Figure | Tao Gu Gift Ming Tang Yin National Palace Museum in Taipei
01
On the fourth day of the first lunar month of the seventh year of Xiande (960), Zhao Kuangyin, who was dressed in yellow robes, led his army back to Kaifeng.
The ministers who were working were kidnapped.
Led by Prime Minister Fan Qian and Wang Pu, he was called a vassal.
But it's not enough.
How to reasonably let the little emperor Chai Zongxun move his ass and get out of the egg became Zhao Kuangyin's primary problem.
Let others say that they are plotting to usurp the throne? Definitely not.
Even if you become a bitch, the archway must be erected.
How to stand?
Zhao Da remembered the wise old ancestors, who had already invented a grandiose-sounding excuse for this--Zen Rang.
That night, Zhao Kuangyin held a Zen ceremony in the Chongyuan Hall and summoned a group of courtiers to witness it.
But just when the ceremony had just begun, Zhao Kuangyin almost cried——
Probably because of the first rebellion, no, the first time to hold a Zen concession, inexperienced, one day was busy pretending to be loyal, completely did not expect to prepare the Zen edict such a thing.
At this time, an awkward comparison.
Pause the canon? Don't make a fuss, the officials are waiting, they can't afford to lose this man.
Just when Zhao Kuangyin did not know how to end it, a person with a pair of green eyes walked out of the ranks of the imperial officials in a daze, calmly took out a document from his sleeve, and said triumphantly: Now, the Zen edict you want.
What a joy to fall from heaven.
Zhao Kuangyin fixed his eyes on it again, and only then did he recognize that it was Hanlin Chengzhi Tao Gu.
Zhao Kuangyin smiled and giggled on the surface, but in his heart he looked down on Tao Gu very much, which was too shameless.
However, this obstacle was considered to be in the past, and Zhao Kuangyin still promoted his official and made him the rebbe Shangshu.
02
What Zhao Kuangyin said was true, and Tao Gu was indeed shameless and somewhat obvious.
Tao Gu, whose original surname was Tang, was a native of Xinping, Yingzhou (present-day Bin County, Shaanxi).
It is an official N generation.
His father Tang Zhuo served as the Assassin of Yizhou.
However, when Tao Gu was very young, his father Tang Zhuo was killed by Yang Chongben, who was moderated by the Jing Dynasty Army.
Yang Chongben is really not a joke, after killing Tao Gu's father, he also forcibly took Tao Gu's mother.
Tao Gu recognized Yang Chongben as his stepfather.
Little Tao Brain melon is clever and diligent in asking questions, and at a young age, he is a literary talent, writes a good article, and understands the night sky.
In the winter of the fourth year of Qianhua (914), Yang Chongben was poisoned by his own son Yang Yanlu.
The mother took the opportunity to escape from the Yang family with the 11-year-old Xiao Taogu, and since then the orphans and widows have survived in the chaotic world.
After Tao Gu grew up, when he worshipped his ancestors in the New Year, he still kowtowed to Yang Chongben's spirit card.
His mother asked him why, but he was your father's enemy.
Tao Gu replied, "I would like to repay the grace of nurturing."
Confessing to a thief as a father is so tall, what else can his mother say?
It's not about hugging the thighs of the Jing Army.
In the Later Jin Dynasty, Tao Gu embarked on a career path, and under the promotion of the prime minister Li Song, he became the emperor's secretary all the way, and his future was very good.
But God played with Tao Gu again.
In the first month of the twelfth year of Tianfu (947), the Liao army captured Kaifeng, burned and plundered in Kaifeng, and did all kinds of evil.
Unable to gain a firm foothold, he could only withdraw his troops and return to China with the Later Jin officials.
Tao Gu hid in a monastery and disguised himself as a monk, but was recognized by the Liao army and threatened with a knife, so he had to accompany him.
Tao Gu looked up at the sky and mysteriously said to his friend: Five stars in the southwest, there will be a new emperor in the Central Plains, and Yelü Deguang cannot go back.
Sure enough, on February 15, Liu Zhiyuan proclaimed himself emperor in Taiyuan;
In April, Yelü Deguang killed Hu Lin in Luancheng and died of illness.
Tao Gu took the opportunity to defect to Liu Zhiyuan.
In June of the same year, the Later Han Dynasty was established.
Tao Gu transformed himself into a servant of the Later Han Dynasty.
If you want to run fast, it's all about the headband.
Tao Gu wants to get ahead in the new dynasty, and he has to find a good boss.
