My name is Zhao Xiuying, I am 65 years old, and I was an ordinary factory worker before I retired. Now I live with my son's family in an old hutong in Beijing, and my wife and I bought the house many years ago. My wife left early, leaving this house for me to live with my son's family.
Every morning at 5 a.m., I wake up on time. It's an old habit, and you can't change it even if you retire. I got up lightly, for fear of waking up my son's family, who were still asleep. In the kitchen, I expertly prepared breakfast: Xiao Ming's favorite fried egg, my son's favorite pickle tofu, and my daughter-in-law's low-fat milk.
"Grandma, I'm up!" Xiao Ming's cheerful voice came from the bedroom.
"Okay, come and have breakfast." I replied with a smile, my heart full of joy.
Xiao Ming is 7 years old and in the first grade of primary school. From the day he was born, I took on the responsibility of taking care of him. My son and daughter-in-law are busy with work, and I am happy to help. Watching Xiao Ming grow up day by day, I feel extremely gratified.
After breakfast, I sent Xiao Ming to school. When I got home, I started the busy day: doing laundry, mopping the floor, cleaning... I do everything carefully and carefully. At three o'clock in the afternoon, I had to pick up Xiao Ming from school again.
"Grandma, I want to go to the park!" Xiao Ming took my hand and was coquettish.
"Okay, let's go to the park." I smiled and agreed, even though I was already feeling a little tired.
In the park, Xiao Ming was bouncing around, and I sat on a bench and watched him. Sometimes I wonder if this is the life I should live when I retire. But whenever I see Xiao Ming's bright smile, I feel that everything is worth it.
In the evening, his son Xiao Li and daughter-in-law Xiao Wang came back from work. I had already prepared dinner and the family sat around the table.
"Mom, I'm bothering you again today." Xiao Li said, with an apologetic look on his face.
"It's okay, it's okay, it's supposed to be." I hurriedly said, but I silently thought in my heart: As long as your work is going well, I can do anything.
And so the days went by. Although it sometimes feels hard, I always tell myself: this is my responsibility, and I should give without regrets.
However, life is not always peaceful. Sometimes, small things can also trigger unpleasantness.
One morning, I was preparing breakfast as usual. Daughter-in-law Xiao Wang hurriedly went downstairs and frowned when she saw the food on the table.
"Mom, didn't I say less oil and less salt? This is not good for the body. There was a hint of displeasure in her tone.
I was stunned for a moment, feeling a little sad, but still smiled and said, "Okay, okay, I'll pay attention next time." "
Similar small frictions occur from time to time. I always choose to be patient, thinking that as long as the family is harmonious, it will be fine.
One day, I met my old friend, Aunt Qian, in the park. We talked about our respective lives, and she smiled and said, "My little grandson is in kindergarten, and my son has hired a nanny to take care of him. I can now square dance and play mahjong freely. "
Listening to Aunt Qian's words, I felt a trace of sourness in my heart. Why can't I be as relaxed as she is? But I quickly suppressed the thought and told myself that I shouldn't have it.
However, things took a turn that weekend. That day, I took Xiao Ming to the park to play. He accidentally fell on the climbing frame and scraped his knee.
I hurriedly picked him up and wiped the wound with the wipes I had brought with me. Just when I wanted to take him to the hospital, my daughter-in-law Xiao Wang rushed over from nowhere.
"Mom! How do you take care of it? She asked loudly, anger written all over her face, "I'll just go out for a while, and the child will be hurt!" "
Before I could explain, a resounding slap landed on my face.
"Smack!"
There was a sudden silence around us, and passers-by looked at us in amazement. I froze in place, my cheeks aching. Xiao Ming was so frightened that he cried.
At this time, his son Xiao Li ran over. Seeing this scene, his face changed greatly.
"What are you doing?" He asked Xiao Wang sharply, and then turned to me, "Mom, are you okay?" "
Xiao Wang seemed to realize what he had done, and his face turned a little pale. But she quickly hardened again: "I... I'm worried about my children. If she hadn't taken good care of her, how could the child have fallen? "
Xiao Li frowned, looked at me, and then looked at Xiao Wang, not knowing what to say for a while.
I took a deep breath and said calmly, "Let's go home first." "
When I got home, Li wanted to talk to me, but I just waved my hand and went back to my room.
Lying on the bed, I thought back to all these years of dedication, thinking about the slap just now, and a bitterness welled up in my heart. It dawned on me that maybe I had been wrong all along.
The next morning, I woke up early. When my son's family came to the restaurant, I was already sitting there waiting for them.
"Dad, Mom, Xiao Wang," I looked at them, my tone calm but firm, "I thought about it all night and made a decision. "
They were all stunned, not knowing what I was going to say.
"This house is the brainchild of me and your father. Now, I decided to take it back. I looked my son in the eye, "Your family, move out." "
There was silence in the room, as if time had stopped.
Xiao Li looked at me in shock: "Mom, what did you say?" "
Xiao Wang looked as if he had been struck by lightning, and his face turned pale.
