Why more and more women are afraid of having children, after reading this you will understand!

Author:Sa Jie (Attending Physician of Obstetrics and Gynecology)

Sister Sa's childhood was raised in the hospital's family hospital.

The family home where we live is separated from the hospital campus by only one road and two walls. The children around me, the parents are basically a person or a hospital worker, whether it is a doctor or a nurse or a logistician.

At that time, I was full of curiosity and fear in the maternity room. I was curious because I knew that there was a child inside, but I didn't know exactly how to give birth to a child; the fear was that there would often be a scream inside, just like the sweaty picture in the TV series, which made me think that having a child must be a very scary and terrible thing.

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Later I went to school and studied clinical medicine, until I actually entered the delivery room when I interned, and my mother, my aunt and sister, worked in this environment for many years, as if everyone had become commonplace, and many people felt:

Giving birth to children is like this, and who has children without sin?

Aren't all women going to have children? How lonely and pitiful it would be if there were no children in one's life!

I once watched those pregnant women cry and cry in pain, and I thought silently in my heart:

How painful is it to have a baby?

I once removed stitches for a pregnant woman who was cut laterally from her perineum, and although I felt that my hand was already very light, many of them would still remove one from me, and the pain trembled a little, and at that time I also secretly thought:

Such a small line, dismantling it can make people tremble with pain, is it really so painful?

Later, all these questions, after I gave birth to a child myself, after experiencing it myself, finally had the exact feeling and answer.

I was lucky that I didn't experience an obvious early pregnancy reaction in the early days of my pregnancy. I didn't vomit violently, and I suffered a lot less than those pregnant women who couldn't even drink saliva as soon as I got pregnant, so I kept going to work.

But I was sleepy, my body temperature was rising, I was lazy, as if every bone was lazy, I wanted to sleep every moment, and no amount of sleep felt, I couldn't relieve the exhaustion deep in my body.

My whole pregnancy was also lucky, all the examinations went smoothly, there were no accidents, there was no unexpected bleeding during the whole pregnancy, and no problems were found in the large row of deformities, but despite this, the feeling of worrying as if it had passed was still fresh in my memory.

When I was four or five months pregnant, I was in the outpatient clinic with a big belly, and I encountered several couples who found problems in obstetric examinations and had to come to induce labor, just by looking at them, I could feel their inner sadness.

I did not experience the pain of pubic separation, unable to walk, but in the third trimester of pregnancy my feet were puffy, originally wearing size 36 shoes, I could only buy size 40, I could not stand for a long time, a cesarean section down two feet swollen walking feeling is not their own, this is the sa sister my foot at that time:

Image source: The Doctor's Tale

Luckily, my blood pressure was normal and I was much luckier than the patient who had been admitted to the intensive care unit because of eclampsia.

In the third trimester, bending over was already difficult for me, I couldn't stand in the clinic to give the patient a white belt, I needed to move a stool and sit down to get things done without holding myself up. But it's much better than my colleague who broke the water early in the third trimester, the adult suffered, and the child had to live in the NICU.

I once did an internal examination of patients, looked at the twisted and painful expressions on their faces, and felt that I obviously didn't use much force, was it really so uncomfortable? Later, I also did an internal inspection myself, and after the internal examination, I not only had a distorted expression on my face, but also ripped off the button on the top of my mother's white coat standing next to me.

I've always felt that the luckiest thing is that when I give birth, there are already painless births available. But before the painless delivery was hit, I finally experienced the pain of contractions, and every time the pain came, I wanted to grab everything I could, grabbed the quilt, grabbed the railing, grabbed my husband's hand, and almost broke his belt.

After the painless, although these pains were reduced, after I actually went to the delivery bed, I used the strength to feed the baby, so that I finally understood the women who screamed in the delivery room.

I was vaginal, cut laterally, with three stitches. When stitching, the anesthesia of childbirth analgesia has not yet ended, the side incision has also done local anesthesia, and the aunt who sewed the needle for me is also known for being fast and good, and as a result, every time the needle goes in and out, my two strands of battle tremble and finally understand the patients who are still trembling when stitching and removing stitches, although I already feel that my hands are very light.

But this is not the end, the postpartum body is weak, every contraction pain, full of pressure sweat, let me such a woman almost burst into tears...

Then there is the milk, the various pains of breastfeeding, the mild vaginal wall bulging and leakage of urine, all kinds of tiredness of taking care of the child, I really feel that I am lucky, because of the help of the elderly, the husband is also a force, before I give birth, I still have the plan to have two.

After giving birth, I decided categorically that I would not have a second child.

Why? Because I don't want to repeat all that I've suffered.

Some people don't understand, why are girls now afraid of having children?

I think it's normal. Because the times are developing, human society is constantly progressing, and people's consciousness and methods of looking at problems are constantly changing.

In today's information is so developed, we can more fully understand what the matter of having children will bring to women.

I often say that having children is a risky thing in itself, and it is not an exaggeration to say that having children was called "ghost gate" in the past when medical care was not developed. Even if you don't feel empathy for yourself, you can still understand what having a child may bring through a variety of channels:

Weight gain, change of form, nausea and vomiting after pregnancy, skin darkening and long spots, hair loss, waist pain, leg pain, foot swelling, foot pain, poor sleep, inconvenient movement, these are still mild.

Accidents that may occur during pregnancy and puerperium, various complications that may endanger the life of the child and the mother, pain during childbirth, pelvic floor muscle dysfunction that may be faced after childbirth, leakage of urine, organ prolapse, the hardship of breastfeeding and caring for the child, as well as the family pressure contradictions that may be faced in this process, the responsibilities that need to be borne in the days after birth, and the various difficulties that need to be faced in the parenting process are all factors that make girls who have not given birth to children afraid.

When I had never had a child, I knew all this, but I had not experienced it, and when I experienced it all myself, I was more determined to truly control my womb.

So I'll tell people who always feel "taken for granted" about having children:

Don't think that having children is a woman's "deserved", although a woman is born with a womb, but this does not mean that having children must be an obligation that she must fulfill.

I never regret having children myself, but I also understand all women who don't have children because of this:

When a thing is known to be risky, then women should have this choice, that is, whether I want to give birth, whether I want to take this risk, this is not a thing worth paying, because this may be a deal that costs my own life.

Don't talk to me about "you are selfish, you are indifferent, what if human beings like you are extinct", I can say this:

Cautious procreation is also a kind of genetic screening of survival of the fittest, and anyway, all the people who can see me writing these words, we will not live to the day of human extinction.

This article is reprinted with permission from the WeChat public account "Doctor Girl Biography", if you need to reprint, please contact the original author.