Sayings：
Two days ago, I watched Douban and was completely saddened by a group of people.
In a post, they spit bitterly and count the things that they missed because they were timid:
When he is most juvenile, because of his inferiority, he does not dare to fall in love with the girl he likes;
Think that they are incompetent, refuse the appreciation of the leader, and miss the opportunity for promotion and salary increase;
I want to become a drama actor, but I am afraid of losing face, I am worried about messing up, I am almost 30 years old, and I have not been on stage once.
In thousands of messages, the word that everyone mentions the most is "regret".
I think if I could try it again, would my life be different?
Today I approached these people and invited them to do a "24-hour adventure experiment for the coward."
What are they afraid of, just do what they want to do and see what happens?
The ending is much more fun than we thought.
I grew up loving to draw and wanted to go to art school.
But because I have not studied seriously, even if I dare to try easily, I am afraid of failure, and I did not apply for this major in the college entrance examination.
It was shelved for more than 20 years, and I never picked up a paintbrush again.
Until the epidemic could not go out, I saw that the paintbrush was eager to move, and I began to copy it with the idea of trying it.
This is my painting of Miss Maggie Cheung, who smiled:
And the model sister who was made to cry by me:
When my family saw my work, the most common thing they said was "it's also too ugly... Don't draw it. ”
Yeah, I also think it's not pretty, but if you don't draw well, don't you want to paint?
At first, I didn't understand this problem, but after two years of painting, I gradually found the reason.
The moment you pick up the brush, you never know what kind of ghost it will look like when you stop the brush.
It is always worth looking forward to, and it can always be imagined that this kind of happiness is simply rare in the world.
If you don't even try because you are afraid of failure, you will wake up crying in your dreams.
That's how I hypnotized myself, and finally I have good news for you:
I was admitted to the Oil Painting Institute of the China Academy of Arts and was a qualified student!
△ The current work, the progress is fast
I'm from Peking University, but you definitely can't imagine that a bully like us is very vulnerable.
Very provocative, very timid, because smooth habits, can not withstand any setbacks.
Whenever you want to do something, you evaluate what the worst outcome is and what the best outcome is.
Once the prediction is risky, consciously give up.
As a result, before the age of 32, I was afraid to associate with handsome people and was afraid of failure.
I don't think I'm bad, I'm not in a hurry, I can wait. It is too undignified to take the initiative to fight for such a thing.
Passively spending to 35 years old, found that the same age of excellent men, is already the father of the second child.
This reminds me of what the Hong Kong writer Yi Shu said:
When a woman reaches a certain age, there may be no shortage of suitors around her, but the quality of this group of suitors has declined compared to when she was younger.
I realized that if you don't take the initiative to create opportunities, there may be nothing good that can belong to you.
I decided to learn from a friend who started dating non-stop at the age of 27.
Seeing everyone will frantically pass on the message:
I want to be in love, I want to get married, and I have a good quick introduction.
After a long time, everyone will indeed think about her and give him the right objects.
She can always maintain the courtship hormone, in the screening process, gradually know what kind of person she wants to find, and then grab it fiercely.
I started that way, trying to attend various events and soon met my current boyfriend at a party.
△ Editorial department with picture
It's a wonderful feeling, and when you decide to take the initiative, good things always come sooner.
I only rode a bicycle in 2017, and my family taunted me countless times before, "I can't even ride a bicycle, what can I do in the future?" ”
I don't know why I'm just afraid, afraid of falling, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of others hitting me, I bumping into others.
That day, a French friend sent a video of his cycling adventure.
I was envious of the broken, he told me to hurry downstairs to ride, as long as I fell once, I would not be afraid anymore!
I was a little hesitant: "Next time, it's going to rain outside." ”
Disappointed, he said, "It's now or never." ”
This sentence stung me instantly. Yeah, when am I going to wait?
I couldn't answer, and I didn't know where the courage came from, so I got up and went straight downstairs to get my bike!
I got in the car and was scared in less than 3 seconds, and I began to self-hypnotize—
The cars were all pushed out, and the worst thing was the wrestling shame, and no one knew me anyway.
