In the past two days, I watched "The Boy Says" again and captured a poignant plot.
A girl who was only in the first year of junior high school stood on the roof and asked a soul torture:
"My mother always told me at home that girls should do more housework. Therefore, almost all the housework in the family is done by me.
Recently, my mom started learning to cook again. As soon as I didn't want to learn, my mother said, you will marry someone later, do you want your husband to help you cook?
I want to ask my mother today, why can't my husband do it for me? ”
After the girl finished speaking, her mother asked back:
"What if your husband doesn't do housework either?"
The girl thought about it and said:
"Then I'll have a daughter and let her do it for me."
Seeing this scene, my heart was full of mixed feelings.
Because the two I gave birth to were boys, I never thought that girls would face the shackles of so many gender stereotypes in the process of growing up.
If you have a daughter in the family, have you ever thought that the ways that we default to are good for your daughter may become a pit on their growth path in the future?
Because I grew up in a group of girls, as a different kind of "wild child", this made me like to think more and more about the difference between men and women in these years.
Among them, I think these three gender stereotypes are the deepest "poison" for girls.
01
Boys are good for playing Lego, girls are suitable for playing with dolls?
Is there a feeling that boys' logical thinking skills are generally better than those of girls?
It's not an illusion.
Statistics show that men dominate most occupations that require strong spatial logical thinking, such as 90% of engineers and 80% of architects are men.
Is it that boys and girls are born with different brain structures?
No, British scientists have studied the brain structure of more than 300 children and found that boys and girls have almost no difference in brain structure.
So what causes the gap in logical thinking ability between boys and girls?
The answer lies in the toys that children play with from an early age.
British brain image experts have said:
"It's because boys are encouraged to play more games related to spatial logic and graphic logic from an early age." For example, the boys can play in the Lego pile for hours to study the drawings. ”
If girls start playing with toys like Lego, they can see a significant improvement in their logical thinking ability in 3 months, and the brain structure can be seen in the scanned images!
Intellectual training can physically change the cerebral cortex, I really can't imagine it!
The difference between the toys and games that children are exposed to will have an impact on children's brain structure and academic ability in the long run.
Therefore, in the smallest toys, do not set limits for the girls in the family.
This reminds me of the Lego company, which wrote in the manual as early as 1974:
The impulse to create is equally strong in the hearts of all children, boys and girls.
After so many years, this passage is also worth pondering.
02
Boys want to be poor? Girls want to be rich?
I once saw a mother talking in the mother and baby group, saying that girls must be rich, so that they will not be deceived by men with a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers.
This logic made me confused.
Why do we always say that sons should be poor and daughters should be rich? It is nothing more than because we feel that men must earn money by struggling in the future, and they can suffer to know how the world works. And the daughter is likely to marry in the future, rich and nurturing, the image temperament is better, the person is more peaceful, in order to marry better.
But looking at the female victims in the social news in the past two years, most of them are well-behaved women with superior families and carefully held in the palm of their hands by their parents.
These little girls, who have never suffered since childhood, lack imagination about poverty and humanity, but will be coaxed by the gentle words of the boys and follow them to suffer.
Not even a bouquet of flowers, not even a box of chocolates.
You see, this kind of affluence only provides girls with a path to rely on others, but in this era of great change and rapid pace, it is too dangerous to entrust a girl's life to another person.
It is better to let the girl learn how to survive and use her hands to fight for everything she wants.
This is what parents of girls should do most.
03
Girls are more well-behaved, boys are braver?
In psychology, there is a word called "crown syndrome", which means that when faced with the opportunity for promotion, women tend to hesitate, dare not take the initiative to take on new tasks and workplace roles, and are too worried that they do not have the skills needed to have a new position.
In other words, girls tend to be less willing to win or lose, and more cowardly.
Men, on the other hand, have been more aggressive than girls since childhood when the physical gap between men and women is not large.
This is also due to gender stereotypes.
In our conception, masculinity has always been exclusive to men.
And the labels about the beautiful qualities of girls are mostly gentle, careful, and spoiled girls.
Have you found that the labels given to girls are to make girls a pleaser, so that girls tend to make everyone satisfied in their daily interactions, which is also easy to develop a girl's low self-esteem personality.
But the best girls are always hermaphrodites.
Gentleness and good manners have never been a talisman for girls.
On the contrary, it will make the girls lose the ability to fight and become the one who is most likely to be bullied and sacrificed.
Finally, Mama Bao would like to say:
Women are never worse than men, intellectually more so!
Yan Ning, the goddess of Tsinghua, became the youngest professor at Tsinghua at the age of 30 and has her own independent laboratory and her own doctoral students.
She was elected to the National Academy of Sciences at the age of 42, and she was one of only 25 people in the world that year.
Tu Youyou, who has passed the old age, became the first chinese scientist in history to win the Nobel Prize because of the discovery of artemisinin.
Her invention saved the lives of billions of people around the world!
I hope that every girl in the family, from this moment on, will demand more than just:
Girls' family, you don't have to fight so hard...
but:
Girls can fight like boys!
It can even be more spelled!