1, at four o'clock in the morning, I ordered a night, soon arrived, because there was no time to take it because I was playing a group at that time, I let him send it to the room. I took the takeaway and smiled at him, he looked at my record and said hello, and pushed me aside to pick up the mouse. I took the takeaway and watched him black out five times in three minutes, and he fell into deep thought. I couldn't help but pick up my phone and give a good review!
2. When I was six years old, one morning, my uncle hurried to my house to take me out, and as he walked, he took a piece of candy from his pocket and gave it to me, saying that he would wait to help him do something. Walking to a street, my uncle put me down and said, "See the child in front of you?" I nodded and said, "See." The uncle said, "Just now that kid beat your cousin, you go and beat him up for me, we adults are not good." ”
3, the landlord has been a round-faced meat sister since he was a child, and he is always called a big-faced sister who is particularly distressed about this. When I was in elementary school, I watched Star Ye's movie, which has a set of floating fists that can be comparable to plastic surgery, and I watched the heroine become more beautiful after being beaten into a pig's head, and I was very envious. My cousin saw me like this and told me that he would do that boxing technique and help me become more beautiful. And I actually agreed with a look of excitement ~ Later, if my father had not come back in time to save me who was beaten up and bruised, I guess I would have broken my cousin's hand...
4, the landlord Sichuan people, that year to Guangdong to work, responsible for receiving our boss is a big beauty. I followed the buddies behind the wolf, and the buddies said: This waist bar, this Luo Du (ass) is comfortable when it is seen! I said, this long-legged pole is the most bus I can hold to play for a night... The beautiful boss suddenly turned back and scolded with a flushed face: Two melon dolls, the old woman is also from Sichuan, is there in your head?
5. The landlord's professional matchmaker with a red line. Recently, I met a very difficult male guest. Although he is older but a rich man, I have introduced him to more than a dozen girls, but he can't see any of them, so he angrily asked: All kinds of people have been introduced, what kind of person do you want to find? Only to see his old face blush: Don't have a kind of it
6, my mother came to live in the city where I worked for a few days, and I would talk to my father on the phone before going to bed at night, I think my mother cared so much about my father, so I dialed my father's phone and said: "Dad! Tell you to come with your mother is not happy, you see how much your mother cares about you! My father replied: "Which door cares, your mother is not noisy with me every night before going to bed, and she can't sleep at all..."
7, bought two small turtles back, to the little goldfish to make a companion. The little nephew suddenly said to me: Aunt, I know which turtle is the mother! Curiously, I asked: How do you tell the difference? He said: You see there is a very shy one who does not climb out to play, and the girls are more shy. Oh ~ this thinking, no problem!
8, bought a new down jacket, yesterday to wear to the office, Lao Liu said what to wear ah, said nothing, which is not good. So I changed into something else today, and when I entered the office, I saw Lao Liu wearing the same down jacket as I did yesterday! I still have to say to me: Look, this down jacket is still good for me to wear!
9, the seller: "Pro, did you sleep?" Delete the photo, I'll give the money back to you" Double Eleven is in full swing, and the silent contest between the seller show and the buyer show is in progress! Watch the seller show, then watch the buyer show! Me, which one will you support?
10, the barbarian king drank and knocked on the door confusedly, Ai Xi opened the door to find that the barbarian king drank too much, very angry and said: "You knocked on the wrong door!" "After hearing this, the barbarian king stumbled and left, and did not go far before he squatted down, it seems that he drank a lot." Ai Xi was afraid that the barbarian king would catch a cold, so he went to help the barbarian king, and as a result, the barbarian king saw his wife coming, and he was very aggrieved: "Wife, just knocked on the wrong door, and was thrown out by an ugly monster!" "Now the barbarian king is sleeping on the main road, and he doesn't know when he will be able to go home... It is estimated that the barbarian king will also be beaten when he wakes up.
11, my sister received a breakup text message from her boyfriend, she has been crying and crying in the afternoon, my parents really can't stand it, entrusted me to persuade her, I said: You are so beautiful, the breakup is your boyfriend blind. You look at you, although the eyes are small but your face is large, although the chin is not pointed but your ears are pointed, although the legs are short but your legs are thick. Sure enough, it worked, and my sister suddenly stopped crying and was looking around for something to hit me!
12. Goalkeeper Ah Cheng has always been the weakest link in our team. However, once when I went out to play a game, Ah Cheng used both hands and feet, high and low blocks, and prevented the other side from scoring multiple goals, and Ah Hua and I were stunned on the sidelines. Later, the other party was a little angry and broke down, and drove Ah Cheng out of the billiard hall.
13, outpatient clinic, there is a little girl with a nail in her hand to break the cold. The next afternoon, as soon as I went to work, I saw the little girl again, and I asked if I had come to get the rabies vaccine. Me: "Where did you bite?" I look at the wound. The little girl held out her hand that had been pierced by nails, and I said, "There is no wound!" The little girl: "I didn't get bitten, I just saw a stray dog on the side of the road, I felt quite well-behaved, I teased it, and the result... And the puppy licked my wounds..."
14. A certain jun is known as the world's first blower. One day, several brothers and sisters chatted idly, and the first blow gave full play to the blowing work: my mother had a Chinese New Year's Eve, wrapped a dumpling, and the whole family of eight ate for a week, only to see a 2-meter-high pig bone stele with a small seal written: Twenty-three kilometers away from the filling.
15, a certain sister said ah, and the unit has a new little girl, do not know why the first day of chatting with her on the special fate, think? Our boyfriends are very similar, but when we both took out the photos and looked at them, we found that we were the same boyfriend.