This article is original by Xuan Pa Parenting, all rights reserved, infringement must be investigated
Speaking of which, we have been thinking about a question, that is, why do parents have children?
To reproduce, or to add face to oneself? The reasons are varied.
But can we have children at will? If the parents' physical and financial problems are relatively large, will the children born be unhappy?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="5" > "I'm worried, I don't want to die", an eight-year-old scavenger boy said a sentence that made countless netizens cry</h1>
Some time ago, a paragraph about "an eight-year-old boy who makes a living by picking up scraps" caused a hot discussion on the Internet.
It is reported that the little boy's father ran away from home, his mother also suffered from mental illness, and he had to find a way to survive at the age of eight. Thin and helpless, he can only make a living by picking up scrap and selling them for money.
During the interview, the little boy's sentence "I am worried, I don't want to die" surprised the reporters present.
The reporter asked bitterly: "Why do you think of dying?" ”
The little boy innocently replied, "If I die, how can I play?" My biggest wish is that I don't want to die! ”
The phrase he said, "I'm dead, how to play?" reflects that the little boy is still a child who likes to play.
At the age of eight, it was the time when he was studying in school, thriving under the care of his parents and family, playing and enjoying the joy of childhood, but he lost the protection of his parents and struggled to survive alone in fate and life, and was a bitter child.
The reporter then asked: "Why do you think you are going to die, how will you die?" ”
The little boy replied, "Freeze to death, starve to death." ”
The reporter said: "No, why do you think so?" ”
The little boy said: "I was worried that no one would pay me for the heating, and I would sleep at night without taking off my clothes at home. ”
This shows that the little boy often does not have enough to eat, is not warm to wear, and does not live well. At such a young age, he suffered a lot, fearing that he would starve to death and freeze to death, which many children could not understand and imagine.
Many netizens have called out heartache, discomfort and heartache, enthusiastic netizens ask social institutions to help him quickly, some netizens want to pay a year's heating bill to the child, some people say that their life is not good, but they are also willing to fund the living expenses of the little boy every month.
In addition, many netizens have pointed the finger at the parents of their children, claiming that they are not worthy of parents!
Let me ask you, one of the parents is mentally ill and the other is running away, did they ever think about the future when they gave birth? No!
Do they think of children as beings? No!
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="56" > if our children lose the protection of their families, can they live so strongly? </h1>
The eight-year-old boy feared he was dead and couldn't play anymore. This shows that the hardships of life still can't trap the nature of children, and he also wants many children to play like that, so carefree. However, he can only be strong enough to find a way to solve the problem of survival.
Compared with the little boy in this interview, many children's lives are really too happy. Not only can they go to school, but they can also participate in different activities, wear different styles of clothes, and play with a variety of toys.
Imagine if our children had lost the shelter of their families for some reason, would they have been able to live so strongly? I think that answer is really debatable.
Now many children argue with their parents at every turn, do not know how to respect and cherish, waste food, and like to compare. Parents have a headache and do not understand, thinking that they have unconditionally given their children the life and materials they deserve, why their children are still so ignorant.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="57" > the importance of frustration education: Don't let parental coddling become an obstacle to children's growth and independence</h1>
Nowadays, many children will become emotional when they encounter some difficulties, cry and make a lot of noise, and even choose to take their lives easily just because of a criticism from their parents or classmates.
In recent years, there have been incidents of primary and secondary school students committing suicide because of a little setback. Previously, the news that a 13-year-old student committed suicide because of a joke from a classmate caused heated discussion among netizens. From this point of view, children's frustration education is still lacking.
Many parents are too doting on their children, and they help their children solve any ups and downs, resulting in children developing a pampered personality and making some unreasonable and even extreme behaviors when they are not happy.
Because the child's physical and mental development is not yet mature, has not yet formed a sound personality and a strong psychological endurance, any small problem and small contradiction that is not important in the eyes of adults may be a setback for the child, thus generating frustration, resulting in a series of behaviors, and even some extreme behaviors.
Frustration refers to the inner experience of irritability, anger, irritation, frustration, and helplessness experienced by individuals with the occurrence of setback events.
Don't let the doting of parents become an obstacle to children's growth and independence, which is a subject that every parent should learn. Therefore, the frustration education of children is particularly important.
