Marriage is like a besieged city, people outside the city want to come in, people inside the city want to go out - Qian Zhongshu "Siege".
"Siege of the City" is the representative work of Qian Zhongshu, to this day, the life he wrote still affects everyone, Qian Zhongshu is well known because of "Siege", through Qian Zhongshu, and learned about his wife Yang Dai.
Mr. Yang Dai was born in a famous family, and the first half of his life was a happy family and a happy marriage. Living into the envy of many people, the second half of life is difficult, living a turbulent and displaced life, the only daughter suffered from spinal cancer, in order to treat her daughter, wading through the mountains to find a famous doctor, but the daughter still could not survive.
Just a year after the death of her daughter, Qian Zhongshu also died, widowed in old age, and widowed husband, the blow to Yang Dai can be imagined, her mood is not very human to taste, Yang Dai's prose collection "We both" is a retrospective prose, but also Yang Dai is telling the past of this family.
In Yang Chen's life, in addition to Qian Zhongshu, there was another person, his name was Fei Xiaotong.
Fei Xiaotong, born in 1910 in Wujiang, Jiangsu Province, an intellectual family, during the Republic of China, there were boys' schools and girls' schools, but Fei Xiaotong was born shy, not very talkative, his parents were afraid that he would be bullied in the boys' school, so they transferred him to Zhenhua Girls' School.
In 1923, Yang Dai was also admitted to Suzhou Zhenhua Girls' High School, the two became alumni, Fei Xiaotong was a male student in the girls' school, it can be said that it was a very eye-catching existence, Fei Xiaotong's friends were also some girls, after Yang Dai entered the school, the two became friends.
However, Fei Xiaotong is 13 years old after all, and the school is also worried about the inclusion of male students in the girls' school, just in the same year Fei Xiaotong transferred to the Affiliated Middle School of Soochow University, and was admitted to Soochow University at the age of 18, originally Fei Xiaotong thought that he would never see Yang Dai again, but he did not expect Yang Dai to fail to apply for the Department of Foreign Languages of Tsinghua University, transferred to Soochow University, and the two became alumni again.
The two originally knew each other, so as soon as they entered the school, they became friends again, Yang Dai has always regarded Fei Xiaotong as a friend, but Fei Xiaotong has secret feelings for her, he originally thought that he could "get the moon first near the water tower", but he did not expect to be rejected, Yang Dai was not embarrassed at all, and the two were still friends.
Fei Xiaotong could only collect this feeling, bury it in his heart, and silently guard Yang Dai.
In 1932, Yang Dai was admitted to Tsinghua University, at this time Fei Xiaotong had already graduated, he was invited by Liang Shuming, to Shandong to participate in rural construction work, heard that Yang Dai was admitted to Tsinghua, he also seemed to have a hope, and then applied for the graduate school of the Department of Sociology and Anthropology of Tsinghua University, entered Tsinghua University to study.
Fei Xiaotong and Yang Dai became alumni three times, and the two often walked side by side on the Tsinghua campus, like a pair of boyfriend and girlfriend, but Yang Dai met his lifelong partner Qian Zhongshu at Tsinghua University; Yang Dai met through his cousin, and the first time the two met, they determined their lives.
The first thing Qian Zhongshu said to her was: "I am single and have no girlfriend yet." ”
Where ordinary people will say such things when they first meet, Yang Dai listened to it, and also laughed out loud, but still replied solemnly: "I don't have it, Fei Xiaotong is not my boyfriend." ”
The two slowly came together in the process of getting along, how could this matter be concealed from Fei Xiaotong, but in the face of Fei Xiaotong's "entanglement", Yang Dai once again chose to refuse.
In 1935, Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu married in a restaurant in Suzhou, but it was not known whether to completely give up or to escape feelings, Fei Xiaotong also chose to marry in this year, he married Wang Tonghui, who was also studying sociology at Yenching University, but the marriage did not last long.
In December 1935, Fei Xiaotong and Wang Tonghui went to Yaoshan mountain in Guangxi province together, and as a result, Fei Xiaotong mistakenly stepped on the yao people's tiger trap, Wang Tonghui went out to ask for help, and the result was gone, the next evening, the villagers found Fei Xiaotong, after searching, on the seventh day found Wang Tonghui's body in a mountain stream, and the marriage lasted only 108 days.
In 1939, he met Meng Yin under the introduction of his eldest brother, and the two have been together for 55 years, and his wife Meng Yin died of illness in 1994.
Fei Xiaotong lost his wife, and Yang Dai also felt a thousand emotions, but he did not expect that a few years later, Yang Dai's daughter would lose her father. The two became lonely again, and Fei Xiaotong had come out of his grief, probably thinking of accompanying Yang Dai through the last journey of his life, and once again expressed his heart to Yang Dai.
Yang Dai stood on the stairs and told him: The stairs are difficult to climb, and we must learn to retreat in spite of difficulties.
Yang Dai did not say anything, but her choice was the same as that year, Fei Xiaotong understood the spirit, but he still chose to stay by Yang Chen's side, but never came to the door, and died in 2005.