"In the 'Happiness Lane' community, the life difficulties and emotional needs of middle-aged and elderly men after widowhood are like a mirror, reflecting their inner loneliness and longing. The experiences of Lao Zhang and Lao Li are just a microcosm of many similar stories, their confusion and struggle after losing their partners, the incomprehension and gradual understanding of their children, the discussion of neighbors and the neglect of society, and finally the pursuit and persistence of new happiness, all of which are thought-provoking. Step into this world of love and helplessness, and feel their twilight love. ”
In the "happiness" community where we live, there has been a remarkable phenomenon in recent years. Those men who are in their mid-teens and early sixties, once they lose their wives, almost no one wants to face the rest of life alone.
Lao Zhang, whose full name is Zhang Fugui, is 58 years old this year. He was of medium stature, slightly hunched, and his shoulders, which had been broad, now looked a little saggy. His hair is sparse and gray, as if it has been ruthlessly invaded by the frost and snow of the years, and the wrinkles on his forehead are like furrows, telling the vicissitudes of life. His eyes are not big, but there is always a sense of honesty and simplicity in his eyes. Once, his weather-beaten face was always filled with a satisfied smile, but since his wife left, the smile has faded like a withered flower. Nowadays, his eyes are often empty, and the whole person seems to have lost his soul, as if the most vivid part of his life has been taken away.
Lao Zhang sat on the shabby sofa, holding the photo of his wife tightly in his hand, and said in a trembling voice: "My wife, you are gone, how can I live this life." The picture had been blurred by him, but he still regarded it as a treasure. The old couple in the photo is smiling, which is a testimony to the good times they once spent together. In the past, the house was always well organized by his wife, and Lao Zhang could eat hot and delicious meals when he came home from work every day, and his clothes were always clean and tidy in the closet. After his wife left, Lao Zhang stumbled even the simplest meals, and his clothes were crumpled and washed. Every day when I return to that empty room full of memories, Lao Zhang's heart feels like a piece has been dug out. At night, he often sat alone on the sofa, silently crying at the photos of his wife. He thought to himself: "Without you in this house, where would there be a home." ”
One day, Lao Zhang tried to make a simple noodle meal by himself. He scrambled to find pots and pans in the kitchen, and the flour was scattered all over the floor, and the water was splashed everywhere. I finally put the noodles in the pot, but because they took too long to cook, they turned into a pot of batter. Lao Zhang looked at this pot of failed works helplessly, sighed, and muttered to himself: "Wife, you used to take care of me, but now I can't even take care of myself." His face was full of frustration and helplessness, like a child lost in the dark.
Lao Li, named Li Qingfeng, is 62 years old, tall but slightly emaciated, like an old tree that has experienced too much wind and rain. His face is well-defined, with a high nose and a resolute chin that shows how strong he once was. However, what is now revealed in the sunken eye sockets is endless exhaustion and loneliness. His broad forehead and deep eyes, which once revealed firmness and confidence, were now shrouded in sorrow and loneliness. He is quite physically tough and has a cheerful personality. But since the death of his wife, his smile has been significantly less. In the past, he and his wife always walked arm in arm in the community, sitting on the sofa and watching TV together, talking and laughing. But now, this warm time can only be found in memories. At night, he lay alone in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep, and his heart was empty.
Once, Lao Li met Lao Zhang in the community, sighed and said: "Lao Zhang, this life without a companion is really not a person's life, we are all this age, and no one around is okay." Lao Zhang nodded again and again, his eyes were full of helplessness and longing, "Yes, Lao Li, there is no woman in this family, it really doesn't look like a home." Their eyes met, and each could see the pain and confusion in each other's hearts.
For men like Lao Zhang and Lao Li, they are afraid of being lonely and old age, and deep down they desperately want someone to be by their side. In the traditional concept, men are regarded as the pillars of the family, but in the trivialities of life, they are also accustomed to having women behind the scenes. After losing their spouses, this lack of family roles left them feeling at a loss and eager to find new emotional sustenance.
