As the saying goes, "Talking about money hurts feelings", this sentence is quite reasonable.
No matter what kind of relationship it is, the problem of money is not handled well, and it is very likely that the feelings will be hurt in the end. Especially in love, once one party always makes financial demands on the other party, it has been detached from the purity of love, and the final outcome must be bleak plus a chicken feather.
Borrowed her mother's family to raise her boyfriend for eight years
Cortana, 39, has been married without a marriage license and has a child. Eight years ago, Xiaona met her current boyfriend Xiao Li. Xiao Li did not mind her past, and the two quickly established a relationship.
Now eight years have passed, there are many contradictions between the two, for the borrowed money, Xiao Li always says to deal with it, but there is always no following.
Xiaona is almost forty years old, she has lost her family for this relationship, and she has also taken the best youth of a woman, but now she has nothing, and the daily life of the two of them has become a problem.
Coming to Xiaona and Xiao li to rent a relatively high-end community, Xiaona said that the annual rent will be 20,000.
As soon as she entered the door, the floor was full of glass slag, and Xiaona admitted that it was last night that she was angry and picked up a cup and fell.
Xiao Li stood aside and said calmly that he was used to it, and he did not smash it once or twice.
The two had been arguing the night before because of debt.
Xiao Li's words seem to be inclusive, but in fact, they are yin and yang, implying accusations. In fact, as the initiator who made Xiaona lose control of her emotions, he himself also has a certain responsibility.
Xiaona counted her financial contributions to this family over the past eight years.
She borrowed 260,000 yuan from her mother, 60,000 from her sister, and also borrowed 200,000 online loans, all of which Xiao Li helped her operate.
This money is the parents' pension money, and now the sister also owes a lot of money to build a house, but Xiao Li can't come up with the money to pay them back, and in the past eight years, Xiaona has successfully brought her family to the pit.
For these debts raised by Xiaona, Xiao Li admitted very dryly, it was indeed the family money borrowed by Xiaona.
As for the use, about 130,000 people bought cars and invested in the earth and stone business.
The remaining more than 300,000 yuan were all spent in the daily life of the two, in Xiao Li's words, that is, the two enjoyed life together.
When the two moved to the current house, Xiao Li said that such a big house, there is no TV is not very good, Xiaona had to find her sister to borrow 5500 yuan to buy a TV.
Later, the two had no money to pay the rent, and her sister transferred 15,000 yuan to her.
Every time Cortana said that there was an emergency, she did not dare to tell them the real situation.
The only sister was in a hurry to use the money, and the sister did not think much about it, so she lent her the money.
Xiaona's mother did business WeChat collection tied to her account, the money collected was all embezzled by the two people, and later, the handing over water, electricity, gas and everything had to manage the mother to ask for money.
Although Xiaona's mother is suspicious, but her daughter is here, if she does not give money, she can't live anymore, and there is no way, so she has to keep paying money, so that now the lives of the two old people have become a problem.
For the past eight years, neither of them has worked, and Xiaona has always stayed at home, because Xiao Li said that he did not need Xiaona to go out to work.
In addition to a few investment failures, Xiao Li has not worked normally, and when there is nothing to do, both of them stay at home, but where the family needs money, they rely on Xiaona to borrow money to spend.
In life, Xiao Li cleverly put all the financial pressure on Xiaona's body, and he did not even do a credit card.
In the past eight years, the two have often quarreled over economic problems, but every time they quarrel, Xiao Li came over and coaxed the two to get together again.
It was eight years long, but if the two of them could find a job at will, their lives would not go so far.
Although the two borrowed money to live, the standard of living did not decrease at all, not only rented a house for 20,000 years, but both of them were dressed quite fashionably.
Xiaona said that the clothes on her body were only a few dozen yuan, but Xiao Li said with sarcasm, you will know when you go to the closet.
Both wardrobes in the house are hung with all kinds of women's coats and cotton jackets.
Xiao Li pushed open the door of another cabinet, and only a few pieces of clothing were in stark contrast to Xiaona's wardrobe.
Xiao Li believes that Xiao Na has followed him for eight years, and she has lived well and has not been wronged at all. Although the two did not make much money, the consumption was not low at all, and she did not spend less money.
Xiao Li's face of these three views is really breathtaking, he does not want to be responsible, relying on women to borrow money to support, but he reveals accusations against Xiaona's behavior, and he also rightly says that Xiaona has not been wronged by following him.
It's not that Xiaona has no problems, it's just that Xiao Li didn't accuse her of her position.
Xiaona knows that the two are borrowing money to live a life, and they can live so moistly, and when they spend money, they have not thought about the situation of their parents and sisters at all, which is enough to prove that the two are a hill, and they are really not a family, and they do not enter a family.
Xiaona said that Xiao Li asked her to come to Zhengzhou to ask her to come and do business, who knew that the business was not done. Neither of them had a job, no financial resources, and she was worried now.
