The man who hurt me the most in the world went

In the mist of tears, I seemed to see the young and immature me running in the green courtyard, and you held a fan and trembled behind me and shouted: Slow down, don't fall. Now, you are lying on the bed in the hospital, just lying like that, and I know that for the rest of my life we are separated from yin and yang, and I will lose you forever, my grandmother.

When I was born, I was in time for the most stringent years of family planning, so I was sent to my grandmother's house four days after I was born, when I was a child, they always told me, if it wasn't for my grandmother, maybe I would have been sent a long time ago, so I have a different deep-rooted dependence on my grandmother, childhood memories, are now very blurred, but some things even if the years are precipitated, but always buried deep in the heart, at that time my parents had no time to take care of me, I have been in my grandmother's house, my grandfather went to work, I tied two horns and pigtails upside down behind my grandmother, Listen to her tell stories, pull homely routines, accompany each other, one old and one young, complement each other...

When I was six years old, I went home to school, so I made a lot of trouble, because I didn't want to leave my grandmother, at that time we were still living in my hometown, my home was only five or six miles away from my grandmother's house, I often ran back to my grandmother's house after school without calling a cigarette, once it rained, I walked to the middle of the road into muddy water, a person was scared and cried, and when the family was found, I almost cried and cried, and when I came home, I had a high fever, and my grandmother was scared all night, and from then on, I sternly told me not to go back alone again. From kindergarten all the way to high school, I had to go to my grandmother's house for a while every holiday, and it seemed that I had formed a habit, so much so that some of my classmates thought I was not a single parent at that time. Or what's the matter with the parents? Why is it always mentioned that grandma and grandpa are not parents and siblings. It's not that I'm not close to them, but that my affection with my grandmother and grandfather is a habit I've had since childhood.

After graduating from graduate school, I joined the work force and successfully became a teacher, and my grandmother was very happy, and everyone said, Nell, become a teacher, a high school teacher. Later, I got married and had children, slowly, busy at work, busy with chores at home, sometimes even forgot to call them often, until my mother reminded me that it was not a long time since I called my grandmother, and she kept nagging you. I suddenly thought that I hadn't been back to see them for a long time, so I quickly took the child to see them. Every time she went back, she loved Wu and Wu, poured out her love for me to my husband and child, I watched her trembling behind my son's ass, holding a fan fan, lest mosquitoes bite the child, listening to the parting, she was looking forward to the intersection, repeatedly advising... Every time, I silently remind myself to come back and see it often, but many times it doesn't happen.

In the past two years, I have encountered life Waterloo, life seems to have entered a dark moment, for a period of time, I am afraid to see people, especially hurt my loved relatives, self-esteem is very strong I just feel very humiliated, I am afraid to go home, afraid to see them, afraid of them asking, I want to hide, and even once thought of leaving this world, the process of coming out of this world is very difficult, very painful, and when I slowly come out of the pain, I know that my grandmother fell ill, cerebral thrombosis, I suddenly woke up, when I was immersed in my own pain, They're old, so caught off guard.........

So sick for a year, a lifetime of unwilling to trouble others she, almost eat and drink Lasa can not take care of themselves to be served for a year, I know that she feels uncomfortable, I know that she feels that everyone has added trouble, once, I went to see her, I took her hand and told her not to feel burdened, everyone takes care of you is the duty, should be, but she did not say anything, just silent tears, a few days before her death, she suddenly became very good, eat more, especially the second aunt who is far away in Tianjin came back, We all said she was thinking of a girlfriend, and when she came back, she was happy. It was the summer vacation, I took my son back, she quietly watched my naughty son running around, smiled peacefully, she didn't talk much, and suddenly said: Ni, stay here, right? And I was telling her because of something, I have something, I can't......... If time could go back in time, if I knew it was the last time I could get closer to her, I wouldn't pay attention to any big things, I would stay with her...

When I received the call from my mother, I did not realize that I was going to lose her, my mother only told me that my grandmother was in the hospital, I had time to come over, it was more than nine o'clock in the evening, I coaxed my son to rush over, before I went to the ward, I heard my aunt crying loudly, I was suddenly confused... I saw her lying quietly, very peacefully, very calmly, and the tears could not be stopped any longer... I know that the person who hurt me the most in the world has gone, and since then I have no way to take the knee in front of her, and there is no one who calls me Nell in pain like that.........