What do you do if the other half has someone else in mind after marriage?
After getting married, I found that the other half could not forget the ex.
This is more terrifying than meeting true love after marriage, because the ex is an intimate relationship that has already existed, and basically no one can easily forget it. But when you want to talk to him, you will be disappointed, because he will say that he has forgotten, does not want to mention, and keeping a picture of his ex is just a habit...
Some people may really not pay attention to it, but some people have impulsiveness in their hearts after learning that their ex broke up and divorced. As a result, the partner's ex has also become a marital crisis, but as long as it is handled properly, the relationship between the two people can still be re-consolidated.
1. Look first at the frequency with which "other people" appear in married life.
If your partner's ex, or someone he likes later, doesn't interfere with your life, he doesn't talk to you often, doesn't always compare you to her, and doesn't mention her, especially when you're out of control, saying you're inferior to her, then rest assured that he can still tell the difference between imagination and reality.
If you find that he is gradually reducing the attention and companionship he is giving to you, and dividing up time for another person, whether the other person responds or not, it means that he is not getting the emotional needs he wants from you.
At this time, you can see what the person he likes can provide for him, whether it is the psychological pleasure of love and not touching himself, whether it is the comfort and companionship when quarreling and losing, or the like-mindedness of the three views of the career, only when the emotional needs are satisfied, the core of the relationship has continuity.
2. Accepting that "other people" are likely to exist in marriage.
Although marriage is one-sided, human nature is like this. When losing a relationship, it can be difficult to distinguish between the "imaginary she" and the real-life ex who has broken up. For example, obviously because the run-in can not be separated, can not stand each other's temper, after the separation of this memory will fade, leaving a deep impression, are with the ex's good memories, the idealized imagination of the ex.
Even if he does not have an ex and is not satisfied with marriage, he may transfer his emotional sustenance to another person. At this time, he will fantasize that if he works harder, is braver, and takes a step back, will it be different? The destructive power of this imagination on marriage is enormous, especially when the real feelings are not ideal, and people love to live in fantasy. At this time, it is necessary to participate in more activities with him, and use the happy memories of two people together to cover the nostalgia for the past.
3. The role that the positive "other person" plays between the feelings of two people.
Quarrels, tantrums, and catharsis are all just a quick moment and do not play a key role in this problem. If there is one more person in the relationship between two people, it must be a potential problem with the relationship. Whether he put it into action or not, you can talk to him about how this person feels for him.
For example, take this opportunity to let him rebuild his self-identification, to think about what he likes and dislikes in the relationship, if the two of you can't agree in the end, and no one is willing to make compromise changes for each other, even if you end up separated, you won't be so unwilling.
Marriage is a practice, all the way to the wind without encountering any temptation, that is a situation of one in a thousand, the most important thing is to know how to deal with the marriage crisis, in order to keep yourself from falling behind.