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Tolstoy once said in his book: "Happy families are all similar, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes." ”
In this world, most people's marriages seem to be like this. But in those unhappy marriages, there are also traces to follow.
Looking at unhappy marriages, what we need to do is to learn from the misfortunes experienced by others and avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Married life takes up most of our lives. It is inevitable that there will be stumbling, but this does not mean that we do not have principles and bottom lines.
In marriage, if it is in these three cases, in any case, it is not worth forgiving.
01. Domestic violence is the end of a marriage
In marriage, in most cases, it is the women who give more.
They themselves are in a vulnerable group, the development of their careers is limited, and pregnancy and childbirth will also cause great harm to their bodies.
The way of marriage between the female protagonist and the male protagonist is still chosen by most people. If the husband and wife love each other, the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious, and even domestic violence occurs, which is undoubtedly digging a grave.
In fact, domestic violence is not only physical harm, restricting the personal freedom of others, and the harm caused to the other party's spirit is considered domestic violence.
In the hit drama "Xiao Min Jia", the love between Xu Zheng and Liu Xiaojie is suffocating. Is this desire for control, which is close to madness, really love?
He ate the vinegar of his "male girlfriend", put Liu Xiaojie under house arrest at home, took away all his mobile phones and computers, and even liu Xiaojie stayed with his nephew, he would be jealous.
Is this extreme, blindly controlling, emotionally abusive love really a healthy marital relationship?
Behind every piece of domestic violence is a manifestation of psychological distortion. They either have a strong possessiveness or are suspicious of themselves and can only achieve their goals through control.
Any intimate relationship, for us, should be to make each other a better person, and being with such a person is nothing more than a waste of our own resources.
Don't expect to be the light that redeems the other person, we should first allow ourselves to grow toward the sun.
Domestic violence is only zero times and countless times, and the behavior of trampling on the bottom line and the soft forgiveness of the heart again and again will only cause more serious consequences.
02. Betrayal is the cancer of a marriage
In marriage, two people get along every day, and it is difficult to do every day is high and sweet.
If you don't have a child, two people are busy with their own business every day, and after having a child, two people's time may spend more on the child.
I once read a saying like this: "A comfortable marriage is often composed of eighty percent blandness and twenty percent sweetness." ”
After two people are familiar with each other to a certain extent, the freshness in love fades, and it is indeed easy to fall into flatness.
In this case, there are always people who can't stand this bland day, start to look for comfort outside, and eventually betray the marriage.
Both men and women will have the possibility of cheating in a relationship.
It is undeniable that people will encounter many people in their lives, but the heartbeat may not be true love. Any relationship after the hot love period, or to face the chai rice oil and salt in life.
Not being able to stay together for a long time in a dull life is not true love.
If you can't quit the addiction of freshness and cheating, you will fall into a dead cycle of one period after another.
Being loyal to your lover is the most basic obligation in marriage, and betrayal is the cancer that kills marriage.
03. Verbal abuse is the graveyard of a marriage
Being with someone who truly loves you will become more and more confident.
In our daily interactions, we are all more willing to spend time with people who exude positive energy from them. Conveying positive emotional values is also a very important thing in intimate relationships.
If your partner is hitting you every day and saying things that hurt your self-esteem, it will always make you look for problems in yourself and shirk your responsibilities completely.
As a result of this situation, you become more and more suspicious of yourself and feel that you are not worthy of the other person.
In married life, there will certainly be many people who put their feelings in the first place in their lives, and everything is for the sake of each other, so it is easy to suffer from each other's mental control.
Being in a violent language environment for a long time will cause great harm to our body and mind, and as we accumulate, we will become more and more inferior and self-doubtful.
But in fact, we are already very good on our own, and we have not done anything wrong.
Controlling our own language and controlling our temper is the ability we should all learn.
Marriage is a kind of cooperation, and the husband and wife are nothing more than partners who live together. Mutual respect and mutual understanding are a balanced and harmonious relationship.
Marriage is a practice in which we all find our role, know our tasks, and together with each other, take on the tasks that our roles give us.
Define the goal, life will become concise, at the beginning of the clear bottom line of getting along, marriage will become light and comfortable.
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