I took a deep breath and continued, "Over the years, I have done my best to take care of this family and take care of Xiao Ming. I don't ask for anything in return, but I don't accept humiliation either. Yesterday's events have taught me a lot. "
Xiao Wang suddenly knelt down, tears coming out of his eyes: "Mom, I was wrong, I really know that I was wrong." Don't drive us away, I will be filial to you in the future. "
I looked at Xiao Wang who was kneeling on the ground, and my heart was mixed. Once upon a time, I fantasized about such a scene, fantasizing that she would realize her mistake and apologize to me. But at the moment, I felt extremely tired and disheartened.
"Xiao Wang, get up." I said calmly, "It's too late to apologize now." Over the years, I have endured so much and given too much. Yesterday's slap not only hit me in the face, but also shattered my last illusions. "
Xiao Li came over and tried to persuade: "Mom, Xiao Wang, she really knows that she is wrong." We can have a good talk and start over. "
I shook my head and said with a wry smile: "Xiao Li, you are a good son, but there are some things that cannot be undone once they happen." I don't blame you, you're busy with work and probably haven't noticed a lot of things. However, my decision has already been made. "
Xiao Ming stood aside, with tears in his eyes, and asked timidly, "Grandma, are we really going to move out?" I don't want to leave you. "
Hearing my grandson's words stabbed in my heart. I squatted down and stroked his hair: "Xiao Ming, grandma will always love you." But sometimes, the world of adults is complicated, and there are some things that must be done. You have to remember that no matter where we live, grandma will always love you. "
Xiao Wang wanted to say something, but was stopped by Xiao Li. He looked at me deeply and said, "Mom, I understand." We'll move out as soon as possible. "
For the next few days, a heavy atmosphere permeated the house. Xiao Li and Xiao Wang began to pack their bags and prepare to move. I locked myself in my room and thought back to the years that had passed.
Finally, the day of moving has arrived. I stood at the door and watched as they loaded their luggage into the car. Xiao Ming reluctantly hugged my leg and cried very sadly.
"Grandma, I don't want to go." He sobbed.
I squatted down and wiped away his tears: "Xiao Ming, be strong." Later, when you have time, grandma will come to see you. "
Xiao Li walked over and stopped talking. In the end, he just said softly, "Mom, take care." "
Xiao Wang stood aside, tears streaming non-stop. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
I watched them drive away until the car disappeared around the corner. Then, I slowly walked back to the empty house and closed the door.
The house suddenly became quiet, and the footsteps of me alone echoed around every corner. I walked into Xiao Ming's room, looked at the paintings he drew on the wall, his favorite teddy bear on the bed, and felt a sour feeling in my heart.
I sat on the couch in the living room and looked around. It used to be full of laughter, but now I'm the only one left. I can't help but ask myself: Is my decision too extreme? Is there an alternative to this?
But every time I think back to that slap in the park that day, I feel an irrepressible wave of anger and grievance in my heart. At that moment, I felt that my years of dedication had been completely denied and my dignity had been completely trampled on.
I picked up the album on the coffee table and looked through the family photos over the years. Watching Xiao Ming grow up day by day in the photo, and the smiles of my son and daughter-in-law and I gradually became less, I couldn't help but sigh. Perhaps, this ending was predestined a long time ago.
At night, I lay in bed and listened to the sound of insects outside, feeling lonely like never before. I began to wonder if I had made the right decision and if I was too extreme. But another voice is telling me that you are doing the right thing, that you deserve to be respected, and that you should not keep holding back.
The next morning, I habitually woke up early to prepare breakfast. But when I walked into the kitchen, I realized that there was no one else in the house. I stood there, momentarily overwhelmed.
At this moment, the doorbell rang. I opened the door and found that it was Aunt Zhang, who lived next door.
"Xiuying, I heard that your son moved away?" Aunt Zhang asked with concern.
I nodded and smiled reluctantly, "yes, they have a life of their own." "
Aunt Zhang patted me on the shoulder: "Don't be sad, if you need help, just say it." By the way, our square dance team is short of people, do you want to come and have fun? "
I was stunned for a moment, then felt a hint of warmth. Perhaps, this is the beginning of a new life?
"Okay," I said with a smile, "I'll go in a moment." "
Closing the door, I took a deep breath. I know that there is still a long way to go, and there will be many difficulties and loneliness. But I believe that as long as you persevere, you will always find your own happiness.
Looking at the family portrait on the wall, I whispered, "I'm sorry, maybe my decision hurt you." However, I also need to live for myself once. "
I changed into my tracksuit and walked out of the house. The sun was shining warmly on my body, and I felt that the gloom in my heart seemed to dissipate a little. I know that this decision will bring a lot of change, and there may be more loneliness and longing. But I also understand that sometimes, loving someone also includes loving yourself.
A new life, a new beginning. I, Zhao Xiuying, 65 years old, officially started my "second life".