In the early days of the Republic of China, when old and new ideas alternated and Eastern and Western cultures collided, China, which had been closed to the country for a long time, gradually opened its doors and windows to receive foreign air. More and more students are exposed to areas that are different from the knowledge they have touched in the past, and they are greatly interested, and their thinking changes drastically.
The most fundamental reason for learning about foreign cultures is not only for the sake of interest, but also for the sake of saving the country. At that time, China was in chaos, desperately needing a Ganlin to wash away the haze. As students, although they can't go into battle to kill the enemy, the pen is their best weapon. During the Republic of China period, a number of outstanding poets emerged, and Xu Zhimo, as the representative writer of the Crescent School, has long been sought after by many literati and scholars.
Most of Xu Zhimo's poems are about freedom, love, and beauty. From "Farewell to Kangqiao" to "The Happiness of Snowflakes", most of them are depictions of freedom and love, and the most classic is that Xu Zhimo wrote to Lu Xiaoman's "Ai Mei Xiaozha", and the strong love of the mountain wind cannot blow it away.
But Xu Zhimo is not a seed of infatuation, how strong his feelings for Lu Xiaoman are, and how much he hurts his wife Zhang Youyi. Xu Zhimo has loved many people in his life, but he does not love Zhang Youyi, but Zhang Youyi has loved Xu Zhimo all his life.
Marriage has nothing to do with love
Marriage is not an upgrade of love, whether in the new era of openness or the conservative old society, marriage without love is a grave.
Zhang Youyi is a standard Chinese woman, she has the blood of China's feudal society in her bones, and she conservatively follows the rules left by the old era - three from four virtues. But she is also different from the women of the old society, she is the only woman in the Zhang family who does not wrap her feet, thanks to her eldest brother because he can't bear her pain and avoids this disaster.
Even so, she did not have the little feet that the new-stylers hated, and she did not marry into the Xu family and was not looked up to by Xu Zhimo.
Xu Zhimo believes that even if Zhang Youyi did not wrap her feet, her old ideological and cultural level had tightly wrapped Zhang Youyi, in his eyes Zhang Youyi was just a mountain village woman found for him by his family, he felt very angry about this, and her husband's opinion of her was only learned from the servants a few years after she married into the Zhang family, but it was too late to turn back.
Since she was a child, she has followed her husband as a child, and even if her husband hates her, she cannot say that her husband is not half a sentence, let alone talk about divorce.
Mr. Lu Xun also expressed disgust with Juan's wrapped feet, but even Zhang Youyi, who did not wrap her feet, still did not get Xu Zhimo's half-shred of respect. There can be only one reason to love someone, but there are thousands of reasons not to love.
Why we are so resistant to arranged marriages is not only because it deprives us of our choices in life, but more importantly, such arranged marriages are nothing more than pushing two unrelated people into the fire and suffering together.
Mr. Lu Xun's marriage to Juan is only obedience to his mother, Xu Zhimo's marriage to Zhang Youyi is only to complete the task of passing on the lineage, married for three years, may be able to speak when it is only a short period of four months, at this time Zhang Youyi in Xu Zhimo's eyes is just a fertility machine.
This task was completed in 1918, the birth of Xu Jikai, the son of Xu Jikai. The birth of the son did not ease the relationship between husband and wife, the son is like holding the line of the kite, the line is broken Xu Zhimo's kite will fly freely.
A door that never opens
If you keep knocking on the door and there is no response inside, then just turn around and leave, it is impolite to knock on the door all the time.
Xu Zhimo's infatuation with Lu Xiaoman in the Republic of China literati circle has long been no secret, even if there is a family title "worn" on Xu Zhimo, it does not hinder his fierce pursuit of Lu Xiaoman. Therefore, Jin Yong also has a lot of criticism of his cousin Xu Zhimo, which is an infatuated species, and his feelings pursue a lifetime and a couple, and he does not agree with Xu Zhimo's style of style.
Even if he and Xu Zhimo had never met, it was uncomfortable for the rumors about Xu Zhimo to fall into his ears after all, so he was very unwelcome to his cousin, and the rumors that Jin Yong had already learned about in the distance had not reached Zhang Youyi's ears?
The author believes that it must be something that has been heard, but what can Zhang Youyi do? Questioning Xu Zhimo, who was already disgusted with her, or did he use one cry, two troubles and three hangings to save her husband? Zhang Youyi could not do such a move, the idea that a woman should pay attention to manners has long been deeply rooted in the bone marrow, and she will never be able to do this kind of shrew-like action.
