A girl was walking in the park when she met a man and said, "Beauty gives you 100 pieces, can you see your breasts?"' The girl received 100 yuan without saying a word, and then looked at the man dismissively

A girl was walking in the park when she met a man and said, "Beauty gives you 100 pieces, can you see your breasts?"' The sister received 100 yuan without saying a word, and then looked at the man and said dismissively: Are you ready? The man smiled triumphantly and nodded his head in response, "Mm-hmm, okay, okay!" Then the girl picked up the branches on the ground and slammed the man, while smoking, she said: Really TM perverted, actually like to see me fierce!

2. The husband who grew up in a single-parent family was spoiled by his mother-in-law as a mother-in-law, and gave his mother-in-law 1.2 million plastic surgery without my consent. I was so angry that I divorced my husband. A few days later I found another boyfriend and took him home to meet my parents. I said to Dad, Dad, this is the boyfriend I just found. Dad looked at me with a serious face: Are you sure? As soon as I saw that the situation was not good, I immediately got up and ran all the way with my boyfriend. As a result, my father called me: You come back quickly, I know him, but he had a car accident when he was a child and had his left leg amputated! I silently looked at my boyfriend's left leg and immediately wrapped my arms around him tightly, no matter what happened, I would break up with him!

3. When I picked up my son from school this afternoon, my son said, "Dad, I got into trouble today and made the teacher cry." I was taken aback and asked, you little calf, you are in trouble at school again (fighting). The son said, no, in class today I played with the suction stone, was found by the language teacher, she came to confiscate, and then sucked on her big ring, she cried at that time, ran to the principal to fight. Me: Little calf don't play with that sucking stone next to your mother's necklace. If you don't obey, see how I beat you!"

4. Recently, the toothache was very serious, half of the face was swollen, and I went to buy painkillers to meet my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law followed me home, helped me clean up, and washed my clothes. I said no, but she insisted, just let me rest. My wife came home from work and said to me, "You see how good my mother is to you, you have a toothache, she takes care of you so well." At this time, the mother-in-law said in surprise: "I thought you beat him up, so I came to coax him!" ”

5. The younger brother met a white fumei on the plane and had to insert the door backwards. Mom and Dad counted hundreds of thousands of bride price, laughing at Mimi's going to the wedding. In the middle of the ceremony, the host let everyone take the stage to participate in the game, and the prize was actually two soft Chinese! I didn't want to face it at the time, and I finished the game in an ugly state. When the prize was handed out, a host came up with a tray covered with red cloth, and I was very excited. I was dumbfounded when I unveiled the red cloth, two soft Chinese toothpaste!

6. After graduation, I applied to become a nursing nurse and went to take care of a hospitalized aunt some time ago. After a long time, I got closer to my aunt's handsome son and slowly gained a good feeling. Finally my aunt recovered, and his son bought me 999 roses. In front of my aunt, I knelt down on one knee and said: Thank you for always taking good care of her, this flower is a little heart for you and my wife, please accept it!

7. In the afternoon, my boyfriend said to me: Wife, my eyes have been stung by a horse bee, and I can't open them. I said: Ice can reduce swelling. When I came home from work, my boyfriend's eyes were slightly better, but there were several blood marks on his face! Me: Who caught your eyes? Boyfriend: I can't find ice cubes in the refrigerator, I had to cover my eyes with salted fish that has been frozen for half a year, who knows our cat saw it, a hungry tiger servant food, my face is like this!

8. Once I went to bed in writing class and woke up to ask what the topic of the essay at the same table was. The same table struggled to write without looking up and said, "The topic is if I were a pig." As soon as I listened, I wrote this, so I thought hard and racked my brains to write a "If I were a pig." When the teacher asked me to read it out emotionally in front of the whole class, I realized that the title was "If I Were a Spider."

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #