American writer John Gray said: "Men come from Mars and women come from Venus." ”
The contradiction between men and women stems from differences in thought, and even more from the struggle between "reason and emotion".
Between lovers and partners, when one calmly and rationally looks at the problem, the other is deeply trapped in the emotional vortex and cannot extricate himself, so that there is no contradiction is a miracle.
A novel published 210 years ago wrote about love, the contradiction between reason and emotion in the family.
Eleanor, who has always been rational, discovers that her lover Edward and Lucy have been engaged for 4 years, and when she decides to quit, her lover actually empathizes with each other!
Marianne, who thinks that "people should not be in love twice", was abandoned by her first love Willoughby, and actually married the elderly and frail Brandon?
Jane Austen tells us a love story of reversals and reversals in Sense and Sensibility.
01
It all started after the death of their father, Eleanor and her eldest sister Marianne, younger sister Margaret, and mother, living with their half-brother, Mr. and Mrs. John.
Eleanor is kind-hearted, gentle, and emotional, but she can restrain her emotions.
The miserly John and his wife Fanny are also able to maintain a friendly neighborly relationship with the mother and daughter four under Eleanor's mediation. Until, Eleanor develops a relationship with Fanny's brother Edward.
Edward liked Eleanor, but he did not confess; second, he had to listen to his mother, because he could inherit as much property as his mother, who wanted him to marry Miss Morton, who had a dowry of £30,000.
So, Eleanor restrained her emotions and said to her sister, "I don't want to deny it, I value him very much, I respect him very much, I like him." ”
Marianne heard her sister's comments and thought it was cold, but this indifferent word retained Eleanor's dignity.
Because soon, after moving to Devon, Eleanor knew that Edward had been privately dating Lucy for 4 years.
But when Edward lost the inheritance, Eleanor asked her friend Colonel Brandon for help finding a clergy job for Edward—the priest, and she was overjoyed, even though it might have paved the way for Edward and Lucy's marriage.
Unexpectedly, soon after, Lucy abandoned Edward and turned to Robert (Edward's brother), whom she once called "stupid", knowing that Robert also called Lucy "stupid in the country, ungraspable, unseemly, and unsightly".
When Eleanor learned of the news, she ran away with joy and tears, she was always calm and elegant, even if the tears shed because of joy, she did not want to let people see it.
Edward's impulsive promise at the age of 18 came to an end, and he immediately proposed to Eleanor and succeeded, and the two lovers exchanged heartfelt words, and the pastorship that Brandon had previously obtained for him was too timely.
02
In Devon, the mother-daughter four have many neighbours, marianne has two more suitors, Willoughby, 25, and Colonel Brandon, 35.
Their temperaments are diametrically opposed, Willough is handsome and humorous and knows how to please girls, but Brandon is silent and buries his feelings in his heart.
Not long after the emotional Marianne met Brandon, she thought that his 35-year-old and frail body had no enthusiasm and keen feelings, and it was impossible for her to do so.
Willoughby appears in the storm to save Marianne from the fall, and carries her twisted feet back to the place where the mother and daughter lived.
The hero saves the United States and always makes the girls fascinated, not to mention that this benefactor is handsome and enthusiastic and elegant.
In the subsequent process of getting along, music, dancing, chatting, the two did not fit together at all, and almost Marianne's relatives and friends thought that these two people were extremely suitable.
Brandon had no advantage, he wasn't young, he wasn't lively, he couldn't say nice things, and he had an unrelated adopted daughter.
Marianne said: "He has neither talent nor appreciation, nor courage. He was not strong in understanding or enthusiastic, and his voice was emotionless. ”
How happy they are when they are together, how embarrassed and sad they are when they break up.
The news of Willoughby's departure and marriage almost overwhelmed the emotionally rich girl, and she became so sick that her sister and friends began to be afraid of it.
When Willoughby learned that Marianne might die of illness, vanity resurfaced and he was reluctant to let his ex-girlfriend go to God with resentment towards him.
He immediately went to the Dashwood sisters, and although he only saw Eleanor, he described himself as a lover who had been forced to break up, and even the sane Eleanor began to sympathize with him.
Of course, everything that turned out later turned out to be nothing more than an expectation of something that you didn't fully own.
After a love affair that nearly killed herself, Marianne finally matured, she knew how to restrain her emotions, chose a husband that suited her, and married Brandon at the age of 19 at the age of 37.
03
"Marianne is not in favor of a second relationship." Colonel Brandon knew this when he chatted with Eleanor.
Although the birth of the three sisters was the crystallization of her father's second marriage, Marianne was able to deny it with peace of mind, which was a wayward point of view, but fortunately, everyone expressed tolerance for the young girl's reverie.
At that time, Marianne did not expect that her happiness was in the second relationship.
Although Eleanor has always loved Edward in her heart, she also knows that she can't interfere with him and Lucy, but she didn't expect to turn around and gain happiness because of Lucy's selfishness.
Marianne's first love, Willoughby, was going to marry Miss Grey, who had a £50,000 dowry, because money and vanity were his favorites.
Eleanor's first love, Edward is willing to give up the inheritance in order to keep his promise, and continues to get along with Lucy, an engaged person who is no longer in love.
How obvious is the gap between the two, but how can it be said that they have not achieved happiness?
Willoughby gets the generous life he pursues, even if he no longer has a lover who is so compatible with him.
Edward was given the position of pastor, only to get along with kind and kind people, and to marry the woman he loved, but he lost the money he did not come and did not care much about.
As for Brandon, who later married Marianne, his protection and help when the girl was sick was finally looked at by her relatives and friends, so Marianne could be with him after healing her love wounds.
04
Everyone has their own happiness, even if their happiness is not understood by the public. In reason and emotion, reason is naturally important, but emotions are also moving, if you simply pursue one of them to the extreme, it is difficult to obtain happiness.
Once Marianne was like this, she let the emotional development, sadness made her almost die, after returning to the human world, she finally understood that Eleanor's reason is the most reliable in the development of feelings, and she also found happiness when she found reason.
Emotionally rich but restrained, Eleanor seized every opportunity and never did anything inappropriate, unless it violated her inner morality, and she eventually repaid herself by seeking a position for an impossible lover.
In a relationship, how to grasp the relationship between yourself and your other half? Half sane, half emotional.
Reason assures us that we will not develop into an uncontrollable situation; emotion guarantees that we will not act idealistically for the sake of profit. Seemingly simple truth, Jane Austen told us more than 200 years ago, "Sense and Sensibility" seems to be a novel, but in fact, why not our love guide?
Click "likes", can you stay sane when caught up in a relationship?