The Tang Dynasty poet Meng Jiaoyue:
"A gentleman is not extremely numerous, and his chest swallows a hundred rivers and rivers."
Since ancient times, the gentleman of the glorious wind and the moon has always been the object of people's friendship, and the literati and inkers also have many words of praise.
Walk with gentlemen, you can hold up shoulder to shoulder, and go with the villain, often because of the disputes.
What is more, fellowship with gentlemen, cultivation of character, fellowship with villains, and deep ditches.
Yes, the ancients have always warned us to be a gentleman near and a little person far away.
Gentleman Wilder, villain nostalgic
The gentleman carries the punishment, the villain carries the favor
There are clouds in the Analects of Shu'er:
"Gentlemen are frank, and villains are often related."
What the gentleman worries is often his own virtue; what he thinks about is often the scope of the law; what the villain cares about is what benefits he can get.
Because the focus is different, so are the actions and emotions.
Therefore, the gentleman is bright and upright, and the villain is calculating; the gentleman is open-minded, and the villain suffers from gain and loss.
The direction of life is also very different.
Tang Bohu, a celebrity talent of the Ming Dynasty, never imagined that his life would be destroyed because of "careless friendship".
The 29-year-old Tang Bohu finally regained his strength in the blow of the death of his relatives one after another and embarked on the road of scientific expedition again.
But I didn't expect that Xu Jing, who met on the way to the test, would bring such a big disaster to his life.
Xu Jingsuan had to learn no technique, otherwise he wouldn't have made Tang Bohu feel that he would see each other and hate each other.
But for the examination, Xu Jing was not completely sure.
Single-mindedly trying to succeed Xu Jing moved his mind and began to look for a "shortcut".
Coincidentally, Cheng Minzheng, who was the chief examiner, had read Tang Bohu's articles and praised his writing, and Tang Bohu also took Xu Jing to visit Cheng Minzheng many times.
Xu Jing took this opportunity to bribe chengfu's domestic servants, get examination questions from them, and consult Tang Bohu to make adequate preparations.
But I don't want to, this year's exam questions are very cold, most of the candidates can not solve, Tang Bohu and Xu Jing's answers are very good.
After Cheng Minzheng got the examination paper, he couldn't help but sigh:
"This must be Tang Yin and Xu Jing's."
After contacting people with hearts, they exposed the "leak of examination questions".
Although he did not know it, Tang Bohu, who had read the examination questions in advance, was still greatly implicated, and his career was truncated.
For his own selfish desires, the villain will do whatever it takes and does not care what consequences his actions will bring to others.
Therefore, if you can keep your own bottom line, you will often bring disasters to yourself because of the other party's behavior.
The best way is to stay away from villains.
Just as the so-called "gentleman does not stand under the wall of danger", in this way, he will not increase the difficulty and regret of his life because of the disaster of innocence.
Gentlemen are harmonious but different, and villains are the same but not harmonious
People are social animals that are inseparable from social interaction.
But each of us is an independent being, and even if we get along day and night, it is difficult to maintain a high degree of ideological consistency.
People's life, into friends, defeat also friends, the quality of making friends can determine the direction of our lives.
How to treat the difference between people is the difference between a gentleman and a villain.
Gentlemen, the belly can hold the boat, encounter different voices, will not force their own will, but also tolerate and accept each other's differences, seemingly different, but in fact frank, have a harmonious internal relationship.
Villains, yang and yin, encounter different propositions, will not say their views in person, superficially pandering, but in fact, they have hidden thoughts, seemingly harmonious, but they have a ghost fetus.
Get along with gentlemen, you can speak freely, and do not have to worry about the other party will say bad things about yourself behind your back, and you are not afraid that the other party will calculate yourself.
Just like the "gentleman's dispute" between the two politicians of the Northern Song Dynasty, Sima Guang and Wang Anshi.
The two of them are of similar age, have similar positions, and are both well-educated, but they have different ideas for changing the law.
In the face of the current situation of the Northern Song Dynasty at that time, Wang Anshi firmly believed that only by changing the law could it change the status quo of "poverty and weakness"; Sima Guang saw the disadvantages that the change of law might bring and resolutely opposed it.
The two men did not back down in the court, openly competed with each other, and became "political enemies" in the true sense, but they never held grudges because of differences in political views.
Instead, they were each impressed by each other's character and abilities.
Sima Guang called Wang Anshi his good friend, and once said in the Book of With Wang Jiefu:
"It is not enough to insult Jiefu as a friend; but since the reception, for more than ten years, I have repeatedly tasted my colleagues, and I cannot say that I have not had a day without a day."
Wang Anshi Qua Sima Guang:
"Faith in righteousness is in the imperial court, and literature is called in the world."
Not only that, but their respective anthologies also left many poems written together.
This is the "harmony and difference" between gentlemen, even if the political views are different, they will not fall into each other's wells:
When Wang Anshi was in power, he would tell the emperor that Sima Guang was "the pillar of the country";
When Sima Guang was in an important position, he would tell the emperor that Wang Anshi had the "style of an ancient gentleman".
