Some parents are very spoiled children, children's usual behavior has no sense of rules, when children make mistakes, parents are reluctant to criticize and educate children, so doting on children's education methods is of course wrong. However, it is also not advisable for some parents to educate their children by roughly beating and cursing their children after they have made mistakes.
The 7-year-old son "stole" the toy, and the father's next approach caused controversy
In the toy store, I saw such a scene, a seven- or eight-year-old boy, and his father came to the toy store. The boy took a fancy to a remote control toy car, and after dad saw the price, he was reluctant to buy it for him, and planned to let the boy pick a cheaper toy. The boy was gritting and not willing to leave here, and Dad walked forward alone with his head held high.
At this time, the boy opened his school bag, saw if there was anyone around, reached out and loaded the toy car into the bag, and the clerk came over and said to him: "Child, this toy has not been paid, it cannot be put into the bag." ”
The child's father saw this scene, he took three steps and made two steps to the child's side, raised his hand and slapped the child's small face.
The "snap" ——, this loud slap, which stunned the clerk and the other customers in the store. People pointed at the father and son, and one child even blurted out: "Thief! ”
The boy bowed his head and cried, and the father walked out of the toy store carrying the child's clothes, and he kept saying ugly words in his mouth, and the child was like a "sinner" waiting for the verdict. After they left, many people in the store kept shaking their heads, expressing great concern about what would happen to the child when he returned home.
Analysis: Of course, this child's behavior is wrong, and he wants to sneak away the car from the toy store, which is to be stopped and should be criticized. However, the way we see this father educates his children is also very bad.
The father beat the child in front of so many people, and the child stole the car was exposed to everyone's eyes, and the child was physically beaten, far less seriously than the psychological damage. The child's self-esteem is hurt, and such an embarrassment may not be forgotten for a lifetime.
Children make mistakes, we cannot tolerate or coddle, but parents' education methods cannot be so simple and rude.
What should we do when a child does something wrong?
First, use the appropriate way to immediately stop the child's wrong behavior.
In the process of growing up, children will always make mistakes of one kind or another. When a child does something wrong, of course we should stop him immediately and not let him go wrong again.
However, we must also pay attention to the method of stopping the child, like this father can call the child to the side where there is no one, and teach him: "It is not right for you to steal things like this, and the father is very angry." "Not only did the child know that he was wrong and stopped his wrong behavior, but the child's self-esteem was not too hurt."
If the child's mistake is more critical, related to his safety, such as running a red light, we can immediately stop it loudly, if it is not a particularly critical moment, we should be a little calmer to deal with this matter.
Second, reason with the child, let the child understand why it is wrong, and let the child correct the mistake by himself.
If we find that the child has broken someone else's things and stolen other people's things, the first thing you have to do is let the child know that you are wrong. After parents have explained the reason to their children, they should let their children bear the responsibility of admitting mistakes and apologizing. Have the child return the things themselves and apologize sincerely to the shopkeeper.
It is the child who makes the mistake, and we parents should let him take the initiative to apologize, not apologize for the child, so that the child can have a sense of responsibility when he does things in the future.
Third, give the child appropriate punishment and let the child remember the lesson.
The child knows that he is wrong, and he corrects the mistake, and we cannot easily spare the child. Because, if the child is not punished, he may make such a mistake later. Therefore, when the child has done something wrong, we can formulate some punitive measures to make the child bear the consequences, let the child remember the lesson, and try not to make this mistake in the future.
The way to punish children, parents beating and cursing is the lowest means. Parental scolding makes children lose self-confidence, their hearts are hurt, and may also arouse children's rebellious psychology. Our punishment for the child can be diverse, punishing him for doing housework, punishing him for practicing words, punishing him for not buying toys, and so on.
Fourth, parents should be an example for their children and always pay attention to their own words and deeds.
The parents' way of educating is very important, and the educational effect of preaching is the worst. Children's values are cultivated in the bits and pieces of life with their parents, who observe us, imitate us, and gradually grow into people who are more and more like us. Therefore, what kind of child parents want, they must restrain their words and deeds towards that standard.
Parents are role models for children to learn, which is the best education for children.