Xu Zhimo has been living in Europe for academic study in Europe. In the spring of 1921, Zhang Youyi took her bag to Europe, and she was full of joy and planned how to win back her husband's heart, but such a decision really pushed the marriage into a desperate situation.
The plan could not catch up with the changes, Zhang Youyi originally thought that she had free time in Europe to pick up the abandoned education before marriage and children, and perhaps with some culture, she could rely on Xu Zhimo closer.
But what she did not expect was that she was busier in London than before, and spent most of the time taking care of Xu Zhimo's food and clothing. Although the days are busy, Zhang Youyi is satisfied in her heart, after all, her husband is by her side.
But this peaceful time did not last long, and with a woman's visit, it broke the calm of life. But this woman is not Lu Xiaoman but Xu Zhimo's classmate Yuan Changying, who is also a small-footed woman.
When Xu Zhimo asked Zhang Youyi's impression of Yuan Changying, Zhang Youyi commented: The small feet and the suit do not look compatible. It was such a sentence that Xu Zhimo completely exploded. He left Zhang Youyi, who was still pregnant, and left home, and when he heard again, it was a friend who conveyed the message of divorce, on the grounds that the small feet and the suit did not look compatible.
Zhang Youyi has been knocking on Xu Zhimo's heart door all her life, and she has changed a lot for this reason, but she still can't get a response. In the end, Xu Zhimo confessed to her that the urgent divorce was because Lu Xiaoman was about to return to China, and she was really dead hearted.
If he really loves you, he doesn't need you to raise your hand and knock on the door, he will already embrace you, instead of letting you knock out calluses and scales all over your body. Love is a part of life, sometimes it will be better to work hard, but love is not something that can blossom with hard work.
Belated happiness
Zhang Youyi had reflected on the things and thoughts she had done, and indeed she was biased towards the pedantic nature of the old society. She tried to change her own preconceived notions, expecting and eager to join the new culture.
She began to work hard for her career, and with the help of her family, her clothing career improved day by day, and it was at this time that she met Su Jizhi. Su Jizhi gave Zhang Youyi a love that she had never received, and his care and romance for details gave Zhang Youyi infinite warmth.
Maybe love will be late, but it will definitely come, so Zhang Youyi ushered in her own love. Su Jizhi not only cares about life, he also respects Zhang Youyi's decision incomparably.
When they visited Kangqiao together, Zhang Youyi was touched by the beauty of Kangqiao and thought that Xu Zhimo's complete works should be sorted out, and future generations should know Xu Zhimo. At that time, although Xu Zhimo had died many years after the crash, she was still worried that Su Jizhi would mind, and asked him for advice, and a short sentence of "I support you" made Zhang Youyi instantly believe that this was the person she was looking for in this life.
Zhang Youyi has been thinking about others all her life, and when she married Xu Zhimo, she worried that she would not be able to help him in her career, and when she was old, she worried about bringing trouble to her children and grandchildren and proposed to live alone.
And when her children and grandchildren asked her about her feelings for Xu Zhimo, she was also very confused about this question, she could not even say clearly what "love" was, if taking care of Xu Zhimo and his family can be called "love", then she may be the person who loves Xu Zhimo the most in his life.
brief summary:
Zhang Youyi has an old-school mentality, but she is as strong as a new-style woman. Feudal society imprisoned her firmly, resulting in the extreme misery of the first half of her life. But Zhang Youyi is a person with great love, she has always placed others above herself, and we are always entangled in her love for Xu Zhimo.
But in Zhang Youyi's heart, her love for Xu Zhimo has slowly transformed into family affection, and it doesn't matter whether Xu Zhimo responds to her feelings, she just wants to do more for her relatives.
She spent the first half of her life living for Xu Zhimo, until Su Jizhi lifted her love from the dust and wiped away the haze accumulated over the years, and she really lived for herself at this moment.
We must finally understand that in our lifetime we will meet many different people, and falling in love with good people is beyond our control. We chase love all our lives, but we are hurt by love, but we must believe that there will always be someone who will embrace you and caress the pain one day in the future.
What we need to do before that is that we can only meet the better person if we love ourselves first. We can disagree with Zhang Youyi's attitude towards love, but we should learn from her tenacity, the spirit of not bowing her head and accepting her fate because of the oppression of life, and the rainbow after the wind and rain is always dazzling and beautiful. Zhang Youyi waited for the light in her life, and we will eventually greet the best moments of her life like her.
Embrace life with great love, and life will give you the best reward.