This article is a fictional novel, the pictures are all network pictures, and the names of people and places are all apocryphal.
1
My name is Li Qiang, I am 47 years old this year, and I have been married to Wang Li for almost 20 years.
Our married life is not magnificent, but it is also peaceful.
However, there is such a small thing that makes me feel a little unusual from time to time.
The nature of my work means that I need to travel a lot, but every time I come home from a business trip for work, I can always see Wang Li wearing a bright red dress.
I work in a small trading company, and I am responsible for external procurement, so I have to travel all year round, for as little as three to five days at a time, and as long as a month without going home.
I remember that Wang Li bought this red dress in the early days of our marriage, and she said that she liked the bright and dazzling feeling.
At first, I thought she was wearing it to me, to surprise me in this way, or because I hadn't been home for a long time.
But after a long time, this situation has not changed, no matter spring, summer, autumn and winter, no matter the temperature changes, every time you return home, you must see the red dress appear.
I began to wonder about the reason behind this, but I couldn't just ask directly, for fear of breaking her heart.
Across the street from our house lives a particularly enthusiastic neighbor, Lao Wang, who is in his 50s and retired at home.
In this community, there is little he can't help.
Everyone is used to going to him for anything.
He also has a very good relationship with us, and every time I go home, whether I bring a small gift or not, I like to go over and chat with him, and talk about what I have seen and worried about this business trip.
Mr. Wang has always been able to give me a lot of advice on life and work.
Regarding Wang Li wearing this red dress, I also inadvertently mentioned it.
Lao Wang smiled and said, "Li Qiang, when you are not at home, Wang Li may just want to maintain the relationship and memories between you in this way." "
I listened and felt a little more comforted.
Life goes on like this, and there is no warmth in the ordinary.
I didn't bother too much about Wang Li wearing a red dress, thinking that maybe it was just her personal habit.
After all, for so many years, although the two of us have lived a dull life, we have also supported each other.
During this time, apart from the occasional work annoyance, there didn't seem to be anything else to worry about in our family.
2
On the day I came back from this business trip, it was the beginning of March, and the deep winter had passed, and spring was in full swing.
I dragged my heavy luggage, squeezed the bus from the train station, and then walked the side road to finally get home.
When I opened the door, I saw that Wang Li was wearing that red dress again, like a blooming flower.
I laughed, trying to break the dull homecoming atmosphere with a humorous tone, "Do you like this red dress too much?" When I'm not there, do you wear it like this every day? "
Wang Li also laughed, but didn't say much, just said that I was tired and should rest.
The next day, the sun was just right.
When I went downstairs to take out the garbage, I ran into Lao Wang.
He was as enthusiastic as ever and asked me how the trip was.
We chatted on the benches downstairs.
The topic went from the weather to the current situation, and before I knew it, the topic turned to family.
Suddenly, Lao Wang seemed to be talking and said a message that shocked my heart.
"That red dress is the code of Wang Li and her old friend."
I was stunned for a moment, "What old friend?" Signal? "
Lao Wang realized that he had missed his mouth, and began to panic, and he couldn't speak clearly for a long time.
The heart was pounding, and his mind was full of Lao Wang's words.
When I got home, I suppressed the anger and uneasiness in my heart and questioned Wang Li directly.
At first, she was still puzzled and strongly denied it.
But I had lost my usual composure and began to ask detailed questions.
Under my persecution, Wang Li finally couldn't cry and admitted that she had been in touch with her first love, and whenever I was on a business trip, they would meet, and the red dress was the code between them.
It was as if I had been struck by lightning, and I stood still, my ears blank.
Twenty years of marriage, the days of each other, at this moment, I feel that the whole world is laughing at me.
Looking at Wang Li, who was in tears in front of me and couldn't stop apologizing, my heart was broken.
At that moment, I realized that between us, maybe it was no longer the childhood sweetheart we first met, but a stranger.
The blow was so great that I had trouble breathing for a moment, as if the whole world was spinning.
For twenty years, I thought we were relying on each other, but I didn't expect that without my knowledge, there was an insurmountable rift between us.
I can't believe that this is the family I cherish, my wife, who has such a relationship with someone else.
This day, for me, was a turning point.
All the trust and security collapsed at that moment, and I felt that I no longer knew the woman in front of me who had been so attracted to me.
3
I thought that the way home was warm and sunny, but walking through this door was like stepping into an endless storm.
That night, Wang Li and I had an argument like a volcano erupting, and the air was filled with anger and despair.
She cried while holding my hand and repeating "I'm sorry" in her mouth, but the wall in my heart was as hard as steel and could not be shaken.
The clock in the room ticked, and every second felt like torture to my soul.
Outside, it was quiet in the middle of the night, but here there was a fierce storm.
In the end, I rushed out of the room full of memories, leaving Wang Li slumped on the ground, and scenes of the past brushed through my heart like a marquee.
The streets were deserted, and I felt a chill as I walked aimlessly along the North Second Ring Road.
At this time, my mobile phone was almost my only sustenance.
I called my long-time friend Xiao Zhang, and after listening to my experience, he quickly asked me to go to his place for a while.
Xiao Zhang's home is in Dongcheng District, although it is not luxurious, but it is warm and comfortable.
When I was most frustrated, he gave me refuge.
I took only the most essential things with me, but more than anything else, I wanted to escape from that suffocating space.
Xiao Zhang was my best friend in college, and although he opened a small restaurant, it was a thriving business.
He has a unique philosophy of life, and he always gives me a new perspective when looking at problems.
That night, the two of us sat in the corner of his shop, talking about everything from life to dreams, from failures to hopes.
He didn't blame Wang Li too much, but just comforted me and asked me to give myself a little time to think clearly about what the future should be.
Lying on the bed in the guest room, the moonlight outside the window spilled on the floor.
I know that the pain left by this marriage will be difficult to erase for the rest of my life.
In the dead of night, I recalled the bits and pieces with Wang Li in this unfamiliar environment, and my heart was full of mixed tastes.
A few days later, I began to think about the future of me and Wang Li.
This marriage has brought me joy and deep pain.
Every night, I ask myself: Can we get back together?
Or should I go down this path alone?
Sadly, the answer remains vague.
I know that even if there are "ifs" and "can" opportunities in the world, there are some cracks, but they can never be repaired perfectly.
I also understand that this turmoil will become a hurdle in my life journey that I will never be able to bypass.
Life has to go on, and how to get myself out of this huge shadow and find that true self is the next question that I need to think about.
My heart is no longer in the betrayed hut, but at this new starting point, looking forward to a ray of morning light.
This story is purely fictional, the names and events in the story are fictional, and the purpose of using place names is only for the purpose of describing the plot and making it easy to read and understand.