Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
There is a saying that if you fall in love with someone, it is like coughing, you can't hide it.
The same is true in marriage, if a man has an outside heart and is not clear with other women outside, in fact, some of his behaviors will also be revealed.
Many readers have left messages with me and asked me to help judge whether my husband is out in a situation.
Some husbands have been coming home late late, some have been working overtime lately, some have said that their husbands have been in love lately, and some have said that their husbands have always not answered the phone recently.
All kinds of clues will make women doubt and worry in their hearts.
Today I want to share with you some ways of judging, which is to look at the man's careful thoughts through what he says.
01
"I have nothing to do with her, don't be suspicious all the time"
When a man exhibits more and more abnormal behavior, you may question him, but his first reaction is usually to deny it.
This is related to a person's "subconscious", even if we do something wrong and are caught, we still can't help but deny it.
It's like breathing, it's a very natural reaction, and many people do that.
But on the other hand, the man's denial also hides his "careful wit".
There was once a man who had another woman outside and told me about his inner thoughts:
"As long as I don't admit it, my wife won't find out, and she'll believe me, which is good for everyone."
Most of the thinking logic of men is like this, with a fluke mentality, thinking that they are very clever and well hidden, and you can't catch his handle.
Because of this thought, it is easy for men to swear and make guarantees to you.
For example, he will tell you: "I have nothing with her, just ordinary colleagues, don't be suspicious all the time." ”
They will even say to you, "I swear to you, if I have anything with her, I will ......"
He will make a very poisonous oath that you can't help but believe him.
A man will feel that you are just a little suspicious of him. As long as he swears, promises, and dissociates himself from the person you suspect, you will not be able to continue to doubt him.
Then if you believe it, you really don't care about him anymore, maybe he will continue, and he may be unscrupulous.
02
"You don't have any evidence, why should you doubt me?"
In addition to swearing to you, a man usually has a second trick: to be upright.
A man also understands in his heart that in the face of your questioning, if he is weak-hearted or does not dare to answer, whether he admits it or not, it is tantamount to acquiescence.
So, even if he does something sorry for you, he will act very reasonable.
Otherwise, they will quibble with you: "What evidence do you have, and why do you doubt me?" ”
Otherwise, they will overwhelm you in momentum and yell at you: "I know that I am suspicious all day long, can I do something serious?" ”
Whether he is quibbling or shouting, he is "throwing the pot" in this way.
Some men are even more exaggerated, telling you directly: "You either doubt this or that every day." Since you don't believe me so much, I might as well do something about it. ”
The man is throwing the pot again, and he wants to scare you with momentum, and even uses threats.
The end result is that many women are shaken and wonder if they are thinking too much. took the initiative to take the responsibility on his own head: he was too suspicious.
At this point, the man's purpose has been achieved. You go from doubting him to doubting yourself, and eventually to chasing after the wind, all because you are wrong.
The man does this, in fact, to hold you, so that you don't dare to care about him in the future, let alone challenge him.
03
"You're not done, you can't live this day"
If a man says this to you, the meaning behind it is: If you force me again, it will only be divorce.
In fact, this is also a means for men to suppress you, and they don't really want to divorce.
Because he knows you well, he knows that you won't divorce easily, even if it's not for him, for the sake of your children.
With this, he feels that he is "sure of you", and he will use this sentence and this trick to deal with you.
Of course, when he said this, he was actually testing you, and he wanted to see how you reacted.
If you say that you flinch because of this sentence, you don't dare to say anything more. Then he further confirmed his judgment, you are indeed afraid of divorce.
With this judgment, then he is even more reassured. From now on, as long as you dare to mention this matter, he will use this trick to force you to compromise.
After reading the careful thinking behind the man's three sentences, we as wives should be vigilant.
Although it can't be said, this man has done 100% of the things that are sorry for you. But at least, you've noticed it, and he's quibbling with you in every possible way, maybe he's already showing signs of betrayal.
At this time, you can't take it lightly, and in the future relationship, pay more attention to find out whether you are thinking too much, or the other party really has a problem.
Don't just swear an oath at you, or yell at you, and you'll be gone.
Because there are many betrayals, it is best to deal with them when they are just showing signs, and the more we delay them, the more difficult it will be to solve them.
If you also encounter this situation, you don't know what to do, you can come to me, I will help you~