About self-motivation and dilemmas in marriage
What does it really mean to be self-motivated? Different people have different understandings, especially between men and women, and this concept seems to vary greatly.
For example, a boy from the countryside bought a house in the city, but he was still saddled with a loan and did not have a car. He works hard every day and earns more than 10,000 yuan a month, and is expected to be promoted and raised in the future. However, some girls think that he is just like that, not particularly motivated.
On the other hand, another boy has a pension for his parents, his salary is not high, only more than 4,000 yuan, and his job is unstable, but he has two apartments and a car at home. These girls instead think he is more self-motivated. Such a standard seems to be somewhat twofold.
Conflict in the family
The story takes place in a residential home in Guangdong. When the woman came back from work, she found that her husband was sleeping in the room without buying groceries and cooking, and the air conditioners in the living room and bedroom were on. The woman worked hard all day, saved money, and was reluctant to buy even a bottle of water, while her husband enjoyed it at home, which made her angry.
She felt that the money she saved by working hard was not enough for her husband to turn on the air conditioner for a day, which made her very aggrieved and felt that she had married the wrong person. She thought of other people's husbands, wives at home, male and female leads, and there was no financial burden, and she couldn't help but wonder why she chose him in the first place.
Is my husband really not motivated?
The woman's husband works as an electric welder and eats by his craft. If he is willing to enter the factory, 7,000-8,000 yuan a month is not a problem. But he didn't want to go into the factory, he was only willing to take jobs outside. Due to the bad market, it is good to have 15 days a month, which makes his monthly income only about 4,000 yuan. Compared with before, the monthly income can reach 15,000 yuan, which is a very big gap.
The woman persuaded her husband to go out to do part-time jobs, such as food delivery or express sorting, but her husband didn't listen, continued to sleep at home and play with his mobile phone, and often didn't cook, waiting for her to come back from work. This made the woman even more aggrieved and angry.
The views of netizens
Netizens believe that the woman's point of view is too harsh, and anyone has a low period, so they should not force their husbands to work part-time. Husband and wife should support each other, and now his career is not going well, it does not mean that he will always be like this. Before, he worked hard, which showed that he was responsible, but now he is only temporarily confused and needs time to adjust.
As a wife, you should communicate with him more, understand and support him, instead of blindly complaining and disliking. After all, marriage is a matter for two people, and when one party is at a low point, the other party should be more tolerant and helpful.
The double standards of society
It seems natural for girls to rest at home, while boys are considered unmotivated if they are a little lax. This double standard makes many boys feel pressured and helpless, and even reluctant to get married. They feel that it may be better for a person to live freely than to be constantly blamed in marriage.
The conclusion is that self-motivation is not only external efforts and achievements, but also mutual understanding and support during low periods. Marriage requires the joint efforts of both parties, not the endless giving of one party and the unlimited taking of the other.