He decisively defected to the powerful minister Su Fengji.
As soon as Su Fengji came to power, he took all the residential fields of Li Song, the chancellor of the Later Jin Dynasty, for himself.
Soon, Li Song returned from the Liao Kingdom, he took the real estate deed, and demanded that Su Fengji return to his original owner.
Su Fengji ignored it.
Li Song heard that the original little heel Ban Tao Gu was Su Fengji's red man, so he asked him to say a few kind words for himself.
Instead of helping, Tao Gu said bad things about Li Song in order to please Su Fengji.
In the end, Li Song was accused of treason and beheaded.
Later, his subordinate Li Fang (who later served as the prime minister of the Song Dynasty) reported to him.
Tao Gu suddenly asked: Do you know Li Song?
Li Fang: I know, I am my distant uncle.
Tao Gu smiled and said: Li Song was killed, and I also contributed."
03
On the fifth day of the first lunar month of the first year of Guangshun (951), the Later Han general Guo Weimou usurped the throne and established Later Zhou.
After two dynastic changes, lao Tao has become an old fritter in the official field, and the creed of life is 2 words: step + climb.
Chai Rong portrait
In May of the first year of Xiande (954), Emperor Chai Rong of later Zhou attacked Taiyuan.
Tao Gu, who was then a servant of the Household Department, and Yu Chongyu, a Hanlin scholar, were ordered to go out on the expedition together.
Just in time, Yu Chong, forgave his mother for being seriously ill, took a leave, and went to Shaanzhou to pick up his mother for recuperation.
After Tao Gu learned of this, he said to Chai Rong: Yu Hanlin has not returned to the team for a long time, and may have two hearts.
Chai Rong became suspicious.
Yu Chongyu wrote to Chai Rong again, saying that his mother's illness was aggravated and could he approve a few more days of leave.
Chai Rongdeng was on fire: You are so filial, Hanlin Bachelor don't do it, go home and raise your old mother.
Tao Gu succeeded in taking its place.
(Note: Hubu Shilang is older than Hanlin Bachelor, but Hanlin Bachelor is commonly known as "Chu Xiang")
Tao Gu had a Hanlin to be commanded by the surname Quan, and he had a thousand-mile horse.
Tao Gu's eyes were red, and he said to Lao Quan: I have a crush on your horse, and you look at it.
Lao Quan euphemistically refused Tao Gu's unreasonable request.
Tao Gu didn't say anything at the time.
Once, Tao Gu was ordered to draft a secret edict, and then said to Lao Quan: The emperor asked me to tell you that he liked your calligraphy very much, and asked you to copy a secret edict and send it to him.
Lao Quan did not doubt that he was deceitful, and he wrote it conscientiously.
At this time, Tao Gu suddenly came to say, what are you doing? To copy the edict without the emperor's approval was to beheaded.
Lao Quan knew the plan, and finally had to endure the pain of cutting love, breaking the wealth and avoiding disaster, bmw gave it to Tao Gu.
Over time, colleagues knew what Tao Gu was, and they were unwilling to pay attention to him.
But he is still officially prosperous.
Because he is extremely good at observing words and colors, figuring out the intentions, and bending over to the leadership.
Later Zhou had a prime minister named Wei Renpu, who was 8 years younger than Tao Gu.
I don't know where Tao Gu climbed from, but an uncle took the door of the prime minister.
04
Soon after Chai Rong ascended the throne, he assigned two essay titles to the ministers: "It is not easy to discuss the difficulty of the king and the subject" and "Pingbian Policy".
Tao Gu elaborated a plan to defeat the Southern Tang.
Chai Rong was overjoyed, lao Tao was really a talent, promoted.
Since the plan is yours, then you will go to the Southern Tang Dynasty to find out the truth.
The military strength of the Southern Tang Dynasty was not as good as that of the Later Zhou, but the cultural soft power was much stronger than that of the Later Zhou.
Very despised these big old men in the week after.
The famous Southern Tang minister Han Xizai personally washed the dust for Tao Gu.
The banquet is extremely extravagant, fine wine and delicacies, and beautiful singers take turns to open Tao Gu's eyes.
Tao Gu is serious, the food tastes a little and is finished, and Mei Se refuses to accept it.
After eating and drinking, he wrote twelve words on the wall:
Nishikawa dog, people's eyes, ma bao'er, imperial kitchen rice.
Southern Tang officials are all blindfolded, what do you mean?
