Text: Shallow Water Fish (Reading History Columnist)
Mr. Liang Qichao is known as "the first Chinese intellectual", looking at history, you will see that his evaluation is as follows: a famous politician, thinker, historian, educator, and writer in modern China, with the most remarkable achievements in historical research, is an encyclopedic figure in modern and modern history.
Because of his identity, I always felt that he should be the kind of parent who does not smile and is strict and stereotyped at home. Recently, I read "Liang Qichao's Family Letter" and watched his communication with his children, which completely subverted my image positioning of him. It turned out that he was an emotionally rich and strict father!
Liang Qichao raised nine children in his lifetime, in order: SiShun, Sicheng, Siyong, Sizhong, Sizhuang, Sida, Siyi, Sining, and Sili. Among them, Si Shun, Si Cheng, and Si Zhuang were born to the original wife Li Huixian, and Si Yong, Si Zhong, Si Da, Si Yi, Si Ning, and Si Li were born to the second lady, Wang Guiquan.
His nine children all had their own achievements: the eldest daughter Sishun was an expert in poetry; the eldest son Sicheng, the second son Siyong, and the youngest son SiLi, who had great achievements in architecture, archaeology, and rocket system control, respectively, and became academicians of the Chinese Academy of Sciences; the other children were famous librarians, economists, social activists, and soldiers, and each child found his own direction in life and fought for his career throughout his life.
"Liang Qichao's Family Letter" contains more than a hundred letters written by Liang Qichao to his children, in which he will also educate and guide his children, but more often he communicates and talks like friends.
What touched me the most was the close relationship between him and the children, his daughter Sishun became an adult and became a family, he also claimed to be called "Baby Sishun", and the same was true for other children, "Xiaozhuangzhuang", "Old White Nose (baby)", "Sima Yi", "Liu Liu" are his daily nicknames for children.
How lucky the child should be to have a father so lovely!
Loving a daughter is known to all
Some people say that "the daughter is the lover of the father's past life", and Liang Qichao's love for his daughter is the best proof of this sentence, especially for the eldest daughter Liang Sishun.
For Liang Qichao, Sishun is both a daughter, a friend, and an assistant at work, and most of his family letters are written to Sishun.
Si Shun studied abroad, because of academic tension, desperately working hard, Liang Qichao continued to write letters of encouragement, lest his daughter affect her health due to study.
Letter to Si Shun on December 16, 1912:
"There must be rest on days (Sundays) and more games and exercise. ...... Ru must obey my wishes, and if you want to get sick quickly, it is a great filial piety. Ru must know that Ru is the root of my life. I will not allow You to be sick either. ”
Letter to Liang Sishun on December 18, 1912:
"The name of my beloved daughter is known to the whole country, so those who meet each other ask Ru, but no one asks the following. ...... You don't have to be too anxious to study, every fourteen hours is always too much, stay two or three months, it doesn't matter. ”
When Liang Qichao was sick, he missed Sishun especially, wanted to let her know, and was afraid that she would worry after she knew, and the contradiction overflowed the pen.
Letter to Liang Sishun on April 18, 1913:
"Whenever I am unwell, I call Ru's name and talk about masturbation, I did not want to tell Ru, but writing a letter also slightly relieves my worries." But RuJue is not allowed to be absurd or sick because of worrying about me, and Gol is a heavy worry. ”
Liang Qichao returned to reunite with his family, but Si Shun was still not allowed to see each other abroad, and his miss became more intense.
Letter to Si Shun on January 15, 1923:
"Baby Sishun, I'll get in the car now and go home, tomorrow night with your mother and siblings, and now I think of you very much." ...... Haven't drunk alcohol in months, two days home is your mother's birthday, I want to break the vows to drink once, do you promise to agree? ”
Letter to Si Shun on August 1, 1923:
"Baby Sishun, get the call back, great comfort." Because I have not been able to believe in Ru for a long time, the nerve effect is unprovoked to suspect that Ru has a sick ear. ...... I told Sizhuang that when my sister comes back next year, I will take your sisters to visit places, and I will not take boys with me. ”
Si Shun took his sister Si Zhuang to study abroad, and his father's concern for his daughter was suddenly doubled.
