Wen | Jingma
Yuzhu and her husband after 95 are from the countryside, so there is no background in the family, and they can only start from scratch.
After the two got married, they decided to go it alone and opened a small financial company. After the company stabilized, the two had children, and after the birth of their sons, their mother-in-law came to help them with the children.
The two couples are still at work, after the birth of the child, considering that they want to give the child a better environment, they think about buying a house and a car, after the work pressure is greater, they work harder and more seriously, overtime is the norm, and there is little rest on weekends.
Yuzhu went out to work at the company when she was young, and when the child was young, she came back at noon because she had to breastfeed, and slept with the child at night.
But after the child was weaned at 4 months, Yuzhu completely threw the child to her mother-in-law and plunged into work.
The two couples worked hard, and the conditions in the family slowly improved, and when the child was more than one year old, they finally bought a house and lived in a spacious new house, and Yuzhu and her husband were very happy.
One day Yuzhu was a little uncomfortable and went home early, opened the door and entered the living room without seeing the child, heard the crying of the children in the room, and called out to the mother.
Yuzhu wanted to push the door in, but heard grandma say: "Call your mother again, grandma will not care about you, your mother has gone to work, do not want you, what is the use of you calling her, you want to call grandma!" ”
Yuzhu's heart was cold when she heard her mother-in-law say this, and the reason why she worked desperately outside was also to give her children better conditions and life, and her mother-in-law actually talked to her children like this at home.
In the evening, Yuzhu said, Will your mother sleep with you tonight? The child said no, I want to sleep with grandma.
Yuzhu carried the child to the room to tell the child a story at this time, and at first the child listened with relish, but if he was sleepy, the child said that he was going to find his grandmother.
Yuzhu said to her son, you sleep with your mother, but the child is angry, hit the mother, "Mother is bad, I don't want mother", and finally the grandmother coaxed the child away.
Yuzhu heard the child say this, the heart is indeed very uncomfortable, regret, in order to give the child a better life, desperately work hard, the result of the child is not appreciative, the mother-in-law at home every day to brainwash the child.
So in the middle of the night in the circle of friends wrote their mood: "No matter how bitter and tired and poor, don't give the child to the mother-in-law day and night, now I regret it, the child does not kiss me, but also hates me, because the grandmother will tell the child some bad words about the mother day and night to the child!" ”
It is true that generational rearing, if the child is completely handed over to the elderly, it will cause a lot of problems!
It is recommended that mothers can let the elderly help with the children when they go to work during the day, go home as much as possible after work, and take the children themselves, after all, the education and upbringing of the elderly may not necessarily be appropriate.
Generational parenting should grasp three principles, and young parents must understand them in advance
The first principle: determine the first responsible person for stability
The first person responsible for the child's education should be the mother, that is, the child's affairs, it should be decided by the mother, as long as the mother says, others can not be managed, and to accept to implement.
Only by being able to have a stable first responsible person and a stable environment can children have a sense of security and self-esteem.
The second principle: make rules for your child
The biggest problem with generational rearing is that the elderly are more spoiled children and are unwilling to set rules for children, and children who grow up without rules can easily become a crooked tree.
Therefore, the elderly with children, parents should also negotiate with the elderly, to make certain rules for the children, such as washing hands before meals, for example, going out can only buy one toy, such as going out before 10 o'clock to sleep.
The third principle: try to avoid grandparents sharing children together
Now many are only children, and the elderly on both sides are rushing to take the child, so there is a habit of rotating with children, such as this week's grandmother belt, next week's grandmother belt.
As a result, different methods of elderly parenting are different, and the children are taught to be ignorant, and the children are more chaotic.
So the elderly with children is only to help rather than be fully responsible, parents try to squeeze out time to raise children, if you can even suggest that children before the age of three, the mother personally educates and personally takes the child, more can make the child have a sense of security, more confident in adulthood.
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