Obviously, he is a three-year-old child, but the words spoken and the behavior he shows have obvious signs of comparison. For children's love of comparison, most parents do not approve of it and do not allow it. In the minds of parents, the act of comparison is caused by vanity, which is easy to make children go astray, develop incorrect consumption concepts and money concepts, and even affect their psychological development.
In principle, three-year-old children should be naïve and ignorant of the world, because their cognitive and comprehension ability is limited, they do not understand many things in the outside world, and they should not have a comparison psychology. At this time, parents should find reasons from themselves, rather than blindly counting and educating their children.
The comparison psychology to be mentioned here is not only for matter, but also for other aspects. For example: see other children being praised, but also try to do a good job to be praised; there are people around who are brave and strong, and they must also be "strong"; for learning, there are also almost obsessive ideas, always want to surpass others to get "first".
Why do children have a comparison mentality?
In fact, it is normal for children to have a comparison mentality, especially material comparison, which is their nature. Because they do not understand the constraint of psychology and behavior, it is inevitable that they will like the objects of other children when they see them. The good thing is that the child knows not to rush forward, but hopes that the parents will fulfill this wish.
Through the behavior of comparison, the child has gained a certain sense of security and achievement in his heart, especially after being satisfied by his parents, he will be happier inside. And comparison is also a way for children to integrate into "society", children's world is very simple, many good friends are through "material show-off" in exchange.
Most of the time, the child's comparison psychology arises because of the lack of identity.
They want to be recognized by their peers, they want to feel safe with their parents, nothing more. Therefore, if you look at the children's comparison psychology from another angle, you will think that they are also very cute, but they just don't know how to express.
Of course, comparison should also be treated differently. In life, the comparison of three-year-old children is divided into two situations: one is that others have it, and I also want to have it; the other is that I am better than others. The former kind of comparison may be the "war of words" between children, who do not want to show weakness in front of people, and there is no logic to follow; but the latter kind of comparison is different, and the child has a sick psychology, whether it is material or learning, or other aspects, always thinking of surpassing others.
Therefore, the children who educate the comparison must also find the right reasons, so that they can get out of the "comparison" misunderstanding.
Parents with high emotional intelligence use these few tricks to repel their children's comparison heart
The first trick: change your child's cognition
From now on, it is necessary to change the child's inherent cognition through words, behaviors, etc. In life, let children understand a series of disadvantages of comparison and change their mentality. Many times, children do not understand the comparison, but simply want to satisfy vanity, want to show off themselves.
Parents can tell their children that there are many ways to become excellent, and trying to do their own things well in life will also become the envy of children. Even if it is a small thing, as long as you can do it independently, it is excellent.
The second trick: teach the child to understand the need
In life, everyone will have desires, and there are items that they want and like. Take your child to the supermarket, go to the place where rice flour oil is sold, and tell him that this is just a necessity of life, and if you want to fill your stomach, you need to prepare enough rice and food. Then he went to the toy area and told him that although these toys are very liked, they are just spices of life, and they can have one or two things, but they don't need too much.
Through the way of guidance, let the child understand the importance of just need, weaken other items. Slowly, the child will understand what the concepts of need and want are.
Trick 3: Get it through your own efforts
If a child really likes something, then parents cannot discourage and stop their wishes. But you can take the opportunity to "educate" and let the child understand that all the things they like need to pay a "price" to get. Only with enough effort can you have these items, not by threatening to obtain them from your parents.
In life, children can be arranged to do things and give them favorite items as rewards. Parents will find that this approach not only makes children more sensible, but also stimulates their potential and their self-confidence will continue to improve.
Fourth trick: Parents should check themselves
In the growth of children, the words and deeds of parents are particularly important, and they must learn to self-examine at all times, and cannot leave bad influence and guidance on children. If the parents have the psychology of comparison, the child is bound to become a person who likes to compare, which is the influence of words and deeds.
For the sake of children's mental health, parents should set an example and be a low-key, modest and empathetic parent. Only by correcting their own problems can they be qualified to educate their children, otherwise they will preach and refute them.
summary
The comparison psychology that children have bred, parents can correct it step by step, and must maintain basic rationality. Don't sit idly by, let alone seriously criticize, the right intervention can cultivate children's values, so that they learn to consume rationally.