In crisis situations, especially in situations where safety and survival are concerned, the subject is manipulated by the reptile brain and it is easy to exhibit snake-like behavior — without thinking, the main manifestation of behavior is conditioned reflexive.
Evasive or offensive, suspicious and sensitive, even murderous.
The famous fable "The Farmer and the Snake" is a vivid and accurate description of snake nature - one cold winter, a farmer found a frozen snake on his way home, felt pity, and put it in his arms. When the snake was warmed and awakened, it bit the farmer.
Many people who read this story feel that the snake is too cold, cruel, and ungrateful.
In fact, the snake only shows its instincts. When people are in danger, their hearts are full of anger, fear and sadness, they will also show more snake nature, as cold and indifferent as snakes, unable to think in a different position, not grateful, so there is
Grace will take revenge on the statement.
I remember a woman who, in the eyes of others, her father was very talented and cultivated, and loved her very much, but she did not react to the love conveyed by her father, sometimes showed impatience, and even expressed the idea of hoping that her father would be surprised; she was also disgusted by her mother's words and deeds, all of which were incomprehensible.
It wasn't until one day that she told me about her past that I learned that when she was a teenager, her father had sexually assaulted and violently abused her; my mother knew it, but she was indifferent to fear of her father.
▷ Reactions that violate common sense generally imply an unknown past and pain.
The part of our reptile brain, the main function of snake nature, is to protect us in danger. For example, when our hands touch the stove, we take our hands away without thinking; when we encounter danger, we instinctively flee.
One lady told me she wanted to divorce her lover. I asked why, and she said that after so many years of marriage, she was desperate to find out that her husband was a man who had ignored her life and death. I said, "Can you tell me exactly what happened?" ”
She said: "One day she and her husband were walking on the road and suddenly a car came up behind and almost hit them. The gentleman paid no attention to her at all, and fled to the side of the road with an arrow, leaving her alone on the road. Now that I think about it, if that driver really hit him, it must have been her who died. ”
We often see people in movies who are loved by themselves and put their lives and deaths on the line, such as the male protagonist in "Titanic", who would rather choose to sacrifice himself for the woman he loves.
The woman said: "I don't dare to ask people to sacrifice their lives for me, but he can at least remind me, or push me, but he ran away by himself." I think one day in danger, let him choose, he must be to protect himself, sacrifice me.
"Women are born for love, but in my life I have encountered such a timid, selfish, self-conscious, self-conscious, regardless of my life and death..."
I listened quietly, and a great sadness arose in my heart: how many people compared their lives based on the plot of the movie, and then felt sad and unloved loneliness. But is that really the case?
I said to her, "Honey, imagine what you would do when you were walking down the street and a car suddenly sped past you. Do you think first: Am I hiding, or am I standing still? ”
She mused for a moment and said, "I won't think about it, I'll dodge it right away." I continued to ask, "And then what?" ”
"Then I'll find my heart beating faster, maybe shaking, and I'm terrified." She replied.
"If your lover is with you, will you remind him and push him and run again?" At this point, she smiled sheepishly and said, "No." ”
When everyone encounters a sudden crisis, they instinctively choose to avoid it without being unconscious. This kind of behavior, which can be said to be a protective act of life safety, is the duty of our crawling brain, the snake nature.
Not at the level of intellectual, moral, and conscious control.
I remember that when the Wenchuan earthquake occurred, a teacher did not care about the students, ran out first, and was accused by the media. There are also many lovers, because of the instinctive snake nature, long trapped in resentment and contempt for each other.
In fact, each of us, in a sudden danger, may do the same thing - to take care of ourselves and not to care about others; this is not a choice, but an instinctive reaction.
Human nature is to be strict with oneself and lenient to others; not to be afraid of danger, to put others before oneself; to care for and love others, to abide by social morality, and to sacrifice oneself for the benefit of everyone.
It is difficult to measure and demand human animal behavior by the standards of human nature, and it is difficult not to be disappointed, not to be miserable, not to despair.
We must understand the animal attributes of ourselves and others, demand ourselves according to human standards, and understand and tolerate others with animal standards.
Because each of us is in a crisis, emotional turmoil, exhaustion, or want to meet our own urgent needs, we can all be snake-like. Wolves are ruthless, snakes are cold-blooded, and people are difficult to understand! Everyone has done a "snake", and everyone is easy to become a snake in human skin.
Everyone, including themselves, may be "inferior to the beast." Knowing this, life will be a lot less disappointed and less painful.
Get to know others and let them go.