On 30 April, International Children's Day is not played. Yes, there is also a festival in the world dedicated to the voice of children who have been beaten! In China, the "hands-on concept" of many parents is that children cannot fight without a weapon. How can beating, scolding, and destroying a child be raised to raise a child who has love in his heart and light in his eyes? More educated than children are parents who resort to rough discipline. How to teach children without scolding? Share some of the "gentle and determined" educational lessons.
No.1
When my son is older, he also likes music, and he has pasted the posters of Jay Chou and Jackson all over the wall. I didn't interfere, I even saw myself in it, not to mention my youth, even if I was not young, I still did similar things, even more crazy.
He was the protagonist in life, and I and his mother were not responsible for writing his script, just wanted to be a competent audience and appreciator.
Author 丨 Bai Yansong from "Happy? 》
No.2
Remember the details of taking medicine when you were a kid? We reasoned you over and over again, and finally made you burst into tears and eat the medicine yourself with your mouth open. We haven't even pinched your nose once. We haven't hit you once. I haven't reprimanded you. Of course you have done wrong, but apart from seriously discussing the merits and demerits with you, we have never imposed anything on you that you do not yet understand.
Daughter, to be honest, your mom and dad are proud of you. What you are proud of is by no means the world's so-called achievements and ranks, but your sense of dignity has not been destroyed, you will not fly and watch the words and live a trivial and pitiful life; your personality has not been extinguished, and you will not live smoothly and depressed with the flow of people. You maintain your dignity and individuality, and you know how to respect the dignity and individuality of others. This is a healthy, sound personality.
Author 丨 Chen Jiangong from "To My Daughter"
No.3
Parents often think that children have no or lack of self-esteem. Casually yell at them, nagging for a little bit of fault. No matter what the occasion or who is present, just care about what they say, completely ignoring whether the little child can bear it.
Thinking that it is just a good medicine, no matter how bitter, the child should swallow it without changing his face and not beating. The more painful the child, the more it shows that he is deeply impressed by this education, and the more effective he can play a role in learning from each other.
The only reins that can restrain people from repeating the mistakes of the past are introspective self-esteem and self-control. Its essence is a kind of cherishing oneself and respecting others, and it is the observance and obedience to the public laws of society.
If a child loses his dignity in endless psychological torture from an early age, no matter how professional his future education is, it will be difficult to make up for the darkness and mutilation of the psychology, and a huge crisis will be lurking in the personality.
Author 丨 Bi Shumin from "Whispering with Ears"
No.4
How well parents do is the best indication of a person's personality, quality and upbringing.
The so-called friend of the child is not to treat the child as a pet or tool, but as an independent personality that is forming, not only loving him and hurting him, but also giving trust and respect. All matters that belong to the child himself are neither overstepping nor interfering, but are concerned with love and discussed with an equal attitude. There should be an atmosphere of friendly discussion and communication between parents and children. It is in this atmosphere that children can gradually develop an independent spirit based on love and self-confidence, so that they can grow up healthily.
There are some serious parents who are very boring, and when they see their children being naughty, they punish them, and they are indifferent when they hear their children's funny words, and I really feel wronged for their children. In the arid desert, the child's intellectual flowers wither prematurely. In the silent and stuffy house, the child's spiritual laughter was prematurely muted. If a child is gifted normally but does not have humor, the responsibility must be on the adult.
The author 丨 Zhou Guoping from "The way to educate children can best show a person's quality and upbringing"
No.5
I— our adults — behave normally, always cautiously, attentively, carefully, Sven. For example, grinding ink, putting pens, pouring tea, etc., are carefully engaged, so that the arrangement on the table remains every day without destruction or disruption. For the muscles of my hands and siblings have developed a deep inertia of vigilance as a result of repeated physical lessons.
However, as soon as the children climbed onto my case, they disturbed my order, destroyed the composition on my desk, and destroyed my utensils. They picked up the fountain pen and waved it, sprinkled a table of ink spots on the placket; and dipped the tip of the pen into the paste bottle. They pulled out the brass sleeve of the brush with force, knocked over the teapot with the back of their hands, and the lid of the pot shattered on the floor...
This made me impatient at the time, and I could not help but hum at them, take away their things, and even criticize their little cheeks. However, I immediately regretted it: after humming and drinking, I immediately followed it with laughter, and immediately after taking it, I doubled my offering, and the hand that slapped my cheek (referring to the slap) was soft in the middle of the way, and finally changed into a stroke.