Such two people, even the emperor could not help but sigh: "Qing and other gentlemen are also gentlemen!" ”
Even if we have different views, we will not slander your character because of this, because I have my bottom line.
This is what a gentleman does.
With such people, over time, you will become broad-minded and open-minded.
Gentlemen are not compared to each other, and villains are not compared
A cultivated person will get along with people with a sincere heart, and such a person will not deliberately associate with people, nor will he break off relations with people because of interests.
precisely:
"The friendship of gentlemen is as light as water, and the friendship of villains is as sweet as liquor."
Gentlemen interact with people, they look light, but the most moral in their hearts is a person worthy of trust.
Villains interact with people, seemingly enthusiastic, but in fact, they collude for interests, and once there is a conflict of interests, they will turn against each other.
In the Book of the Later Han Dynasty, a typical example of "gentleman's week is not compared":
During the Eastern Han Dynasty, there was a scholar named Zhu Hui.
When he met his predecessor Zhang Kan in Taixue, because the other party's prestige was greater than his own, he was in awe and only watched from a distance.
Zhang Kan, however, had heard of Zhu Hui's personality and talent, so he went forward to say hello, and the two talked happily, and in just a few days, they formed a deep friendship.
When they were separated, Zhang Kan held Zhu Hui's arm and said:
"You are an honest and trustworthy gentleman, and I am old enough to entrust my wife and children to you."
Zhang Hui did not dare to directly admit it.
After that, the two became their own officials and never met again, and the matter was slowly forgotten.
A few years later, Zhu Hui occasionally heard that Zhang Kan had died, because he was a clean and honest official, and did not leave any family wealth, resulting in his wife and children now living in poverty.
Zhu Hui hurriedly arranged official duties and went to Zhang Kan's house to send a rich amount of money.
Zhu Hui's son was very strange and asked:
"Father, I have never seen you and Zhang Kan have any contact, so why spend money to take care of his family?"
Zhu Huiyan:
"Although our relationship was very short, he regarded me as a close friend, and I remembered the things he had entrusted to me."
This is the friendship of a gentleman, which is only about morality and has nothing to do with interests.
On the contrary, villains are heavy on profit and light on righteousness, narrow-minded, and cannot have a truly harmonious and united relationship with them, and even pay greater costs because of conflicts of interest.
The gentleman goes up, the little man gives order
Confucius:
"A gentleman pursues upwards and reaches the Tao, and a villain pursues downwards and reaches the instrument."
The "Tao" is a pursuit that transcends material things, seeks lofty goals and lofty ideals, and cultivates the highest realm of being a human being, so this is an upward posture.
"Instrument" is the pursuit of material interests, the pursuit of fame and fortune, the pursuit of material pleasures, under the domination of desire, often ignore the inner thoughts, easy to go up and down the way.
Up to the road, it seems to be very slow, but it has been going uphill, life will only get better and better; down to the instrument, seemingly very fast, but it is a downhill road, easy to enter the road of self-destruction.
Hu Shi, a literary scholar who once called himself "weak in will", was also influenced by people who "reached the instrument" when he was young.
Because of the decline of the family, Hu Shi, who had just graduated from the new public school, like most young people, fell into confusion.
I didn't know where the road ahead was, and I had a lot of wandering in my heart.
Hu Shi met a person named He Demei at this time, who was the best at eating, drinking and having fun, and under his influence, Hu Shi also began to drink and play mahjong, not seeking progress.
In one lifetime, what kind of people you walk with, you will take what kind of road.
Learned people like Hu Shi will also be greatly affected after getting close to people who only pursue material enjoyment and have no purpose in life.
Fortunately, Hu Shi also had two friends who pursued lofty ideals around him, and they looked at Hu Shi's drunken fandom, one introduced him to Huatong Public School to teach, and the other encouraged him to take the study abroad exam.
In this way, Hu Shi began a new career of study, and from then on, all the way up, all the way up, all the way to the top.
A humble gentleman never indulges in material pleasures, and although these bring confusing pleasures, it is only a big dream.
True long-term happiness often requires effort, and the harder it is, the more lasting it is.
Getting along with such a person will also embark on the uphill road of his life under his influence, even if he cuts through thorns, he can still usher in a happy tomorrow.
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Northern Song Dynasty Ouyang Xiuyan:
"Gentlemen and gentlemen are friends with the same way, and villains and villains are friends with the same interests."
Gentlemen focus on virtue, villains focus on profit, so they do things differently;
Gentlemen accept differences, villains superficially contradict each other, so their attitudes towards controversy are different;
Gentlemen are heavy on righteousness, and villains are married to each other, so they have different ways of friends;
Gentlemen have high ambitions, and villains covet pleasure, so they have different goals in life.
Near gentlemen, far away from small people, can obtain sincere friendship, and under their influence, self-cultivation; near villains, far gentlemen, are often driven by interests, and under their influence, short-sighted.
Life is like a reverse journey, we are just pedestrians in it.
But walking with different people will lead to different ends.
Click [in the watch], may we all cultivate gentlemen, close to gentlemen, and be gentlemen, so that the road of life will become wider and wider.