Especially during the Warring States Period, with the emergence of the Legalist and Yi clans, they were even more afraid of being betrayed by the other party, because the Yi clan was a father's family, a mother's family, and a wife/husband's family, and betraying their in-laws was also equivalent to selling themselves. In this case, if it is finished together, the two families will trust each other more when they cooperate, but it is precisely because of the emergence of the three Yi clans that the aristocratic group does not dare to marry people casually
If you are free to fall in love, the child marries or marries a child of an unfamiliar family, and if something happens to that family one day, he will follow him to the execution ground for some reason, what kind of thing is this, so at that time, arranged marriage was more reliable, and it was also the best solution in that environment. But only then
In the Han Dynasty, Confucianism became the core values of the feudal era, and arranged marriages became the law of the whole world, and were firmly bound to the filial piety advocated by the Han Dynasty. At that time, people believed that since life was given by parents, then marriage should also be decided by parents, and disobedience was unfilial piety, and everyone was punished at that time
confucianist
If parents seriously help their children choose a partner, then it's okay, but they can't stand that era of male superiority and inferiority, and daughters have become bargaining chips for many families to seek status, wealth, and even a few or two years old. Compared with the family of a high-ranking family, the daughter of a large family can not get love at best, and the arranged marriage of a civilian woman can be said to have brought together thousands of human tragedies in the long river of history
A young girl is a bargaining chip in her mother's house, and she is a commodity in her mother-in-law's house, just as the lyrics in "The joy and sorrow of the rest of her life have nothing to do with it, there is no light in her eyes", in many places arranged marriages are like buying and selling, modern people hear arranged marriages and think about whether there is love in the past, but the cruel reality is whether you can be an upright person when you marry in the past, after all, the incident of selling wives in ancient times is not uncommon
So much so that the folk say that a daughter-in-law becomes a mother-in-law, and at the same time, the dark side of human nature also makes many victims turn their heads and become abusers, which also makes this pain a reincarnation from generation to generation. Therefore, the core of abolishing arranged marriages is to give everyone the right to choose, and they can choose free love or parental introduction, which is much more important than not having to choose the previous arranged marriage