Southern Tang Dynasty Prime Minister Song Qiqiu made a clever move and explained:
The Nishikawa dog, that is, the Shu dog, is a monogram;
The eyes of the people, that is, the eyes, are a sleeping word;
Ma Bao'er, that is, the claw, is a lone word;
Imperial kitchen rice, which is official food, is a restaurant.
Taken together, it's a lonely place.
Meaning, I would rather be alone in an empty house than get hit by your sugar-coated shells.
Han Xizai immediately laughed: "I really think I don't know the details of your old boy?"
Han Xizai found Qin Weilan, a famous prostitute in Qin Huai, and asked her to pretend to be the daughter of a small official of the inn and clean the courtyard of Tao Gu every day.
The beauty plan makes it completely traceless.
Tao Gu immediately put on the set.
After a cloud rain, Tao Gu was poetic and wrote "Spring Is Good":
Good causes, bad causes, heavens,
Only to sleep at the mail booth for a night? Don't be a fairy.
The pipa plucks out the acacia tune and knows little.
When is the year when the strings are broken?
Mo is really moved by feelings?
He actually cursed his wife to die quickly, so that he could marry this famous prostitute.
Cultural people are really exquisite.
The next day, The Southern Tang Emperor Li Jing (Li Yu and his father) received Tao Gu.
Tao Gu also said that Lao Tzu was upright and would never be corrupt and degenerate.
Just then, there was a singing voice.
This song, Tao Gu is still quite familiar: good marriage, bad marriage, naihe day...
Don't say anything, Tao Gu knew that he had caught Han Xizai's Dao, and his face was as red as a monkey's ass.
Ash slipped back home.
At this time, he heard the people of Kaifeng sing a song: good marriage, evil marriage, what a heaven...
Yes, Tao Gu's reputation completely stinked the street, and promotion was completely hopeless.
05
Until the opening scene, Tao Gu offered his cheap loyalty to the new master for the first time, and at the same time cleverly slapped a horse's ass.
Another opportunity to climb up.
In the second year of Qiande (964), Zhao Kuangyin ordered people to conduct a selection examination for some officials of the second generation.
Tao Gu's son, Tao Jian, also took the exam.
But Tao Jian couldn't even recite a complete article, and Tao Gu had to bribe the examiner.
Under the black box operation, Tao Jian passed the exam and was awarded a minor official.
In the end, the East Window Incident occurred, Tao Jian was taken down, deprived of political life for life, all examiners were demoted, and Tao Gu was robbed of two months.
Four years later, another son of Tao Gu took the more difficult entrance examination, and as a result, he was on the list, ranking sixth, and became a protégé of Tianzi.
After Zhao Kuangyin heard about this, his heart was tired.
Tao Gu had no way to teach his son, how did Tao Feng still win? Is there a cat in it?
On the spot, Zhongshu was ordered to re-examine Tao Feng.
The result was unexpected, Tao Feng was really a jinshi who relied on real talent to study the exam, and passed the Zhongshu re-examination.
Tao Gu did not know that Zhao Kuangyin despised himself.
I feel that with my talent and qualifications, sooner or later I will become the prime minister.
But after waiting for many years, I didn't see any movement, so I was in a hurry, and the trustee kept recommending himself in front of Zhao Kuangyin.
Zhao Kuangyin was annoyed, did not save Tao Gu a little face, and laughed:
"I have heard of the Hanlin grass system, all check the old books of the predecessors, and the so-called gourd ears are drawn in the same way, what is the power of Xuanli?"
A sentence left an idiom, drawing a gourd, and directly destroying Tao Gu's dream of being the prime minister.
Tao Gufang woke up like a dream, all thoughts were gray, and wrote a self-deprecating poem:
Official positions must be held by the student, and the article does not matter when it is used.
Kan Xiao Hanlin Tao Bachelor, drawing gourds every year.
Harm hatch harm catch.
Tao Gu still has to pay for his shamelessness after all.
Until the third year of Kaibao (970), Tao Gu, who was 67 years old, died of illness and remained in place, and could not continue to be promoted.
After his death, Zhao Kuangyin ordered him to be posthumously named "Right Servant of Shangshu" and let him go to Yin Cao Prefecture to become the prime minister.
References: "History of the Song Dynasty", "History of the Five Dynasties", "Zizhi Tongjian", "Continuation of Zizhi TongjianChang", "Records of Dongxuan", "Relics of the Southern Tang Dynasty", "Yuhu Qing dialect", "Popular Interpretation of Past Dynasties", etc