From the perspective of life needs, Lao Zhang found that he couldn't do housework at all. The clothes were piled up like a hill and I didn't know how to wash them, the hygiene at home was a mess, and the kitchen was deserted because it didn't turn on the fire for a long time. One day, Lao Zhang tried to cook by himself, and in his hurry he made the kitchen a miasma, he sat on the ground in frustration and muttered to himself: "What can I do about this?" ”
In order to change this situation, Lao Zhang decided to try to learn to do housework. He bought a cookbook, put on reading glasses, and studied it carefully. But the dishes made according to the recipe are either salty or light, and the taste is always unsatisfactory. Once, he made a dish of braised pork, which turned out to be burnt, and the whole room was filled with a burning smell. He looked at the black piece of meat, and his heart was full of frustration: "Why am I so useless, I can't even cook a meal." ”
Lao Li had no one to take care of him, and his diet became extremely irregular. Sometimes you just take a bite of instant noodles, and sometimes you don't eat it at all. As time passed, his physical condition gradually deteriorated, and his spirit became sluggish. Once, Lao Li was sick and had a high fever, but there was no one around to take care of him. He forced himself to pour himself a glass of water, took some medicine, and lay on the bed, his heart full of desolation. He thought, "If my wife was still here, she would definitely take care of me carefully, what kind of sin have I done?" ”
Lao Zhang's son Xiao Zhang didn't understand his father's idea of remarrying at first, and felt that his father had forgotten his mother so quickly, and he complained a little in his heart. He frowned and said to Lao Zhang: "Dad, Mom has only been gone for a long time, how can you be in such a hurry?" Lao Zhang explained helplessly: "Son, Dad didn't forget your mother, it's just that it's too hard to live alone these days, and Dad needs to have someone to take care of." When Xiao Zhang heard this, he felt a little uncomfortable in his heart, he felt that his father's feelings for his mother were not deep enough. But later, Xiao Zhang saw that his father was getting haggard and the whole person lost his former spirit, and he began to feel sorry for his father.
One day, Xiao Zhang came home from work and saw his father busy in the kitchen, and his heart felt sour. He walked over, patted his father on the shoulder, and said, "Dad, if you meet the right one, let's be together, I support you." Lao Zhang was moved to tears and held his son's hand tightly. At that moment, Lao Zhang felt extremely relieved, he knew that his son finally understood his distress.
Lao Li's daughter, Xiao Li, resolutely opposed her father's remarriage. In her heart, her mother is irreplaceable, and her father's desire to find a new partner so quickly is unfaithful to her mother. Every time Lao Li mentioned this matter, the father and daughter would quarrel. Xiao Li crossed his hands on his hips and shouted loudly: "Dad, if you look for it again, I won't recognize you as Dad!" Lao Li sighed helplessly, "Daughter, Dad just doesn't want to be alone." ”
In order to ease the relationship with his daughter, Lao Li began to care more about his daughter's life and tried to make her understand her loneliness. He would cook his daughter the meals she liked, even though they didn't taste as good as her mother's cooking. He will also patiently listen to his daughter talk about her worries at work and give her some advice. Gradually, Xiao Li saw his father's efforts and loneliness, and his attitude began to loosen.
One day, Xiao Li came home from work and saw her father preparing dinner for her in the kitchen. When she saw her father's slightly clumsy movements and sweaty head, she felt a sudden feeling of guilt in her heart. She walked over, took the shovel from her father's hand, and whispered, "Dad, I'll come." At that moment, the relationship between father and daughter began to ease.
The neighbors in the community also had a lot of discussions about the situation of Lao Zhang and Lao Li. Some expressed sympathy, feeling that they were not easy and should have personal care; Others point fingers behind their backs, saying that they want to find a new one so quickly and are not loyal enough to their deceased wife. Most of the activities organized by the community focus on the health of the elderly or the education of children, and pay little attention to the emotional needs of these middle-aged and elderly men, which makes them feel more lonely and helpless in the community.
