Author: Zhou Gongzi (columnist) Editor: Zhang Shuo Produced: Marriage and Family Magazine id: hunyinyujiating99
On January 10, the results of the first-instance trial of the much-watched "Jiang Ge Case" finally came!
Although the 696,000 yuan awarded to the defendant Liu Nuanxi (formerly: Liu Xin) was not much, it was also a victory for Jiang Ge's mother's long-term persistence.
After hearing the verdict, the mother, who had been weeping in Japan for a long night and kneeling for the female grievances, finally smiled for the first time.
And when the news reached Japan, Chen Shifeng, the executioner whose hands were stained with Jiang Ge's blood, was in a prison like a "nursing home", picking up cats and brushing dramas in a single room.
Jiang Ge's life is forever fixed at the age of 24, while the murderer Chen Shifeng was only sentenced to 20 years.
In response to Chen Shifeng, who is about to be released from Japan after completing his sentence in 2037, Jiang Ge's mother made it clear that she would continue to file lawsuits after returning to China.
As for Chen Shifeng's legal appeal after returning to China, Jiang Ge's mother responded to the Red Star News reporter: "Of course, I hope that he will receive the death penalty, but I will still respect the fair judgment of our laws." ”
What awaits the murderer Chen Shifeng is the verdict of the law, but this matter is more worthy of people's deep consideration, about the dark side of human nature, but also about the identification of women to deadly scumbags.
01
Be wary of "Chen Shifeng-style" lovers
Chen Shifeng's dangerous lover, with no killer mark on his forehead. When they fall in love at first sight, they will not predict that they will bring a knife to see them later. Are there any clues in their inner demons that we can see through early and avoid tragedies?
There are many signs.
1. Extreme impulse: Cut things as soon as you get angry
Da Liu is 40 years old and has never been married. In the early years, relatives and friends would be very enthusiastic to introduce him to him, but in recent years, they have not dared. Because every girl said that Da Liu usually had nothing, but it was like starting a fire as if he wanted to kill someone. Even if there was a small argument, he could be so angry that he slammed the door and threw a cup, raised a knife to cut the furniture, and scared the girl several times to run to the neighbor's house to hide.
Da Liu also knew it, so the plaque of "making anger" was also hung upright in the living room for many years. But he said that as soon as the fire started, his mind went blank, and he finally forgot everything.
Why do they do this: the biggest feature of impulsive personality is that there is a problem with the emotional "brake valve", the fire cannot be pressed, and they will burn themselves and others, so they often become a dangerous lover of intimate relationships.
Who will love them: People who are weak at heart and want their partner to protect themselves can easily fall in love with the "mighty" of impulsive personality. Especially when they rush to the crown and get angry for their partners, this heroism is almost to make people kneel. But unlike the real hero, the impulsive personality will show more and more extreme sides, less calm and calm.
How to get along with them: To be a partner of this type of person, the first thing to learn is to "brake". If there is a conflict, do not confront them, so as not to get out of control. Partners are best to walk away first, wait until they calm down, listen to others, and then communicate slowly.
Of course, if the patient's condition is too serious and refuses to seek medical treatment, as a partner, you can only take the best policy to protect yourself.
Severe narcissism: When you feel humiliated, you explode
Xiaosun thinks he is a very confident person. Although he works as a design assistant in an ordinary advertising agency, his ideas are sometimes euphemistically evaluated as "immature", but he firmly believes that his talent is first-class in China, but for the time being, no one has the wisdom to see the hero.
At the same time, Xiaosun found that there are many malicious people in this world who always look down on him. For example, on a blind date, he introduced himself as a designer. The other party said "Oh" and did not answer the phone. Xiao Sun wondered if she looked down on the industry a bit, so she hurriedly tried to explain, and her voice became higher and higher, and she slapped the table.
The girl was frightened and left the table of dishes. As soon as she went out, she called the introducer and asked, "Is he violent?" ”
Why are they like this: Xiaosun is a person with serious narcissistic tendencies. This kind of person's self-esteem is extremely sensitive, and it is easy to feel inferior. In order to prevent themselves from experiencing feelings of inferiority, some people will go to the other extreme and convince themselves that "I am very good, but no one knows how to appreciate."
However, this indomitable belief is very fragile. Sometimes, the mere fact that the other party "does not show appreciation" or "slightly ridicule and belittle" can offend them thoroughly, making them feel that the other party is deliberately contemptuous, thus causing a black storm of retaliation.
Who will love them: People who are equally inferior, but don't in turn think of themselves as cattle, are attracted to their cow-coaxing "self-confidence" when they meet severely narcissists. They will worship narcissists, be fans of narcissists, and be proud of them. Because they felt that they had followed a god-like figure, and their status had also improved.
How to get along with them: To get along with severe narcissists, hold their self-esteem like glass carefully, affirm them, encourage them, point out their mistakes with careful words, and don't forget to emphasize that "you are right, and very right". You must know that once you break the glass heart, you will definitely burn yourself.