Be wary of fake "frustration education", real "frustration education" is education based on love and security Of course, setback education is not artificially creating setbacks for children, let alone amplifying setbacks and making children suffer.
Some parents have a deformed misunderstanding of frustration education, and they think that they must create a lot of setbacks for their children, so that he can be independent and strong in society in the future.
There was once a very popular video in which a little girl pouted and cried and said to her father, "You have a flaw - it always makes me unhappy." ”
The little girl's father righteously said: "If you don't exercise at home, you will encounter some unhappy things, and your ability to resist setbacks... When you grow up, you'll be finished without your parents, so you should always be unhappy. Does it make sense? ”
The little girl retorted, "I don't agree, if a child is old and unhappy, he will get an unhappy disease, so he will not grow up healthy." ”
The dialogue between father and daughter just reflects the wrong cognition and deformed understanding of many parents on "frustration education", and children simply cannot understand the behavior of parents who deliberately make them unhappy, such as groundless accusations, questions, arbitrary scolding, and deliberately putting the child in a dilemma, it is these fake "setback education" that make the child more and more fragile and sensitive, and even cause childhood trauma that needs to be healed for a lifetime.
The real frustration education is to be able to sensitively capture the child's inner needs when the child encounters problems and difficulties, tell the child how to deal with the problem in a timely manner to solve the difficulty, give him unconditional comfort and help, and encourage him to try to solve it independently. That is, to develop an optimistic style of interpretation for children.
Explanatory style: An explanatory style is a stable tendency of individuals to attribute positive and negative events in their lives.
Helping children form an optimistic explanatory style is real frustration education. From childhood to adulthood, there is no shortage of setbacks in a long life, what is missing is the period of character and psychological formation that is sincerely listened to, actively guided, rational analysis and correct solutions by adults.
For example, if a child has a conflict with a classmate or teacher at school, this may be a setback to his interpersonal relationship, and he will have various emotions such as boredom, irritability and helplessness.
At this time, as a parent, you should pay attention to the child's emotional changes and psychological changes in time. Take the initiative to guide the child to tell you the causes and consequences of the contradiction, listen to the key points of the child's unhappiness, and then analyze the causes and merits of the contradiction with him, let the child think about how to resolve the contradiction, and encourage him to do so, and follow up the follow-up of this matter, accompany the child to face and solve this problem.
True frustration education is education based on love and security.
Life is full of setbacks, parents should seize these opportunities, guide children to develop a confident and optimistic personality, face setbacks, not afraid of difficulties, strong and brave, and form a strong self-healing force.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="58" > picking up waste is not shameful, escaping setbacks and "living as waste" is humiliating</h1>
We saw that the child's father ran away and abandoned his mentally ill wife and young child. As the only adult in the family who has the ability to take on the responsibility of the family, when the family encounters illness and economic tests, he can escape, and he can not be responsible for it, and he will leave. It's a "waste" act, an inability to face setbacks, and even worse than his eight-year-old son.
Young children go to pick up waste, live independently, there is no shame at all, and the father who "lives as a waste" is the most shameful.
Therefore, I hereby appeal that we must not live as a waste product when facing setbacks in life. Even picking up waste to feed the family is a kind of responsibility and is not shameful.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="59" > Xuan Dad has something to say</h1>
The story of an eight-year-old boy who collects scraps for a living shows us that not every child's childhood is happy and carefree, and this little boy's body is full of strength and expectation. He longed to be able to feed himself, to be able to feed himself, to live and to have fun.
So should the little flowers in the greenhouse learn to cherish what they have now, learn to be independent and strong, respect and understand?
Little Boy Follow-up:
At present, the little boy has enrolled in school with the help of the community and society, and the neighbors have also reached out to help the little boy's life, diet and other aspects. Although this winter is cold, I believe that the little boy can spend a warm winter, and I wish him a healthy and happy growth in the future, and use this strong and optimistic spirit to create a good life.
I am Xiaoxuan's father, actively learning to take a baby "daughter slave", sharing the thoughts and feelings of the parenting process every day, if you like my articles, please pay attention to, forward, comment, your like is the biggest motivation for my writing!
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