"Ask the world, what is love, straight people, life and death promise!"
I still remember when I first watched "Divine Eagle Hero", the deepest impression was that Li Moxuan had to leave this sentence every time he killed someone.
This murderous demon who loves to hate is pitiful and hateful. What is love all about, so fascinating, and so torturous?
Perhaps we can find the answer from thousands of love novels, but the love in them is far away and strange under the filter of artistic special effects, and there are several idealizations that are different from real life.
What exactly is love without special effects filters? Perhaps from the book that Ma Yun called influencing his life, "Life" that Jia Zhangke highly respected, can be seen a thing or two.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >1, 3 loves of Gaugarin</h1>
In Lu Yao's "Life", the protagonist Gao Garin has experienced a total of 3 loves, and the end is still unfinished.
Gao Garin's first love was in high school, which was a common hazy youth in literature and art, one was the class leader, the other was a study committee member, in the budding hormones of youth, mutual appreciation of literature, mutual discussion of literature and art, mutual admiration.
It is said that the first love is difficult to cultivate into a positive result, not to mention that Gao Garin graduated from high school without a chance of college, how dare he dare to think of Huang Yaping, whose parents are state cadres in the countryside? So the love that is waiting to sprout can only end in vain.
The second relationship occurred after Gao Garin's private teacher position was pushed out of the back door by the son of the village secretary.
Painful, unwilling, resentful, and confused, Gao Garin met Liu Qiaozhen, who had long admired her, Liu Qiaozhen was beautiful, cute, gentle, and innocent, that is, she could not read one.
Once selling bread, embarrassed and frustrated, Gao Garin was confessed by Qiaozhen, who had been "planning for a long time", he was helpless, trembling, and excited to touch the smoke, Qiaozhen handed him the cigarette that had been prepared, and in Garin's surprise, Qiaozhen said a shy "I know." And put his hand on Garin's chest, thus capturing Gaugarin's heart.
"Jane Eyre" said: Love is a game, you must maintain equal strength, in order to rely on each other for a long time.
The love between Gao Garin and QiaoZhen is a look-up, a look-down, and it is expected that the unequal relationship will end in failure.
The third love affair occurred after Gao Garin became a correspondent in the county, and the love that did not sprout in high school spilled out.
Gao Garin, who loved literature, worked hard and became a prominent figure in the county. When the confident and trendy Gao Garin was confessed by Huang Yaping and promised to work in the larger city (Nanjing), he tied his love and future together and abandoned Qiaozhen.
Shakespeare said that if love is mixed with calculations that have nothing to do with itself, it is not true love.
Gao Garin's love that weighed on the future can only be terminated when he is beaten back to his original form again.
Gao Garin's 3 loves all ended in failure, but a closer look at the novel can find the answer to the question "What is love without special effects filters".
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >2, love is phenylethylamine</h1>
In Love in the Time of Cholera, love is like an epidemic that makes Márquez, who has first met love, sleep, diarrhea, spit green water, lose the ability to discern directions, and often faint.
When we describe love, we will always say "blushing heartbeat", "confused love", "sweaty palms", "tea and rice do not think", etc., these abnormal physiological reactions are all reactions to love.
And these reactions, physiologically speaking, are because when the body is stimulated accordingly, a large amount of phenylethylamine is secreted in the body, which is like a grinding little goblin, making people intoxicated and addictive.
When Gao Garin was confessed by Qiaozhen, it was like this-
When He Qiaozhen walked on the empty country road in the evening, his heart was "bang bang bang bang", and his spirit was never tense;
When hearing Qiao Zhen say that he wanted to live with him, the blood "boomed" on his head, his hands and siblings were helpless, "his chest burned like a fire", his muscles contracted, his limbs were numb and stiff, and he was panicked and novel;
Looking at Qiao Zhen's emotional tears, he had a strange passion: there were countless flying color pictures in front of his eyes, countless favorite musical melodies in his ears, the landscapes in reality were illusory; his forehead was hot, and he lost any memory and imagination...
Lu Yao's words are simple and unpretentious, but they can make people who have had emotional experiences feel the high gallins of limbs and hundreds of skeletons by the love that comes to them.
Love as phenylethylamine is a physiological phenomenon, and it is okay to want it to be produced.
For example, in the answer to "how to confess successfully", one way is to use the "suspension bridge effect".
The so-called "suspension bridge effect" is that in an environment that is easy to stress, the secreted phenylethylamine in the body makes people's hearts beat faster, if there are others around at this time, the parties will have the illusion that others will make their hearts move.
In fact, this is also reflected in the scene of Qiao Zhen and Garin confessing, the empty country lanes in the evening are easy to make people feel insecure, and in that era, the contact with the opposite sex is very conservative, and they are all young people, walking side by side, who will not be nervous?
Then there is the touch of the limbs, which will also stimulate the secretion of phenylethylamine in the body.
Remember when Qiaozhen and Garin confessed, the reaction that made Garin "lose any memory and imagination" was that Qiaozhen put her hands on Garin's chest, and the two hot foreheads were pressed together...
Well, the current passes through the body, and the phenylethylamine produced by the stimulation will indeed make people lose their memory for a moment, which is the picture of "electric shock".
Therefore, in the pocket book of the overbearing president, the little secretary in the president's arms was threatened by the president: "Don't move, if you move again, you will bear the consequences!" ", this simple line, but also really let people cover their faces to escape, informative, driving prelude ah...
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >3, love is also "looking" and help when needed</h1>
In love, the physiological response of phenylethylamine is always exciting, which we can call passion.
Gao Garin can obtain love passion in Qiaozhen's confession, which is a prerequisite - Qiaozhen is the most beautiful girl in Gaojia Village. Otherwise, for Gao Garlin, who did not put the illiterate rural girl in his eyes, no matter how dark and silent the country lanes were, no matter how much physical touch, he could not feel the passion of "love is coming".