But this is not a problem that can be solved by worrying, it is a problem that can only be solved by action.
As a woman, if after contact with a man, you find that he is not self-motivated and does not have the ability to support a family, the best way is to stop the loss in time, rather than obediently staying here and being used by him for eight years.
Xiaona felt that she was not used to life in Zhengzhou, and with Xiao Li's business failing again and again, she also thought about breaking up and leaving, but every time Xiao Li threatened her.
Whenever Xiaona wanted to break up, Xiao Li said pitifully that if Xiaona left, he would not even be able to rent a house. In Xiaona's view, this is Xiao Li's threat to her.
If the two break up, but they are just two unrelated people, he rents or not rents a house, what does it have to do with himself? She wasn't his parents, and even if she was a parent, she could let go when she was an adult.
In this way, the two kept arguing, and kept reconciling, and kept looping down like this, and Xiaona stayed by Xiao Li's side as her cash machine.
Now the parents also have no money in their hands, if Xiao Li does not repay the money, the life of the old couple has become a problem, and the sister is also in debt to the people who built the house, and it is impossible to lend them money again.
Xiao Li said that he went out to work for a year last year, presumably because Xiaona could no longer borrow money to maintain the lives of the two, and was forced to go to work.
Xiao Li said that when the two first met, he also rushed to get married. It's just that he wants to wait until the economic conditions are better before considering marriage.
Later, the two stayed together for a long time, and various contradictions came out, and in the middle of the way he found that the two were not suitable, but he had been maintaining it, thinking of returning the money, if he could get by.
He also went out for a year last year, and when Cortana wasn't around, he was able to do something.
Because Xiaona, whether he came back at ten or eleven or twelve, she would pull him to quarrel until three or four o'clock.
This made him completely unequivocal to work, as soon as it came to repaying the money, Xiaona said to him in a condescending tone, you are still ah, pay it back now!
Xiaona always talks about borrowing money, and feels that Xiao Li should be grateful to her, and he also admits that he should be grateful, but at the same time, Xiaona should also consider that it is not easy for him to work hard outside as a man.
Xiao Li pushed the reason for his inability to make money on XiaoNa, even if Xiao Na really stirred up trouble, but in the past eight years, Xiao Li has not taken on the responsibility of this family is also objectively existing.
The economic burden of the past eight years has all been on Xiaona's body, so that Xiaona owes a debt of ass, from this point of view, Xiao Li only uses Xiaona, not love.
The previous efforts to maintain it were only because being with Cortana could bring him the security of life. And now Xiaona can no longer borrow money, but wants him to provide for it, and it is time to get rid of the burden.
And Xiaona is not an ordinary fool, not only by borrowing money to maintain the life of the two, but also together for eight years, and have not seen the other party to give a promise, Xiao Li's purpose is actually obvious, but Xiaona has been foolishly paying.
Xiao Li can speak eloquently, and he feels that he has paid for himself in the past eight years and has also taken on the responsibility of his family.
But in fact, there is no, in the eight years, he has many opportunities, through his own efforts to maintain the normal operation of the family, but he has been relying on Cortana to borrow money to survive.
Both of them have high ambitions and want to do big things, but they don't have that ability, and they don't want to find a job to support themselves.
At this point, the two can only settle the economic account and peacefully break up is the best result.
The psychological counselor said that the reason why Xiaona fell into such a field is because her sense of self-identity is very low, and Xiao Li took advantage of this to provide emotional value for Xiaona and form a entangled relationship between the two of them.
And Xiaona in this relationship, the longer the time, the more she pays, the more difficult it is for her to bear the loss and pain caused by the breakup, and the less likely it is to stop the loss, resulting in the final total annihilation.
It is like buying stocks and being trapped, you will involuntarily struggle with the time, money, and meat cut during this period, and you will not feel willing, and you will not be able to make a judgment calmly and stop the loss in time.
Bo Jie's point of view:
Minglan once said: Once you have entered the poor alley, you should turn around in time, and you should not wait for a lifetime to wear it down, and it is too late to regret it. This means that when you find that you have hit the south wall, you should turn back in time, don't wait until you have been inside for a lifetime, and then regret it too late.
Xiaona just didn't turn back in time, making people angry and indisputable, and inevitably mourning their misfortune.
When she woke up and prepared to leave, she did not firm her thoughts, and was easily pulled back by Xiao Li's ridiculous reasons, making people think that she was too uncontroversial.
In the whole thing, she is a victim, and people can't help but sympathize. But at the same time, the current situation is also caused by her own lack of correct three views, and people can't help but say that they deserve it! If you can get out early, there will be no such situation.
As the saying goes, playing iron also needs to be hard, girls should cultivate the correct three views, understand that happiness should be created by their own hands, the pie will not fall in the sky, and never pin the hope of happiness on others.
In a word, no matter in what relationship, once someone frequently withdraws money with you, then you must be cautious and think twice.