Once, the community organized a dance competition for the elderly. Lao Zhang and Lao Li wanted to participate, hoping to take this opportunity to meet some new friends, but they heard some neighbors' cold words: "At this age, I still want to have fun." They could only turn away in silence. Lao Zhang's heart was full of loss: "Aren't we old enough to have happiness and companionship?" ”
Perhaps the community can organize more activities for middle-aged and elderly men, such as chess competitions and calligraphy classes, so that they have the opportunity to make new friends and expand their social circles. Psychological counseling services can also be provided to help them get out of the shadow of widowhood and face their emotional needs correctly. Society should also pay more attention to this group and give them more care and support.
One day, Xiao Wang, a community worker, learned about Lao Zhang and Lao Li's situation and decided to organize a special symposium for them. At the symposium, Xiao Wang patiently listened to their voices and said: "Uncles, we will pay more attention to everyone's needs in the future and make everyone's life more colorful." Lao Zhang and Lao Li listened, and a glimmer of hope ignited in their hearts.
Under the introduction of a friend, Lao Zhang met a kind and gentle lady, her name is Xiu'e. Xiu'e is of medium stature, plump, and always has a kind smile on her face, which is like the sunshine of spring, warm and bright. Her eyes were wide, and there was kindness and understanding in her eyes. The first time they met, Lao Zhang was a little nervous, and his hands kept rubbing the corners of his clothes. Xiu'e smiled and said, "Don't be nervous, let's get to know each other slowly in the future." Lao Zhang looked at Xiu'e's smile, and the tension in his heart gradually dissipated.
After getting along for a period of time, Lao Zhang found that Xiu'e was not only kind-hearted, but also very hardworking and capable. She will keep the house in order and will cook good dishes. Lao Zhang's heart was warmed by Xiu'e little by little. One day, Lao Zhang fell ill, and Xiu'e took care of him meticulously. She boiled porridge, fed medicine, and never left Lao Zhang's side for a moment. Lao Zhang said movingly: "Xiu'e, thank you." Xiu'e said softly: "Don't say that, we will be a family in the future." At that moment, Lao Zhang decided to spend the rest of his life hand in hand with Xiu'e.
Lao Li was participating in activities organized by the community and met a lady who was also widowed, named Osmanthus. Osmanthus is petite in stature and gentle in character. They participated in calligraphy classes together and exchanged calligraphy experiences together. Gradually, Lao Li found that he and Osmanthus had a lot of topics and interests in common. However, Lao Li still had some concerns in his heart, worried that his daughter would not agree.
Once, Lao Li plucked up the courage to bring the osmanthus home and introduce it to his daughter. Xiao Li was a little surprised at first, but when she saw the gentleness and kindness of Osmanthus and the happy smile on her father's face that was renewed, her heart began to waver. In the end, Xiao Li accepted the osmanthus flower, and Lao Li finally put down a big stone in his heart.
I hope that in the future, this phenomenon can get more attention and understanding, so that every elderly person can live a happy and stable life in their old age, and still feel love and warmth in the twilight years.
In the "Happiness Lane" community, Lao Zhang and Lao Li, two middle-aged and elderly men, experienced the chaos of life and inner torment after being widowed. Lao Zhang doesn't know how to do housework, Lao Li eats irregularly, and they are longing for a new partner to accompany them in their loneliness. The children's initial incomprehension and the neighbors' discussions made them feel stressed. But in the end, Lao Zhang found Xiu'e, and Lao Li also came together with Osmanthus and ushered in a new happiness. This is not only their personal story, but also a reflection of the life and emotional difficulties faced by this group of people in society after being widowed, as well as the relentless pursuit of love and companionship. Through their experiences, we have seen the deep inner needs of middle-aged and elderly people, and also called on the society to give more understanding and care.
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