April 17, 1925 To SiShun and Sizhuang:
"Baby Sishun, Little Baby Zhuangzhuang, after you left, I was lonely." ...... Si Shun has left me many times, so I don't know how, Zhuang Zhuang has been next to me every day for several months, and once I travel away, I feel a little sad in my heart. But for your academic success, you can't help but endure these years. ”
Reading Liang Qichao's letter to his daughter, I think he really can express emotions, which is rare as a father. Since ancient Times in China, the word "father" has its own majesty, and fathers' love for their children is often implicit. Children may be able to play with their fathers when they are young, and few fathers are particularly intimate with adult children, and Liang Qichao is obviously an exception. He did not hesitate to express his love and longing for his daughter, so much so that "the name of the beloved daughter is known throughout the country." ”
Liang Sizhuang
It is precisely because of the love of his father that Liang Qichao's children are tenacious, especially Sishun. The eldest sister is like a mother, and after the death of her parents, she becomes a solid support for her younger siblings. Later, her husband died early, and she raised four children alone, which was difficult to imagine.
Some people say that children who are pampered by their parents from an early age will be more selfish and unloving, which is a misunderstanding of "pampering". "Pampering" is not "coddling", parents love their children, how much love to give is not excessive, all acts and words of love, will slowly penetrate into the blood of children, so that they become warm and powerful.
Teach careful care by example
There is a saying in the Three Character Classic that "if you do not teach, the father is at fault", and the father plays an important role in the education of the child. As a father, Liang Qichao carefully guides the children in major events and small things to escort their growth.
For social responsibility, he admonished Sishun as follows:
Letter to Si Shun on December 2, 1919:
"I have to be very happy on the twenty-first day of October, and I must always do my best in society to be worthy of my beloved son." In life, we often have to think about the grace of society, because one point of one's own status is one point, and everyone has something to do. ”
Letter to Si Shun on November 5, 1923:
"I often say that the cause of the world does not matter how big or small, but the ultimate achievement of the scholar and the doctor is the same as the achievement of the farmer in the good governance of his ten acres of land. As long as you do your best within your own responsibilities, you are a first-class person. ”
Although Liang Qichao always holds his daughter Zhuang Zhuang in the palm of his hand, he does not allow her to have a heart of dependence, and still has requirements for her study and life. The width is wide, the strict is strict, because he has clear standards, the child's behavior is based on evidence.
Book to the children on July 10, 1925:
"When I say that you (Sizhuang) 'don't be childish,' I mean that you should make up your own mind about the right things, such as doing your homework and taking care of your own affairs. As for being a little childish, it is good. You see Daddy sometimes has a 'childlike heart'. ...... As for not being able to enter the university, what is the point of this, 'seeking learning is not seeking a diploma', always building the thicker the foundation of the wall, the better. ”
Book for children from February 6 to 16, 1927:
"I'm a little reluctant to let you (Sizhuang) be alone over there, fortunately, you have grown into a big child, I am all assured, your money last year was used very sparingly, which shows that you are very cautious." But I don't want you to work too hard, since you are all very disciplined children and will not spend money indiscriminately, then you don't have to be too bitter, but become shabby. You hurry up and set your budget, and everything may as well be loosened. ”
After the death of Sishun's mother, because several of the eldest children were abroad, the funeral matters were prepared by Sishun's second uncle, so Liang Qichao wrote the following words to the children, educating them to understand gratitude. This is also teaching children to be human.
Book to the children on September 13, 1925:
"These things should have been done by the cheng and the eternals, but now they are far away, and they are loyal and forced by the school class, and they cannot do anything, and if they do not have this loving uncle, they really do not know how to do it." I plan to go to the burial and ask the loyalists to kowtow to the second uncle. Although you are far away, you must also write a letter to each of you, earnestly thank chen (Zhuang Zhuang should also write), and write letters to the second uncle even more. This kind of gift of children must always be cared about, so as to be a good child of our family. ”
Liang Qichao's nine children have become talents, after all, it is inseparable from his education methods and educational philosophy, when Liang Sicheng was distressed that the practicality of the profession he had learned was not strong, he gave Sicheng this explanation:
Si Cheng's letter asked the difference between useful and useless, this question is easy to answer, try to ask Tang Kaiyuan, Tianbaojian Li Bai, Du Fu compared with Yao Chong, Song Jing, who has contributed to the country? For the sake of Chinese cultural history and the cultural history of all mankind, whether Yao and Song Zhi have it or not is not a matter of fact, if there is no Li and Du, how much will history be reduced? ...... I am most impressed by Zeng Wenzheng's two sentences in my life: 'Don't ask about the harvest, but ask about the cultivation'. What will happen in the future, and what do you want him to do now? What is he anxious about? On the one hand, we must not be arrogant and slow, on the other hand, we must not be cowardly and self-discouraged, do our best to do it, do what is where it is, so that you can be intrusive and self-satisfied, and there will always be much contribution to society. I have devoted my life to this point, and I hope that you will all apply this spirit of mine. ”
When children encounter difficulties outside, Liang Qichao is their strong spiritual support. "Don't ask about the harvest, but ask about the cultivation", he took this as his motto, and also used this to comfort his children and inspire them to forge ahead.