After unloading the burden, the body became more relaxed, tried to slide on the side of one foot, slid for a few minutes, and began to find the feeling.
The breeze is blowing in your ears, so cozy! It turns out that cycling is not so difficult.
△ A beautiful sunset that I have seen by bicycle
In 2019, I also got my motorcycle license in Thailand.
After accomplishing these two extremely frightening things, I rarely set limits for myself or fear this or that.
Because "the hardest thing in the world" - riding a bicycle and riding a motorcycle, I have all done it, what am I afraid of!
The first time I plucked up the courage to confess, how long did I do psychological construction?
First in the WeChat transfer assistant, type out the confessional words, and then paste them into the dialog box.
Staring at the draft in the chat box hesitated, read it several times, took a deep breath, and then pressed the send button.
Then turn off the phone, not daring to read the message he sent.
After a long time, boot to see this chat screenshot, the heart is broken.
Angry and humiliated, he felt that he was so bad that he didn't deserve him.
Later, I saw a passage from the psychiatrist Dr. Guy Wenche, who said:
"It's not your own fault that you can't do it, it's not your fault. Most of the reasons are just that there is no feeling between the two people and no calls.
You're not the type the other person likes, or he's obsessed with his ex and your lifestyle isn't in tune. ”
Yes, it turns out that the pain after being rejected is because I feel hurt and denied.
But it's okay with you, it's just that everyone's preferences are different, there's no right or wrong.
Why should I treat him as a judge and wait for him to give a yes or no? Love doesn't need anyone to agree!
In the future, we must also bravely confess, even if we are doomed to failure, we must also confess, why!
There is no encounter by doing nothing, and I will never lose the ability to love a lover because I am rejected.
As a perennial patient with severe social phobia, I have not quarreled with anyone, and the club has died.
But I have a vague desire in my heart to be domineering, so I learned a lot of quarrelsome social essences.
An experiment was conducted for the first time, and the method of practice was summed up in one sentence: to regain the initiative.
Once, when I was in charge of a blind date, a colleague in the next group offended a girl: "She is 30 years old, and she can only match 40-year-old men." ”
I was angry and confronted them, but I didn't admit it, and kept asking me who I listened to.
Of course, I can't name names in order to protect my personal privacy.
When the quarrel was overwhelming, I had an epiphany, why explain his problem? I can ask him new questions.
Then the conversation turned sharply, "Do you think this is not offensive?" You are also a girl, are you happy to hear this? ”
In short, ignore what the other person is saying while he beeps, and then quickly throw out a new question.
Quickly turn the situation around, you come to interrogate others, and eventually it is the other party who is getting angrier and angrier.
Let the other party fall into my aura and fall into a passive situation to listen to my command.
This positive feedback leads to more and more positive experiences until you can easily complete such a step.
It was the end of my social phobia and the beginning of my social prowess.
【Write at the end】
Recommend watching a short video that chronicles people from 5 to 75 years old telling "the bravest thing ever done."
Injecting alone, opposing bosses, taking care of sick friends...
I found that when we were young, we were a little braver, and even if we did a little thing, we would rejoice for a long time.
I don't know when we started, we were afraid of failure, worried about losing face, and even the impulse to do something was gone.
"If this thing comes and you don't have the courage to solve it, it will definitely come again."
It’s now or never.
Recently watching the news, there is an athlete named Gu Ailing who has attracted much attention. You don't know, she's had her ligaments torn, broken, and self-doubted, but with a courage to overcome the fear of injury and keep skiing.
One of her words impressed me deeply: "You don't have to wait for you to be older or more experienced, no matter where you start, you can change the world", "Go bravely and push your limits".
In the new year, when you have the opportunity to be brave, I hope you can catch it too.
Written by: Good luck with meat
Design: Aoi
Editor-in-charge: Yuan Sandian
Vespers Hours:
When you pluck up the courage
Don't look ahead, don't compromise repeatedly, and be happy
You will find that life is actually quite good
Not so many kans and heart eyes
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