When it comes to children's education, we seem to have been emphasizing one word in recent years - "relaxation".
But what is a sense of relaxation? How to create a sense of relaxation? What types of parents are included in the "relaxed family"?
Today we're going to take a look at this category of parents:
They are emotionally stable and never beat or scold their children at will;
Although they don't understand what their children are doing, they will always find a way to satisfy them as long as they are harmless;
They will try their best to go into the world of children and be friends with them.
This kind of parent we call "unhappy parents"!
A few days ago, I saw a report on Sohu News:
Chen Yaxiang, a 54-year-old Internet celebrity father, has insisted on accompanying his daughter to watch comic exhibitions since 2014.
His unconditional love for his daughter was praised by the whole network.
He will become an Internet celebrity father because he has been helping his daughter record the daily routine of raising stray cats on social platforms, and has gained the love of a large number of young people.
Accompanying his daughter to watch comic exhibitions and recording his daughter's cats, these warm gestures made him known by netizens as "parents who don't disappoint their fun".
In addition, he will also share the warm daily life, so that countless children envy this daughter who is warmly supported by her father from the bottom of their hearts.
When my daughter was in the third grade. Once I only scored 50 points in mathematics, and in front of my father, I couldn't help crying aggrievedly. Chen Yaxiang looked at the score, although he was a little anxious, but he remained silent in front of his daughter.
Then he looked at the questions carefully and found that many of them were Olympiad math problems, and some of them could not be done by himself.
So, he comforted his daughter and said, "It doesn't matter, my father won't do this topic, don't cry, I'll do it later." ”
When the parent-teacher conference was held, the teacher also reported the exam and said that it was the worst exam for the students.
Then the teacher asked a question:
"How many people have hit children?"
Half of the parents raised their hands.
"How many people have scolded children?"
Another half of the parents raised their hands.
"Is there anyone who doesn't beat or scold?"
As a result, only Chen Yaxiang raised his hand in the class.
The teacher asked curiously, and he replied, "I can't do it after reading the test papers, and the children definitely won't." So I think that not doing well in the test is not a problem for children, but a problem with the test paper. ”
The teacher was very appreciative. Because, he was the only one who carefully read the test papers, while other parents only cared about the scores, but did not see the reasons behind the children's low scores.
Parents who understand their children are the background color of their children's happiness. Therefore, his daughter is also called "happy baby" by her classmates.
His daughter likes comic con very much when she grows up, and in the eyes of Chen's father, the child always dresses up strangely, although he doesn't understand, but Chen's father will also accompany his daughter to the comic con site and take various photos of his daughter.
The daughter said, "Dad is my best friend! ”
Having a parent who doesn't spoil your life is the most flaunting luxury for your child growing up!
Being a parent is also a difficult course for parents to complete.
Have the suffocating feeling of disappointing parents
How to become a non-disruptive parent?
There is a very popular post on Zhihu, titled "Why are Chinese parents always 'unhappy'?" ”
Netizens have shared their parents' "unhappy" moments below:
I went shopping with my mother and bought beautiful clothes, but when I came home, my mother nagged "It's so expensive, I wouldn't have bought it if I knew it";
On her mother's birthday, she quietly prepared six dishes and one soup, but her mother said that "there are so many, it's a waste if you can't finish eating";
I felt beautiful when I cut my hair short, but when I came home, my father exclaimed, "Girls should have long hair";
……
There are countless such things, just a simple sentence, but the good mood at that time is gone.
It's suffocating to have a parent who is unhappy.
I heard many parents around me say that the older the child, the more incompatible he is.
One of the reasons is that the child has been heartbroken by the parents who have already lost their fun.
Of course, it wasn't their intention to be a disappointing parent.
Many Chinese-style parents have the shadow of their original family to some extent. That's what they were taught, and when they come back to their children, they continue this pattern. However, we also have to learn to see the disadvantages of this model.
It hurts the child's heart and also destroys the parent-child relationship.
Therefore, if you are genuinely good for your children and want to maintain a harmonious parent-child relationship for a long time, you must learn to be a parent who does not disappoint your interests.
1. Academic Conferences
A good parent-child relationship is to be friends with your child.
Recall how we get along with our friends.
Be on an equal footing, discuss a matter, and never say hurtful things......
So should we and our children!
Lean down, learn to listen, go into your child's heart, and become your child's best friend!
2. Respect children's interests
Chinese-style parents will always be at the forefront of paying attention to their children's grades, but if you ask your children what they like, many parents will be silent.
- Children love comic con, and parents will say that it is "not doing business";
- Children love games, and parents will say it's "electronic poison";
So what's right? The parent-child relationship is gradually ossified in denial.
Respect the child's interests, parents can guide appropriately, but don't interfere too much!
Write at the end:
The family of origin is the soil for the growth of children, so what kind of parent you are is crucial to your children!
Be a non-fun-minded parent! Let children draw more energy from their parents, feel love and respect, and even in the face of wind and rain in the future, they will move forward bravely and deal with it wisely!
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