A book was written to the children on January 27, 1927
"Shun'er is not right to be anxious and depressed... Whoever is anxious and depressed is useless, it is worth worrying about it, and I have always thought so about my personal situation... Now in this difficult situation is the best opportunity to hone your body and mind, it is not easy to encounter in your whole career, you have to thank God Yucheng for your kindness, at this moment to do 'do not change his pleasure' to be worthy of Daddy's most beloved child. ”
Book to the children on May 5, 1927
"Although Daddy loves you, he never tolerates coddling, and often hopes that you will hone your personality in hardship and danger... I myself often feel that I want to be a model of my own personality as a young man, or at least worthy of being a model of your sisters and brothers. I also believe that my children will all be subjected to my inheritance and lessons, and will not fall because of the hardships or comforts of the environment. ”
Helpers give everything they can
Liang Qichao has good intentions for his children's achievements, and he would rather save elsewhere than let his children owe money in education.
In order to make the second son Siyong make progress in archaeology, Liang Qichao personally contacted him to participate in the archaeological excavation of the famous archaeologist Li Ji in Shanxi at his own expense, and also contacted the Swedish archaeologist Sven Hedin to let Liang Siyong participate in his archaeological activities at his own expense. In April 1927, three consecutive long letters discussed the itinerary with Si Yong.
April 21, 1927 To Si Yongshu
"I want to calculate for your learning, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, if you miss it, you want to run to the Xinjiang desert by yourself in the future. So I asked you to join in and bring your own axe — because you can't share that little money with those Beijing groups (poor money) — and today decent people are sent to contact Harding, and tomorrow they can reply to the letter, and it is expected that they will succeed. ”
In order to help Liang Sicheng understand Western art and architecture, Liang Qichao specially raised five thousand US dollars to let Liang Sicheng and Lin Huiyin, who graduated and newly married, return to China through Europe to spend their honeymoon and inspection.
Letter to Sisi on December 18, 1927
"I plan for you, after going to England, I will go to Sweden and Norway, because the Nordic region is very distinctive, and the municipal government is also very strict and innovative, and it must be carried out... From entering Germany, in addition to a few ancient cities, the famous fortress on the Rhine river is best to see one or two, turn back into Switzerland to see some natural beauty, and then enter Italy, delay a few more days, and thoroughly study and understand the beauty of the Renaissance era. Finally, he returned to France, boarded a ship in Marseille, or to Spain, where Liu Zikai served as a minister, which was very convenient, and the European culture of the Middle Ages and the early modern era was centered on Spain. It would be better to free up some time and money in the middle to go to Turkey and look at Muslim architecture and art, along with looking at the post-revolutionary politics of Turkey (for me). ”
It should be known that this Zhang Luo was only one year before Liang Qichao's death, when he was seriously ill, often had blood in his stool, was extremely miserable, and his family was no longer rich. In terms of paying attention to his children's education and future, Liang Qichao can be said to be doing his best.
After reading "Liang Qichao's Family Letter", I understood that Liang Qichao's children can achieve not only the strength of their genes, but also the way he gets along with his children. There is now a saying that "for children, a good relationship is more important than a good education", and Liang Qichao's intimate relationship with his children laid the foundation for their later achievements.
Liang Qichao worried about the country and the people, and spent his life rushing for the rise and fall of the country, but he still used his own unique educational methods to moisten his knowledge and perception on his children, so that the nine children had their own achievements, which can be called a model of Chinese family education.