There is an issue of "Super Parenting", which is about an adolescent boy who is either yelling or impatient with his mother, and closing the door at every turn refuses to communicate.
It is said that adolescent children are particularly rebellious, as if it is inevitable and there is nowhere to escape, but when they really meet, parents are miserable.
However, in addition to the fact that the child is getting bigger and bigger, and the need for independence begins to be independent, it should be known that many adolescent children and their parents are becoming more and more rigid in their relationship, and the reason should not be attributed to the growth of the child, but is the result of the improper education methods of the parents over the years.
3 things that trigger children's "rebellious hearts", many parents do every day
A few months ago, there was a TV series called "Centimeters of Love", and the surgeon played by Tong Dawei was a very good talent, which should have been particularly attractive in the marriage market.
But Tong Dawei has a mother who has to take care of everything, whether her son has a successful career or not, and always treats the child as a "child". Not only does he control all the details of his son's life, but even his son must participate in talking about friends, and strictly requires his son and girlfriend to take care of their "baby son" according to their own habits.
For the old woman, the son is the son, but for the young girl, of course, what she wants to find is someone who can support each other, not adopt a "child".
It is conceivable that after being kidnapped by the mother's "love" and his own "filial piety", after enduring many years, the children who have already become adults have not unexpectedly "run wild".
"No matter how old a child is, it will always be a child of his parents."
Originally a very warm sentence, but always can not see clearly "children are individual" parents, want to firmly tie the child around, just wishful thinking, will eventually "force" the child farther and farther.
In the process of raising children, parents always have a heart that can't be, and always say in the child's ear how it should be and what it shouldn't be.
Although they are all "for the good of the child", they completely ignore whether the child can accept it. Always nagging the "big truth", even if the child knows how to do it, but there is still a "rebellious heart".
Because children are always independent individuals with their own minds, they are not a machine that can be written at will.
We must pay attention to the way we communicate with our children, and the dialogue should pay attention to "doing more with less". From the child's point of view, allow the child to vent his dissatisfaction and accept the child's shortcomings, rather than blindly pursuing the right and wrong of things.
We often see scenes like this:
A young couple had a hard time on the weekend, and finally they were able to take the child from the hands of the old man, but instead of throwing a mobile phone at home and playing each other; they took the child to the playground of the mall in case they hid outside and played with the mobile phone.
The name is "every week will accompany the child", but this kind of companionship is not heartfelt. Over time, children and grandparents have more time, and parents have never taken advantage of the opportunity to accompany them, of course, they are not willing to listen to their parents.
In addition, with their children to write homework, play games, etc., many parents are also "not able to work".
· Willing to spend high prices to buy toys and picture books, but rarely accompany children to watch and play together;
· Will urge the child to write homework quickly, but did not understand the child's where will not...
Parents know how to teach their children, "Don't be absent-minded in class", but parents themselves are always doing the same thing.
Children enter adolescence and observe the world from their own perspective, and inevitably they will become more and more like to be alone and think more and more independently.
But all these changes in the child are not the main cause of "rebellion", if parents have always known how to communicate effectively with their children, they can start from the child's perspective, then they can also spend this special time calmly and harmoniously.