For I immediately realized to myself: how perverse it is that I demand that children behave like myself!
Author 丨 Feng Zikai From "Children"
No.6
I hope you have a good temper, never be like me, and take my bad temper as your warning. I'm most afraid of giving you a bad influence in this regard.
If you can not let your father's shortcomings develop in you, it is your best reward for your father, and it is also a great responsibility to your next generation.
Author 丨Fu Lei From the Book of Fu Lei
No.7
Our kindergarten has such a family, the father is very strict, saying one is not two, basically not negotiable, the mother is very soft, used to accommodate the child, probably this is "a singing red face and a singing white face". However, the child has many problems, is extremely obedient in front of the father, and immediately implements any demands of the father, even if some of them are too demanding. In front of his mother, he was extremely stubborn, and whatever his mother said, he basically did not listen and did whatever he wanted. Therefore, whether he obeys or not depends entirely on whether his father is present or not.
These parents are unclear that the best attitude towards their children is "gentle and firm".
Be patient, gentle with your child, build a relationship with your child, and let your child feel close to you.
At the same time, the heart should be very principled, have a bottom line, and know what the child can and cannot do.
"Firmness" is a habit that must be implemented for a long time, and if there is a bottom line, we must always adhere to this principle and bottom line. Your child may be rolling on the ground because he doesn't want to wear thick clothes, or he may cry for two or three hours because he doesn't have a popsicle, and as long as you make a decision, no matter what he does, stick to your decision. Day after day, year after year, your heart is always principled, and the child will grow into an adult with a principled heart and strong self-control. Because he knew that it was useless to cry and make trouble, and what should be done should always be done.
Author 丨 Yi Nian from "Please be gentle and firm to your children"
No.8
I remember when I was about to get married, my father told me, "Don't blame someone you like." ”
I realized that those words clearly contained my father's beliefs. It is in this way that fathers give full freedom to others. When I first entered elementary school, I didn't like a regular life, and I often skipped school, and my mother asked my father to escort me to school, but my father did not. He asked me to complain about the reason for truancy, and I said intermittently that it was good to be at home, that I could collect rainwater on rainy days, that I could feed the birds, and that I could pinch funny clowns with flour balls. Father said, then you will be at home every day. However, for a week, I was bored at home, and I ran away to school as if I were running away, and soon became an energetic student. To this day, I often fear that if my father had dragged me to school, I might have been tired of reading forever.
Author 丨 Qin Wenjun From "My Father's Love"
No.9
After becoming a mother, I finally knew: cute little angels would roll in the streets and cry for no reason; they would not eat all day, or eat uncontrollably until they had stomachaches; they would try to plug their little fingers into the power outlet and try to recharge themselves.
I became a member of the rescue team, fighting from east to west, tired of running for my life. I don't understand: diamonds are only 58 facets, why do young children have a thousand inexplicable behaviors?
I dialed my mother's phone, counted my daughter's various ills, and choked up and asked: "Also as a mother, why do you meet roses and I encounter thorns?" After a moment of deep groaning, the old man responded gently: "When you were four years old, you played with fire and almost burned down the whole house; when you were five years old, you hid on the roof and slept, leaving your family to cry and look for a night; at the age of seven or eight, you refused to listen to any opinions from adults..." Holding the microphone, my sweat dripped down.
The mother said, "Thorns, too, are part of the rose." ”
When we were young, we were also so sensitive, but once we grew up, we immediately forgot the pure love and infatuation of that year, and only measured the belly of the "little man" with the heart of an adult, and stopped it for no reason. The childlike heart is originally pure white and soft. Please allow children to cry, allow children to laugh, allow them to grow up in the most natural way possible.
Author 丨 Liu Jirong from "With You, I Am Not Afraid of Aging"
Cover image 丨Visive China
Pictured 丨Design illustrator Lara Paulussen
Content 丨 CCTV news reorganization
Cartography 丨 Meng Xianglong
♥️
May the children of the world be beaten,
A little less, a little less!
Mom and Dad scolded you for something
Depressed words Click [Write Message] to pour bitter water
Producer 丨Li Zhe
Editor 丨 Wang Ruolu Proofreader 丨 Shao Zhuo