In addition, Huang Yaping can be looked at by Garindo, also because as a Jiangnan beauty, she is a well-deserved class flower in the class. Otherwise, is there only one Huang Yaping in the class who is a girl?
Yes, love is often "judging people by appearance", although it is a bit contrary to the values of "truth, goodness and beauty", but it is objectively existent.
The statement that "love at first sight is the beginning of the day, and long-term love is a trade-off between the pros and cons" is somewhat extreme, but it is not unreasonable.
Since love has arisen, both parties can't help but want to be together and establish an intimate relationship.
The American writer Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Languages of Love, which mentions 5 forms of intimacy:
1, companionship, and is a very high-quality kind, like the same bed and different dreams, or two people playing their own mobile phones together, these can not be called "companionship".
2, spend money for you, many people will use the way to spend money on each other to express their hearts, although there is nothing wrong with it, but spending money does not necessarily represent careful.
3. Appear when you need it, and give the required help in time.
4, physical contact, the so-called "mouth to say no, the body is very honest" is to say that body language is more direct than language, in the expression of emotion, indispensable.
5, affirm you, praise you, human nature is to like to listen to words in their favor, intimate relationships in the appropriate "rainbow fart" that is quite important.
Looking at Gao Garin's 3 loves, although the 5 forms have appeared to varying degrees, the most important thing is "the help given when needed".
When he was in high school in the county, Gao Garin liked literature and art, inferior and sensitive and proud, he was lonely, but Huang Yaping was able to communicate and share with him in books, music, paintings, and international issues, which gave birth to hazy feelings.
After he lost his position as a private teacher, he was indignant and unwilling, went to the city to sell steamed bread, embarrassed and painful, and then Qiaozhen appeared, saw through all his pain, helped him sell steamed bread, bought him cigarettes, looked up at him, and comforted him. Because the pain brought by the career is diluted by love in the tenderness given by Qiaozhen.
Later, he went to the county town as a traffic officer, although he became a prominent figure, but Huang Yaping's talk and confession in the strange city not only catered to his ideal partner's appearance, but also promised him a great future, he disregarded the principle of being a man, while cursing himself for not being a person, while immersed in the novel world brought to him by Huang Yaping.
Gaugarin's love is very realistic, and love without special effects filters is sometimes really difficult to look at.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >4, love is a sincere commitment and mutual trust</h1>
In psychologist Robert's "love ternary theory", it is believed that love = passion + intimacy + commitment.
Phenylethylamine does not exist for a long time, and even the highest value will be aesthetic fatigue, and in intimate relationships, a lot of effort will become a matter of course.
Therefore, these loves are not long-lasting, and only commitment can make love have a long-term possibility. This is also why people in love always like the mountain alliance sea oath, because the oath is a kind of commitment.
Of course, sincere commitment is based on mutual trust, after all, only by believing in each other can we give heartfelt commitments
The love between Gao Garin and Qiaozhen did not end well in the end, because there was no sincere commitment and trust.
Although determining a relationship can also be regarded as a commitment, the person who is truly committed is Qiaozhen, and the person who believes that the other party can make himself live well is only Qiaozhen, and Garin is only passively accepting, and even never believes that Heqiaozhen can make himself live well.
The so-called slap can not make a sound, Qiaozhen everything for Garin's sake, she is not afraid of the ridicule of the villagers, and even more willing to fall out with her family, even if Garin wants to go to the city to develop, she is encouraged and perfected from the heart, and even helps Garin's parents to do farm work.
On the other hand, Garin, it is true that he loves Qiaozhen, he is afraid that Qiaozhen will tie him to the countryside is also true, he feels that chatting with Qiaozhen is not as interesting as chatting with Huang Yaping, it is true, the future is far more important than Qiaozhen, it is more true.
He never believed from the bottom of his heart that Qiao Zhen said, "You will not be made to suffer", because for him, in the countryside, it is a kind of suffering! Therefore, he has not given Qiao Zhen a sincere commitment to love.
As for Huang Yaping, Gao Garin abandoned Qiaozhen and established a relationship with her, promising her to go to Nanjing together, not so much as a promise to Huang Yaping, but rather to say that Gao Garin gave him a fantasy partner and a promise of future.
So he looked at Huang Yaping, who lost her temper, and thought, "Qiaozhen won't do this", and even missed Qiaozhen's gentleness and obedience.
Without really investing in emotional love, Huang Yaping is beautiful, sends more expensive gifts, has the experience of flaunting the market again, and when the future collapses, the promise he gave no longer exists.
He also never believed that Huang Yaping could see his rural hukou, so he did not go to college and no longer contacted Huang Yaping, and when Huang Yaping impulsively wanted to go to the countryside with him, he also chose to refuse.
Love without sincere commitment and mutual trust is doomed to just miss and regret it.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >5, the vagaries of love, the essence is constant</h1>
Lu Yao is not a pure love novel writer, his love, there is no Adam and Eve fate, nor liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai's life and death, and there is no romance between cowherds and weaver girls.
But the love he writes about has the passion of life, the purity of life, the beauty of life, and the worldliness of life, the helplessness of life, and the wandering of life.
What is love?
For example, "A thousand readers have a thousand Hamlets", the answer to this question is also different for everyone.
Just peel off the cloak of love, and you will find that naked love, which is initially just the phenylethylamine that makes you blush and beat your heart, then grows in the interactive exchange of mutual needs, and then thrives on the trust accumulated by each other, eternal under each other's sincere commitment.
About the author: Purple Dust Jingxue, a married and elderly girl after 90, studies gender relations and marriage relations, and firmly believes that parents are short and short.