If betrayal is discovered, the wife's attitude towards it is crucial.
If handled properly, the betrayal can only happen once. So, what behaviors to avoid after discovering betrayal.
Next, I will tell you three things that must not be done when encountering an extramarital affair, avoiding misunderstandings and dealing with the crisis correctly.
Don't fall into the "victim mentality"
In Chinese-style marriages, the "victim mentality" is particularly common.
Once a man cheats, women often scold the man for being unfaithful, and even beat men all over the world to death.
However, this mindset doesn't really solve the problem other than plunging yourself into deeper pain and resentment.
Just like Xianglin's sister-in-law, repeatedly telling her own misfortune will only exhaust the sympathy of others in the end.
Problems in a marriage are not simply right or wrong.
Betrayal is just a symptom of an emotional rift, and the real problem may be hidden in the communication barrier between you, the disagreement in your lifestyle, or the difference in values.
If you want to repair your marriage, you have to dig deep into the root of these problems.
Talking and venting are important, but it's even more important to think calmly and act positively.
Don't always believe in comforting words like "retribution", it's just self-soothing for the weak.
In reality, it takes wisdom and courage to solve problems.
So, when you find yourself stuck in a "victim mentality," try to think differently.
Marriage is a pas de deux that requires the joint efforts and cooperation of both parties.
Identify points of disagreement between you in your communication, lifestyle, and values, and then seek solutions in a targeted manner.
Don't attack the "third sister" and waste your strength
After being betrayed in marriage, many girls will angrily want to find a third party theory.
But attacking the "third sister" will only make your partner feel that you care too much about him, and may even incite you to fight with a third party, while he himself sits on the mountain and watches the tiger fight.
In such a fight, you will often fight alone, while your partner may become a flower messenger, protecting the outside.
Whatever the outcome, you will lose, either lose your husband or fall into deeper pain while also expending a lot of energy.
So, is it really necessary to target that person out there?
Imagine if your chickens were taken by a weasel, would you choose to exterminate all the weasels in the world? This is clearly unrealistic.
A more sensible way is to strengthen the chicken coop to ensure that your own interests are not harmed.
In the same way, in the face of betrayal and provocation by a third party, the wisest thing to do is to calmly examine the relationship between you.
Jump out of this triangle and directly ignore the provocation of a third party.
Don't use cold violence to solve problems
They feel that doing so will make their partner realize their mistake and take the initiative to make peace.
But in fact, when men are faced with cold violence, they are likely to choose to escape or find other ways to vent their emotions.
He may feel that you don't care about him, that he is freer and can get along better with third parties.
Therefore, the use of cold violence will not only not solve the problem, but will make your relationship more rigid.
Instead of that, find out the crux of the problem and work together to find a solution.
Of course, the conversation may be filled with arguments and tears, but only then can you really solve the problem and rebuild trust.
If done correctly, betrayal can only happen once.
To defend a marriage, you need to use wisdom and courage to dig deep into the root cause of the problem and strengthen the emotional "chicken coop" in order to truly defend the marriage.