Has your child ever been left out in the cold?
Maybe it was when I was a kid and saw a group of older kids playing games and wanted to join, but they were rejected.
Maybe it was after school, one day after school, the child told your classmate that it was a birthday and invited many people, but did not invite her
……
"Snubbed" is one of the Babe Bear series of books about what children should do when they encounter such problems.
Before introducing this book in detail, let's first introduce that the "Babe Bear Series" is the brainchild of the "father of children's behavior education in the United States", the Bodan couple, which has been selling well for nearly half a century, and has been praised by experts and readers as a good helper for parents' family education. This series of children's books is based on the concept of behavioral education and is committed to the common growth of parents and children.
Each book has a theme, which is a small trouble, a small trouble, etc. that children often encounter in the process of growing up. Like "The Study of Money", "Go to the Hospital", "TV Fans", "Messy Room", "Silly and Bold", "See What to Do", "Treat Strangers", "Homework Troubles", "Afraid of the Dark", "Moving", "Prank", "Scientific Diet" and so on.
In each story, the mouth of the mother bear or the father of the bear is usually borrowed and a solution is given. Although it is not necessarily a panacea, I think many of them are quite instructive. Moreover, when it comes to parent-child reading with children, children like the story and tend to be more receptive to the suggestions in the book.
In the story, one day, The Bear sister and her good friend made an appointment to go to school to play "jumping double rope". Little Bear Sister loves to play this game, she is a master!
On the playground, they meet a new student, Queenie.
Queenie dressed up fashionably, rode a beautiful bicycle, and generously let the other students try it on.
When The Bear sister and friends also crowded over and greeted Queenie.
Queenie made a big mockery of her, from her name to her outfit.
Queenie invites the other children to eat creamy ice cream, and Sister Bear sadly goes home.
Although the little bear sister came home without saying anything, the bear mother was still keenly aware that something must have happened.
After dinner, Little Bear sister told her mother what had happened on the school playground.
Mother Bear also came from her children, knows what it's like to be ostracized, and understands that children like Queenie always belittle others and elevate themselves.
But Mother Bear also knows that there's no good in worrying too much about this kind of thing.
Sister Bear took Sister Bear in her arms to comfort her, maybe tomorrow everything will be fine.
Unexpectedly, the next day, Queenie laughed at Little Bear's sister's bicycle in front of many classmates.
Sister Bear is angry and decides to ride Brother Bear's bike to scare Queenie. It's just that she was too young to fall down just after pushing her brother's car out.
Mother Bear came back from outside, saw this scene, and knew that it must be related to the fact that Little Bear's sister was snubbed.
Mother Bear told Sister Bear to come into the house. She bought Jeans and a headband for Sister Bear, which would be fashionable to dress up.
Sister Bear tried on clothes and asked, "Mom, why does Queenie want to tease me like that?" ”
Mother Bear thought about it carefully and said, "Not only children, but sometimes even adults do the same." They specialize in teasing people who call a certain name or wear a certain dress, in fact, to make a splash. ”
Looking at herself in the mirror, Little Bear Sister changed her mind.
She said: "I really like this new dress, but the problem is, this is not me. I still like the original me, and I won't change myself for Queenie those people! ”
Little Bear's sister changed into her original clothes and called Liz to inquire about the school's "jumping double rope".
On the day of the competition, the Cub Sister Group unsurprisingly won the championship!
Queenie, on the other hand, performed the worst when she jumped rope, with necklaces and earrings wrapped around the jump rope.
As soon as the award ceremony ended, many children surrounded Little Bear's sister and asked her for the skills of "jumping double rope".
I think that when mother bears face the exclusion of their children, there are several practices that are worth learning from our parents.
First, she understood the bear sister, listened to the bear sister's story, achieved empathy, and helped the bear sister to eliminate negative emotions.
Second, she tries to help The Bear sister to integrate into the group of friends. She bought so-called fashionable clothes for Little Bear's sister, though it wasn't something she had appreciated before. Sometimes, a child's classmates may read a book or a cartoon, and we don't think it's very good. But if there is no deviation in principle, children should be allowed to contact, so that they have more common language with others, and they will also reduce the possibility of being excluded.
Third, help children develop their own strengths. This is not directly expressed in the book, but the little bear sister is after a long period of practice to reach the level of "jumping double rope" master. In this process, Mother Bear has been supportive. In real life, we should also encourage children to learn one or two specialties, which may be instruments such as piano, violin, trumpet, may be sports activities such as table tennis, basketball, fencing, and artistic skills such as drawing, dancing, and singing... Children who have their own good activities will be more confident and easier to make friends. And when learning these, there are also opportunities to make friends of the same age outside the school and expand the scope of communication.
Of course, the confidence and strength of Little Bear's sister also played an important role in changing her situation. The love given by the family is an important environment for the formation of the character of the little bear sister.
Therefore, in the usual parenting process, we must also pay attention to conveying our love in bits and pieces.
When children know that they have a strong backing, they will have more courage to face setbacks.
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