Third, high paranoia: suspicion to create bloody cases
In a remote mountain village, there was a massacre of the door, and three generations of grandchildren were hammered to death. Among them, the head of the household's 24-year-old daughter Xiao Gui died the most tragically, not only 13 hammers, but also 9 knives in the face, basically unrecognizable.
The police arrived at the scene and found that the killer had not run at all. Moreover, this murderer is not an outsider, it is Xiao Gui's husband Da Li who recruited 3 years ago.
Dali said that Xiao Gui was unfaithful to him, had adultery with others, and gave birth to a child, which caused him to wear a green hat and insulted his personality.
However, the testimony of a group of neighbors is just the opposite. They said that Xiao Gui was of good character and had never even been out of the far door. Because her husband always doubted her, Xiao Gui didn't even dare to talk to men, so why "adultery"? However, in this calendar, the suspicion is particularly heavy in weekdays, and those who are suspicious of gods and ghosts will suspect that even if his wife talks to his father-in-law, he will suspect that there is adultery. Neighbors have also advised many times. The child's DNA identification was also done, no problem, it was his. But in this way, the calendar refused to believe it. It can only be said that this man is sick.
Why they are like this: Highly paranoid people are full of malice towards the world and therefore often feel uncomfortable inside. However, they do not admit this, but instead believe that "it is someone else who has malicious intentions, and they must not be able to get along with me, which is why I feel so awkward." Their high level of paranoia is a defense to avoid admitting that "I actually have an evil side, and I have a wrong time."
Who loves them: People who are seriously insecure about intimate relationships will initially feel that people who are highly paranoid value themselves: "You see, he is always worried that I have a relationship with someone else, which proves that he cares about me and is afraid of losing me!" 」 At this time, people who are insecure will be willing to think that they have finally found true love.
How to get along with them: People who are highly paranoid generally have a hard time getting along with others. Once you get into an argument with them, you have to get out as soon as possible, and the best way to do that is to admit that they have a point, a point, a lot of sense! Affirm them, let their anxiety ease, and they will not haunt you endlessly.
Marginal emotions: Breakups are high-risk moments
After Lao Zheng met Bai Xue, he was immediately attracted by her cold and indifferent temperament and began to pursue wildly. Bai Xue did not agree, old Zheng was deeply disappointed, ran outside to soak in the rain for a day, and came back infected with pneumonia.
When Bai Xue went to the hospital to see him, he had just sat down, and someone outside the door brought flowers and said it was for her. Bai Xue was surprised to open the small card in the flower and found that there was only one sentence inside: "You don't have to worry about me, I am willing to do anything for you, but you don't refuse, don't leave, don't give me wind and snow." Snow's heart melted in an instant.
However, the good times did not last long. Bai Xue soon discovered that the 38-year-old Zheng lived like a grinding child, pestering her at any time. Since falling in love, the whole company knows that Bai Xue has a boyfriend, named Lao Zheng. Because he will call every day to chase the soul and kill the call, from a few a day to more than 20. As long as the snow is a little slower, colleagues can hear them arguing on the phone, nothing more than "I don't love you!" I am working! Such suppressed and desperate protests.
One day, Snow Resigned. According to the director of the personnel office, Bai Xue's move was purely to hide from Lao Zheng. Because after she proposed to break up, Old Zheng came to the company every day to make noise, shouting and shouting to kill. The company had to call the police for help, several times.
Why are they like this: Lao Zheng belongs to the borderline personality. The original source of this concept refers to the fact that such people are extremely emotionally unstable and belong to "stable instability", just like standing on the edge of "normal", and if they are not careful, they will fall into "abnormal".
Borderline personalities crave relationships, crave belonging, and can give everything in pursuit of oneself. Because of this, the most feared thing in their lives is "breaking up and being abandoned." Once encountered, it is easy to have an emotional breakdown and make extreme behaviors.
Who will love them: People who are not good at building relationships with people, who like to cover up themselves with a cold appearance, who are easily moved by the enthusiasm of marginal personalities, and who feel that they are important because of their crazy pursuits.
How to get along with them: Be careful with their fear of being "abandoned." Usually, we must find ways to make them understand that their feelings are very important and valuable to their partners. When arguing, it is best for partners not to casually "play break up", so as not to irritate them and trigger extreme events.
02
In the face of dangerous lovers, how to break up safely
★ Take full precautions before breaking up: delete indecent photos and other evidence to avoid being threatened; notify relatives and friends, request care; find a new place to live; contact each other's family to cooperate; if the other party has misconduct, be sure to call the police in time.
★ Calm and proposed, fully convey respect, only say that the personality is not compatible, do not pick the other party's faults. Set up the steps to let the other person leave.
★ If you don't feel safe, don't choose the way to meet and break up.
Love is better than indiscriminate, and the deformed relationship will always bring people trauma in the end, and even lose their lives.
May you have a pair of fiery eyes and golden eyes that know people, and a determined heart that is far away from scum.
Life is short, don't waste time on meaningless entanglements.